Part 49: Revelations and Reunions (1)
We're coming close to the end. If you think things have been weird so far, well...
Next up is this long nondescript hallway. It's only notable in that it's very long, and that the song that plays is a direct remake of the intro theme for Mother 1. Be sure to take some time to listen and appreciate it.
Then get ready to really appreciate the following:
LISTEN TO THIS:
This is essentially the theme song of the entire series, serving as the overworld theme for the first part of Mother 1 and making tiny appearances here and there in Earthbound. It's pretty damn great.
And it serves as great background music for the following tour.
If you've played or are very familiar with Earthbound, you probably recognize most if not all the landmarks here. I'm not gonna waste time going into each one since I've got a lot to cover, but it's pretty clear that these things are pretty important to Porky, showing that beneath that fearsome exterior, perhaps there still resides some fondness of that world-saving neighbor of his. After all, he treasured that yoyo so much.
There's a place to save and heal up here.
There's also this pencil-shaped statue sitting here. If only there was a way to erase it.
We're almost to the end. This hallway leads to the final room of the Empire Porky Building.
I'm really just this meek little boy.
Please talk to me like good boys and girls.
You're a monster. No!
Meet the Mecha Porkies. Individually, they're not too bad, with each having a mere 865 HP. The problem is we're fighting five of them. Once the first two go down, PORKY 04 and 05 will jump in.
Because we're fighting a lot of enemies and the battlefield is constantly changing, debuffs aren't that useful, even the Omega versions. Also, each PORKY has a PSI Counter that, while you could Shield Snatch each one, takes too much time and effort to do, so you want to avoid PSI unless it can bypass shields, like the Thunder line. Of course, Thunder hits random targets so it's not always the best thing to use.
That said, this battle is where Super Bombs shine. You might as well use all your explosives here.
The Porkies do unimpressive damage with physical attacks. Defense Up/Shield is still handy as always.
The big thing is that each time a Porky is defeated, the party takes 80ish damage. Enough that you want to be careful not to kill them all at once, and enough that you want to stay away from Thunder which might kill two at the same time. Of course, Lifeup Omega makes this kind of a non-issue.
Once one Porky is destroyed, PORKY 04 jumps in. PORKY 05 will also jump in after.
Anyway, once you kill PORKY 05, that's it.
By that, I mean that's it for the first five Porkies. Next up is PORKY 06, and he brought friends!
They're pretty weak friends. I don't know if they're completely random or what.
Every time you kill a non-PORKY enemy, the PORKY summons another, so you might as well take out PORKY first. Most of the time, the other enemies will be non-issues anyway.
Most of the time.
Next up is PORKY 07. Don't freak out.
Once PORKY 07 is dismantled, the other enemies are all that's left.
Well, other than PORKY 08, 09, and 10.
What, you think we were gonna fight a series of robots without a musical group jumping in to save our butts?
Dramatic climaxes are when unruly dudes like us get to shine!
Seems this Master Porky guy was trying to use us to brainwash everyone... I say it's high time we screw up his idiotic plans!
Hah! We ain't gonna let this Porky freak have his way!
We're gonna make you pay for all the bad stuff you've done! Get ready! It's punishment time!
And that finally ends the battle.
Lucas. This is it... This is finally it...
And randomly Flint is here now.
Hmm. I suppose it doesn't matter either way. Right, Duster?
Also, Wess, Bronson, Alec, Lighter, and Fuel are here for some reason.
And also Dr. Andonuts, why not.
Come a little closer so I can see your face better...
A traveler who has journeyed to and from past and future.
...Master Porky Minch!
I welcome you once again, you weak hangers-on pretending to be the last survivors of this world!
This is the actual Porky Minch. He's definitely not the kid he once was.
