Part 47: Scaling the Scraper (2)
So, funny thing. We won't be reaching the 100th floor this update. We'll go to pretty much every other floor besides the 100th floor it feels like, but not the 100th floor proper.
Anyway, welcome to the final dungeon of Mother 3.
The first floor of this area we'll be visiting is a rather chill place, actually.
You see, there are hippos here.
This is the wonderful Hippo Pool. Here, you can swim with Hippo Launchers, gaze at Hippo Launchers, and observe Hippo Launchers eating. You can even fight them! That's dangerous, though.
Hippopotami that have been fancied-up and equipped with powerful missiles. Incredibly popular, even among women and senior citizens. Improvements to create household pet versions are currently underway.
Of course, since this is Porky and all, these aren't ordinary hippos. No, these guys are loaded with missiles.
Hippo Launchers are a bit unique. First, unlike most enemies in the game, they don't try to attack you. You have to actually go up to them and press A to fight them.
Second, there are actually two kinds of Hippo Launchers, though both look identical. The ones in the water have 50% or so more HP.
Otherwise, they're hippos. That launch missiles. You kinda know what you're getting with these guys.
Siren Beetle makes them much simpler, of course. And since there's a station to restore HP and PP, you can grind here a bit if so inclined, though there are later areas that work just as well.
If only I had research funding, I could improve the Hippo Launchers even more and more. Would you like to know how I'd improve them?
Either answer gives you the same response, except No adds a line, so...
Oh, c'mon, hear me out. I'd make it so Hippo Launchers can brush their teeth on their own, go to the bathroom at night before bed, and fetch the newspaper. You know, those kinds of improvements.
After a bit of swimming around, we reach this guy.
It appears that you guys appear to be suspicious guys. I- I- I- I'll beat you up good!
This is the land version with less HP. I beat it up, punched it out big time, kicked its butt, bit its head off, spit in its eyes, and made it wet its pants.
This is Duster's ultimate weapon. They're probably very stylish, too.
In the middle of this hippo-infested water, you can grab some Grilled Chicken just floating here. I'm not the first nor will I certainly be the last to make a joke about the odd places you can find items in RPGs.
Some idiots have been seen pretending to be sea monkeys in the middle of a pond. Wahahahahaha! I'm talking about you guys! Getting all covered in mud so you can fight for your lives... It's all so ridiculous! *snicker* Alright, then. Get on the next elevator. I think I'm gonna sit back and watch even more of your stupidity in action. Come on! Don't give up! You're so close to the real 100th floor now! Ahahahahaha!
To be fair to Porky, this probably isn't just mud we're covered in.
Next up is a room with some rather funky music.
And a room full of what must be blind women.
The loot also sucks in this room.
We can also get some oxygen if we desire. And I desire.
Can you guys put your hands to your chest and say from the bottom of your heart,
Then quit lurking around and get out of here.
And if we're deluded enough to say yes:
Alright, then. Please make yourselves at home.
I'm too lazy to make three more sprites for these one-shot NPCs that have one line each so here's three screenshots of dialogue instead.
The detestable Lucas and his pals appear to be lost in Master Porky's fan room. Hehehehe. Attention, Lucas and friends! Attention, Lucas and friends! Come to the real 100th floor immediately, if you dare! Ahahahahaha!
Anyway, this was just a small diversion with nothing else of note. Moving on up.
The next area is pretty unique. The song name kinda gives away the gimmick of this level.
Yes, this floor of the final dungeon is a series of restrooms. Of course, interrupting people using the restroom is a proud Mother tradition, so it's only fitting that the restrooms receive tribute.
And of course, many of these are occupied!
Including by Pigmasks. This guy's a joke at this point.
But it's a good excuse to use our Trivia Cards! These can be answered by human enemies, namely the Pigmasks. As far as I can tell, there's no way to actually find the questions to these. Also, not all types of Pigmasks will guess the correct answer to each trivia card. Different types know different answers.
Fortunately, the Major knows the answer to Trivia Card 1. I'll leave it up to you guys as to what the actual question was as a fun thread activity, but in actuality this is a reference to the somewhat-misguided ad campaign for Earthbound, complete with smelly scratch-and-sniff cards. Still mad I lost that strategy guide somehow.
