Part 82: Francis summons the undead and wins some invitationals
Do you remember me saying you had to win a handful of invitational tournaments to be considered the best trainer on Earth about ten years ago?
You're lucky I remember your name.
Still, this is an important fight. Winning it will increase your breeder level, too.
Then I guess we should train Frankie up to ungodly amounts without documenting it.
Alright! Off to the Monster's Ball.
So long as I get to see Halle Berry's titties.
I think Lucifer himself runs this tournament.
Look! There's Sobriety! And Galligan! And and... And I don't actually recognize any of these monsters...
You look like you're going to cry.
When I get overexcited, I stab myself in the thigh with a sewing needle to calm down.
That's super. Anyway, the first opponent is...
A generic naga. What the fuck.
Is this a practical joke? Am I on TV right now?
Man, if the rest of the opponents are this easy, I'm going to be rich.
Oh hey! If we win, I can get a new mask! Which is good, because the other one is decomposing.
You- you didn't bring it here, did you?
It's in your purse.
Aww, he melted off its face.
Maybe he can use that to burn the smell out of my bag.
Oh fuck dragon.
OH FUCK DRAGON!
In an act of sheer blind luck, Francis managed to get enough hits in the start of the match to KO the dragon. I have no idea how he did it, but I'm gonna buy him a beer for it.
I don't think he even drinks fluids.
I will not have you ruin my bonding moment with Frankie!
Oh, and we won a cattle skull trophy. It turns out that it's a real skull dipped in gold. The devil don't skimp.
And we got our level up notification!
I thought you figured out how to clean blood off by now.
No, I mean the next tournament. We received an invitation to the Disk Cup.
If not, I will add your body to the pile in my freezer downtown.
Oh christ, now what?
I heard you managed to assemble a Henger doll, and I just happened to plan a little trip to Reno. Care to join me?
Fine. Let's go hunt down the monster Necronomicon and summon the evil dead.
A light burst out of the stone book, and into Frankie's chest. He collapsed onto the desert floor, convulsing like an epileptic at a rave. His skin twisted and contorted, trying to pull itself from his flesh. He stopped moving, but he was still alive as far as we could tell.
A week later, he was back to fighting condition.
Do you see that mark on his arm?
That's right. That ring is the mark of the Henger. If the bearer of that mark is fused to a henger model, it will gain life. The ring also gives you a 5% discount at participating Target stores.
Then we'll celebrate our victory at Target. But first, we must win at the...
Why the fuck haven't you developed yet? It makes it so hard to make use of lines like that when you're still built like a little girl.
Uhm... Hey, there's a match starting!
It's a wall.
A wall with high defense!
Because it's a wall.
Frank broke the wall with his mind like... like breaking a wall with his mind.
Next up was a puddle of tar. I am immensely underwhelmed.
CRIPES! How does a hunk of goo have more defense than a fucking wall?!
Regardless, Francis melted the tar down and used it to fix the arena roof. He's so handy. The next opponent was...
...dead. Welp, that takes care of that.
I am rich enough to foreclose a hundred orphanages.
Just one more invitational or two, and we will officially be the best! However...
What now? I'm busy rubbing my money against my supple body.
Anyway... Francis is getting on in the years. I'm not sure he'll be able to make it to the next tournament. Plus he has that Henger mark. But if we get a new monster, we'll have to start all over again from E rank.
So basically we have to decide if we want to finish off these super tournaments with Frank, or use his body to raise a killer robot, and push him to the top as quickly as possible using all my amassed wealth. This is a very big, final-sounding decision. I wonder what we should choose...