You resorted to blanking your memories to create a new world where humanity's past failures would never be repeated... How stupid can you be?! No matter how much you change the rules, no matter how much you refuse to admit defeat, in the end, the creatures known as "people" will always sign their own death warrant by acting out of stupidity and evil. And then... mankind will be gone for good. You could've been happy, if only you would've done as I did and obediently followed the visionary, selfish desires of a great hero... *wheeze* *wheeze* *wheeze* *gasp* *gasp*
Yes, we're being lectured on the inherent evils of mankind from Ness's obnoxious jerk neighbor.
Why is it you struggle to cling to life with such puny minds, pitiable bodies, and feeble hearts?
The curtain is about to fall on this pathetic little play of yours. Because, soon, the power of power will be mine. The world and everything in it has been my oyster so far, and now I'll end it all by acquiring the ultimate power.
*cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* Whew... Though everything so far has been fun and games, I've given you many a concession.
But, now that we're face-to-face like this, I won't hold anything back.
And, the moment he does, the Dragon should awaken and do as I want. At which time, I assume you fools will turn into garbage or dust or something and finally disappear for good. Ahahaha. I'll admit, that is kind of sad. But I would be crushed under the weight of boredom if it were any other way.
*wheeze* *wheeze* *wheeze* *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* Do you understand now?
Ahahaha. Aha ahahaha. *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough*
Oh! You love your little dramatic plays, so this couldn't have come at a better time for you!
Waha... Waha... Wahahahahaha!
Why not go and check it out then? I'm even being fair enough to tell you where it is. That really will make this game all the more fun! But I think I'll use my shortcut to give myself a head start, if you don't mind! Ahahahahahahaha! *cough* *cough* *cough* *wheeze* *wheeze* *gasp* *gasp* Bring it on! If you can catch up to me, that is! Here, you can use this elevator all you want!
To be fair, falling to our deaths is still preferable to listening to Porky continue to rant any longer.
It's now just the party and Flint, alone in this weird cavern.
But you haven't been a playable character since Chapter 1, and this is the end game. The enemies here will beat you alive. You can't go on, pops.
But if it seems like I've been gone a long time, then go ahead and keep going.
...He doesn't stand a chance.
Do we have any choice?
Yes. We have the choice to not go, and stay here, in this hopeless dark place, for the rest of our lives.
But that's not the Lucas we know, is it?
This place is pretty dull until
Near the end of this section, Kumatora picks up PK Thunder Omega, which casts four shots of Thunder that can go through shields/counters.
Anyway, this section has a save frog and a hot spring in a box. A nice place to regroup before we tackle the rest of the area.
The last section of the game takes place in this area that's eerily reminiscent of Earthbound's final dungeon.
This is one of the last two regular enemies in the game. It has a mere 712 HP, being able to be knocked down in a round of attacks. It also has a 20% chance of dropping Magic Pudding.
It only has two attacks, the usual mediocre physical and a lightning attack that hits three characters for mediocre damage (except Lucas, who has that Franklin Badge). They're no threat, honestly.
Also, here's Freeze Omega in action.
Anyway, I do something I haven't done all game: I grind.
You see, my characters are L57. Lucas learns his final PSI technique at L58, while Kumatora learns hers at L60. Might as well learn them so I can show them off.
This is Lucas's, Refresh. It costs 20PP and works similarly to Regen in the Final Fantasy series.
It gives the entire party a refreshing sensation.
Also, each time a character takes a turn, they gain a small amount of HP for the next five or so rounds. It's not much, but it's mainly useful to save characters who get mortally wounded.
Kumatora's final PSI is PK Ground, which costs a whopping 43PP but actually doesn't get overshadowed by Starstorm since it can do percentile damage.
The Fenomenos are immune to Thunder and Ground, so I'll show those two off later.
The final regular enemy of the game is the Minerali. It has 924 HP, high defenses, and a 10% drop of Lifenoodles.
It has decently strong attacks, including one that hits three people, but nothing impressive.
...It seems things didn't go well for poor Flint.
Lucas... He's your brother... Claus. I don't know why he's obeying this Porky guy, but as a father, I've finally found the son I lost.