No crap, we just beat the crap out of the guy crapping here.
Could you save it for later?
In each corridor, one door will lead to the next section. For the first area, it's the far left door.
Majors know the answers to Cards 1 and 4, but not 2 and 3. You'll have to wait until the next update until you can learn the answers to Cards 2 and 3. Of course, since you don't know the questions on those cards, you probably don't care.
Anyway, let's get back to the important matter at hand: admiring clean toilets.
You'll also have people rushing to the bathroom. Probably because this floor accounts for 95% of the bathrooms in New Pork City.
We can also fight a Men's Room Sign. For some reason, we don't fight Women's Room Signs. And don't get me started on the other genders.
It's got a good chunk of HP, but its attacks aren't anything to write home about. Well, its physical attacks, at least...
It does happen to know PK Starstorm, which, of course a Men's Room Sign knows it. At any rate, you probably should take these guys down quickly. I've also seen them use PK Counter.
A duck type.
One corridor just has your party admiring a variety of toilets. The world of defecation is so wonderfully diverse.
This is a bathroom! What the heck's your problem?! What're you doing in here, anyways? All in a big group, no less.
Hey, we just happen to be toilet enthusiasts. Please, don't stress about us admiring the toilet you're on. You're not in the way or anything. Though we don't have any problem either if you want to finish your business and go on your way soon. Just saying.
Well, this won't do at all. I can't even see the toilet in here.
We're friendly ghosts who used to live the easy life in Osohe Castle. But some Pigmasks crammed us all in here the other day.
People give ghosts the cold shoulder whenever they don't seem mean.
The correct answer for Trivia Card 4 is "The Civil War." Again, you probably know the question on this card better than I.
The Red Collar is Boney's ultimate armor, giving him +50 in Offense and Defense. It also makes him look classy.
Hmm? I'm jumping and flopping around because I want to. Don't worry.
Next area, more people with poor bladder control.
Thank god I'm such a fast runner! I made it just in the nick of time!
Ahem. I'm trying to read.
Look at the walls... Look at the door... What else was there to do, again?
For whatever reason, this one just happens to be mixed in with all the others, but I'll have you know this is MY personal thunderbox! It is NOT for everyone else!
I don't care, I just want to look at your toilet.
I wish I could work on a toilet.
This guy, he gets me.
Oh yeah, there's one toilet that's a wee bit dangerous to access.
For you see, there's an Ultimate Chimera in the bathroom. Yeah.
You want to retreat into the next bathroom, which is the pathway to the next corridor, and wait for the Ultimate Chimera to bust out.
After that, run back in there and grab the Awesome Ring. It's a slight defense downgrade for Lucas, but like the Awesome Crown it gives 30PP extra, so it's worth equipping. And the toilet? Still fine.
Eventually, we make it to the end of this delightful romp.
And the fond memories and experiences I experienced in the hall of bathrooms are instantly ruined.
Did you enjoy my special all-you-can-pee toilet dungeon? Now, then! I have some sad news for you! This place you're at now isn't really the 100th floor! It's a fake! Ahahahahaha! You're nothing but a cheap toy crawling around in the palm of my hand!
Heh heh. Board the elevator just ahead.
In a way, this toilet is the most sympathetic character in the game. I can't imagine a tyrannical Porky's diet being that good for plumbing.
Next up is a floor whose only purpose is to answer a question you may have had.
That is, what is the deal with Locria, the final Magypsie?
And then make it to the REAL 100th floor!
Before we do that, let's visit Locria's house.
So, uh... as you may have guessed from the horns and multitude of bananas lying around...
Yep, Locria, the final Magypsie whose Needle we are currently seeking out, the one who betrayed the others and exposed the secret of the Needles to Porky, is none other than complete jerkwad Fassad.
Anyway, let's get Fassad's razor and lipstick.
These gift boxes are nothing but Luxury Bananas and one Ancient Banana. I don't have the room for all of these things, though.
(I don't think Locria is coming back anymore. Oh, me? I'm a mouse Locria liked to dote over. He had a creepy "Nwehehehehe" laugh, so he might've seemed like a mean person in most people's eyes, but he was very nice to me, at least. Do you think he'll be coming home soon? I'm so lonely.)
