The Let's Play Archive

Monster Rancher

by Mr. Swoon

Part 61: Stonewalling the Official E Cup

In lieu of building up his stats, I've been putting HAL in every tournament I could find. He's getting pretty famous now... And I'm getting nice and wealthy. There's a low rank fight coming up this week. I think we're gonna enter it, just to finish off any monsters I might have missed.

Oh, pshhh. What's the worst that could happen? ENTER HIM.

I really don't like this.

Your girlish whining has been duly noted.

And even more monsters continue to charge into HAL, like moths running into a brick wall of flame.

You're going to make the English majors reading this blog cry.

Good! 'Oooh la-dee-dah I have a degree! I don't wear clothes fished out of a dumpster! I have all my teeth!' Fucking wusses need a kick in the face.

Much like this dinosaur has demonstrated, except without the kicking.

And then we got rich and went home. The end.

That's not what happened!

FINE! You tell it then. I'm going to collect the alcohol residue from my jar of urine.

Uhm... Right. Anyway. HAL's victory was met with a chorus of boos. The audience grew tired of watching monsters run into a wall for ninety minutes straight. Worse still, was what happened when we returned to the ranch.

Thanks, Madamluna!


Jesus Christ, HAL. What did they do to you?

Yeah, that must be it.

But that yellow cap looked kind of familiar...

Nope. Crazed fan. Case closed. Now let's get him cleaned off.

All right, but... Um...


I don't think there are any monster groomers in town.

Then where CAN we go to wash him off?

I guess this works.

Are you sure this is safe?


Wait, what the hell is that graffiti doing?

It's a monster!

I- I wouldn't call this luck. How the hell is it even alive? He's a fucking drawing.

What am I, a scientist?


Oh, right. I dunno how he's alive, but he just is.

I kicked him in the crotch and walked off, dragging my new ugly-ass monster that I'm oh-so-fucking-fortunate to own with me.

Oh god. Do I have to?

Yes. We're keeping it, whether you like it or not.

Sigh. Fine. I guess I need to figure out a name for this thing, then decide on what the hell we're gonna do with it.