The Let's Play Archive

Monster Rancher

by Mr. Swoon

Part 75: Rockin' out the Official C Cup

Hey kids! For maximum monster ranching metal fun enjoyment, have this / Backup playing while you read!

Frank's here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and he's all out of ass.

I get the feeling we may have overdone the intelligence thing, but only time will tell.

To warm up, Frankie decided to whip out his AK.

And that was that. There's only so many different ways you can mention monsters getting gunned down like children in a drive-by.

Rumor had it that this dinosaur was bullet-proof. That didn't phase us, as we had a little back-up plan.


Frank jammed his air guitar so hard that it busted that dinosaur's face open. And we weren't done yet.

On the side, I've been teaching Frank how to sing Death Metal.

His rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" was so touching, that the dinosaur could do nothng but curl up into a fetal position and weep like a colicky infant.

Some Teamster pulled on a giant lever, and a fat dog fell out of a chute.

Fat doggy #971 tried to run against the hail of gunfire. It was like a scene from Baywatch, but with more blood.

Juice break.

This little pixie took a break from licking electrical sockets to fight Frank.

But her electronica could not stop the metal.

And she was stricken to the ground.

I was a little surprised by this match, and that fuckin' suezo's monk trainers were nowhere to be found. I think they're all dead by now. And despite that, he still enters himself.

I still don't know how he was able to train so much and still find the time to annoy everyone in C Rank.

Francis cared not for the suezo's master of the mystic arts.

Nor did the suezo care for being shot at by a machine gun. But nobody cares what he thinks.

And the final match. My magic master of machine guns and metal versus some blob thing. Holly decided to blab about science stuff, so I didn't pay attention to this match.

Did you know that sound carries through water? Can you guess what happens when water is hit with sound that is used as a weapon?

That's right! The water dies. It dies and leaves a horrible mutilated corpse behind!

Thank you, Holly. That was... informative.

And now we're even more famous!

This can only mean more vandalism on my wiki page.

I've been meaning to ask. Why don't I have a Wikipedia entry?

Because nobody cares about you.

And now that I've made her cry, I'd say this day was a huge success. All that's left is to decide what to do with Frankie next.