Sorry, but no. No, game, you're not going to make me sympathize for Fassad, the guy who in Chapter 3 showed no qualms in torturing Salsa for the fun of it and constantly threatening to kill his girlfriend. The guy whose only character development was "Got increasingly pissed at Lucas after he keeps beating the crap out of him."
I honestly don't know if this is meant to be sincere or if it's supposed to be a parody of "last minute redemption of the big bad" thing that many other forms of media do. The former just feels like such a giant misstep in a series that usually avoids them well in its stories that I can't help but feel this is more a joke than a sad attempt to redeem Fassad.
Edit: Goons understand this part better than I, so I'll let them sum this up in case you're dumb like me.
You'll be pleased to know that that's not what they were going for at all. The mouse is just to show that Locria had it in him to be a good person but then he went bad. And he went sooo soooooooooo bad too. The mouse doesn't even realize that it's basically defending Locria like an backhanded compliment. 'He might've seemed kinda evil but he was always nice to me though!' That doesn't help, mouse.
At any rate, we have a fat kid to beat up.
Next up is a construction area. Another place to heal up, at least.
Which is good, because there's several new enemies on this floor.
First up, the Boa Transistor.
It can poison, it can inflict strangeness, and it can attack. Its HP is low, though.
It can also summon more foes to take you down. More on these guys in a bit.
Next up, the K9000.
The K9000 can release mini-mecha dogs at three characters for decent damage.
It can also bring people to tears.
Next up, the Rhinocerocket Mark II.
The Rhinocerocket Mark II can do the "Attack everyone once, turn around, and attack them again the other way in the same turn" thing that the first one can do. That's really all I've seen from it besides lamer regular attacks.
You're interfering with the construction, but I welcome you just the same!
Let's say you tackle this guy.
Then this happens and he becomes a bridge.
If not, then get lost, okay?
You know, it'd be pretty terrible if someone where to tackle you right now...
There's loot in the top room, so let's visit.
What're you talkin' about, you jerk?! Even if I was afraid of 'em, it's not like I can just quit any time I want! That's what it means to be a father!
This is a pizza that's a favorite. Restores 250HP. Enjoy!
Also enjoy this PSI. Fire Omega does around 300 damage for 40PP to all enemies. Honestly, this is really terrible because for 8PP more you can do over twice that with Starstorm. Even hitting a weakness won't be enough to overcome that, and that's even before considering that at this stage of the game most enemies are going to be weak to Thunder from here on out, all ten-ish of them left to go through. I certainly hope the game didn't expect you to hit L53 with Kumatora before picking up Starstorm at the end of Chapter 7, because that's the only time this would be useful.
PSI Counter Omega is useful for countering powerful PSI. It's a step up from Counter because Defense Up won't affect PSI attacks, and for the higher attacks it'll do solid damage.
The last new enemy on this floor is the Love Walker.
I don't know what all attacks it does outside of regular ones, Fire Omega, and Counter Omega.
I do know it's a good excuse to show off Fire Omega. I know, I forgot to show Freeze Omega, I'll do that soonish.
So, this thing has a 1/32 chance of dropping the Goddess Ribbon, the ultimate head gear for Kumatora and Boney. And hey, guess what I got in my first fight with them?
I give it to Kumatora because she knows PSI and Boney doesn't.
I forgot to talk to this guy before ramming into him. I'm sorry for my poor manners.
Pulling of this lever by anyone other than construction personnel is forbidden.
Amateurs like you could never hope to understand how complicated this job is!
An arrogant construction worker standing on one end of a raised platform next to a machine that will do something dangerous if I mess with it.
I think we all know what's going to happen here.
And yet, it does not disappoint.
Near the end of this floor is Kumatora's ultimate weapon. Everything is ultimate in this dungeon, of course.
Some idiots have snuck onto the construction site and are causing loads of trouble.
Come on, now. How about you actually try to come to the 100th floor already? You're really starting to irritate me! You're making my dentures itch like crazy! Get on the next elevator already!
Just imagining this is so disgusting I'm going to quit this update immediately.