The Let's Play Archive

Monster Rancher

by Mr. Swoon

Part 48: To Hartville!

Ok, we'll go with you to the jungle. But if I get any jungle diseases, you're getting infected by a screwdriver to the ribs.


Almost. Just let me get my hat.

What do you think?

That looks awfully familiar...

You're imagining things. Must be getting senile in your ripe old age, Santa. But enough banter. To the jungle!

Hey Holly?


Have you ever seen Congo?

You know I don't watch movies.

Right. Well, if we run across any large apes, I'll just leave negotiating with them up to you.

I think I see something up ahead. Is this Hartville?

How in the name of god's third nipple do you know that?

Because it was written in ancient texts.

Which you don't know how to read.

Yes, those are the ones. Let's move on.

This is what the natives refer to as a "geyser".

Amazing. They have a name for everything!

Galvatron, go destroy the natural wonder.

Yes, it takes a genius to think to plug up a hole. I'm the crackhead. Why am I the most logical one here?

Hey, what's that shiny thing over there?



You're telling me they made compact discs here, in this ancient jungle.


Fuck it. I'll believe him. Galvatron, go in there and bring me back some David Bowie.

It's a banana.

It's much more than a mere banana! It's... it's...

One shanking later....

Awesome, let's go defile it.

You're actually agreeing with me?!

I think Galvatron has earned the right. But if I see you trying to put your name on that wall, I will break your hands.

Yes ma'am...

Whoops! Time's up! We gotta go!

But... but Galvatron's honor!

We can honor him with a happy meal on the way home. Let's just get the hell out of here before I catch the ecoli.

You mean ebola.


Yeah, I mean this time we got a whole banana.

Ahem, MAGIC banana.

It's going to be magically up your ass in a second.

There is no need to be rude.

Yes, thank you Holly. I had almost forgotten in the last five minutes since we brought it up.

Right. It's "magic".

No. Well, maybe. But it's more than that. According to Monster Breeder Monthly, this banana is used to capture lazy monsters. Especially apes.

Like that monkey you got into a blood lust over at that one tournament?

Um. Yes. Except this one would be alive.

Well, we'll have to hold onto that banana in case we ever want to make us a monkey.

In the meantime, we have to decide what to do with Galvatron. There's a tournament this week, or we could skip that and focus on training him for the next official cup. What do you think?

You should know how I make my decisions by now.

Oh, right. Hello, Internet! What should you tell Norman to tell me to make Galvatron do?