The Let's Play Archive

Monster Rancher

by Mr. Swoon

Part 46: We build up Galvatron's intelligence and speed.

So what course do you want to send Galvatron to next?

Oh, I think we all know the answer to this...

Much like Megatron, Galvatron would leave his cave each morning to howl endlessly about the snow. Only Galvatron's howls were howls of joy. He loves the snow, and will not stop screaming until the whole world knows. Or goes deaf.

His enthusiasm about the mountains was truly infectious. Every day, at 5:00 am, the stable hands would join in Galvatron's daily howling. I fear for my sanity.

After eight of the longest months of my life, Galvatron has learned a new skill. To celebrate, he howled even louder. Please take him back. I beg of you. I'll pay you! Wait, no. I'll give you a discount on your next training, so long as it isn't for power. Yes. That's far more sensible.

A new skill? I wonder what he learned...

HELL. FUCKING. YES. Holly, we are sending him to battle RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Are you sure? He can barely take a punch at this point. I mean, I could even knock him out.

Why must you always have to kill my buzz? Fine. We'll send him into the desert. We have that coupon, anyway.

The howling... It's all I can hear now. It haunts my sleep. It lingers in my mind, like a toxic cloud of noise.

Do you know what tinnitus is? I didn't. The doctors claim I have a special version of that, except that I hear the shrill cry of the golem instead of a constant ringing sound. I've taken up a morphine habit just to dull the pain. Oh, and your monster didn't learn any new skills. Just how to howl more. And his groin has doubled in size.

Wow, has it ever!

Are you even old enough to be saying that?

What? He has a very impressive package. He'll win best in show, for sure.

The depressing thing is that you really mean it.

But his defense still sucks.

It's times like this that I'm glad she's still young and a little naïve. The last thing I want is a bestiality charge to hit my ranch... Unless it was a pixie...Hmmm...


Oh. Right. The training thing.

Are you satisfied now, Holly?

And how!

...This is my fault for phrasing the question like that. But enough sex! It is time for violence!

It's not just Galvatron's well-polished crotch that has grown. He is gonna make fat doggy stew.

Cyclone is the greatest thing known to man. I mean that. I truly do.

Can you guess what happened to the bug?

I'll give you a hint: He didn't not get crushed to death by a giant tornado of living rocks.

Aahahahahahaha oh god someone got another grapefruit golem. This is going to be great.

If you guessed that Galvatron made some grapefruit juice with his cyclone of death...

You'd be wrong! He dodged that. He did not, however, dodge Galvatron's finger as he poked holes in the golem's fruity body and drank the juice that gushed out. Some of it splashed in poor Holly's eyes.

No it didn't! You deliberately sprayed juice in my eyes.

And then the bees came.

Galvatron, uh, really likes bees.

Mo' money! Mo' money! Mo' money!

We should do something to celebrate this win!

You're right! I'll treat you all to dinner at-GRAPEFFRUIT IN THE EYES!


Hahahaha! Ah, good times.

But Holly was right on one thing, we must do something. If not to celebrate, then to kill some time.

There's a wide variety of jobs I can force Galvatron to do while I wait for my cash flow to build up...

Or, I could just have him punch his way through C Rank like it was a giant grapefruit.

Why did you do that to me again!? I thought you were going to stop being so mean!





...Good times...