Here's the final twist of the game, and one most of you have likely figured out by now. The Masked Man is Claus. The game hints pretty heavily, between both Claus and the Masked Man knowing PK Love and being able to pull the needles, and the Pigmasks mistaking Lucas as their commander, and even them wearing the same color pants. Plus, it's a video game where both a family member goes missing and you meet a mysterious antagonist with no background.
We can talk to Flint some more.
The final Needle... Lucas... Make sure YOU pull it. I'll catch up with you in a bit...
He'll repeat this several times before saying...
Don't worry about me. Just hurry to the Needle! I'm fine. I'm not hurt too bad. No, Claus didn't do this to me. I tried to fight the "Porky" that's inside him.
Then he'll repeat the Needle line some more. Of course, Itoi being Itoi, he snuck a little easter egg if you pester Flint enough times.
Geez, you're persistent. You're wondering about my hair, aren't you?
And talk to him one more time...
What's that? "Bald as a bean" is a dumb way of putting it?! When did you become such a bitter person?!
At which point, he'll repeat the Needle line.
Hey, I found it interesting.
There's one more detail about this cave...
This is Lucas's ultimate weapon. +100 Offense and a bonus 50 PP. An artifact from someone's past, perhaps?
Some more cave navigation and a few more enemies, until...
*cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* This really is no time for games anymore. I don't feel like letting you go any further. If you're after the Needle, then don't worry. My adorable little monster is on its way to it as we speak. *wheeze* *wheeze* *gasp* *gasp*
Its name was Claus?! That almost sounds like a person's name! But now it's my robot. Not even a fragment of life remains inside it. It's Master Porky's slave robot! It does whatever I say! It acts on my will alone. It's my double.
This is Porky. But you probably knew that by now.
Porky has a PSI Counter shield at the beginning, and he'll randomly reapply it in addition to whatever other attack he does that round, so don't rely too heavily on PSI attacks.
Of course, buff/debuff as usual. Shield's useful as always.
Porky will do something so pathetic that party members will burst into tears. Healing Omega can be handy here.
He did a weak multi-target attack!
He can also debuff the entire party's offense AND defense in one round. More of an annoyance than anything.
Thunder Gamma/Omega has a fancier animation, so here it is.
PK Ground can range between 2% and 13% of an enemy's HP. Considering Porky has 6569HP... This is pretty damn good.
Do enough damage, and Porky will start talking.
No matter how much you attack me, I'll never die. Even if I somehow wind up beaten, I'll never die. Bet you didn't know that, did you?
Porky actually didn't use much dangerous attacks. He's kind of a plot-battle pussycat, at least for me.
Who knows, I might be 1000 years old, or even 10,000 years old. But, despite that, I'm still the same kid at heart! Is that funny? It is, isn't it? Does it make you laugh? *cough* *wheeze* Are you laughing at me?
He can also absorb HP.
He can also get beat up an awful lot.
*cough* *gasp* *cough* Even so, I'll be alive. Me and the Dragon will be the only things left alive in the whole wide world! I'm more than ready for that possibility. Ahaha ahahahahaha! *cough* *cough* *gasp* *wheeze*
After another round of abuse...
I'm actually a pretty nice guy, wouldn't you say? Aha ahaha.
That...is slightly more dangerous.
Of course, that's right before I dismantle him for good.
Ahaha. Lucas... You haven't won, just so you know.
When I'm inside, no attack will have any effect on me whatsoever. I'm sure you're thinking to yourself, "Yeah, right. There's no such thing as "absolutely"..." But there is such a thing... And it's this!
Me! ME! All for me! *cough* *cough*
Now we have to battle the Absolutely Safe Capsule.
It has perfect defense and infinite HP.
It also has zero offense.
Combos won't work.
Even our strongest PSI is useless.
Because Porky is sealed inside the Absolutely Safe Capsule, the battle is, by definition, over.
Looks like we lost this one.
As evil as old Porky here is, I feel bad for him now. It's true that the "Absolutely Safe Capsule" that the Mr. Saturns and I developed together can protect one from every manner of danger.
Even what's outside of the Absolutely Safe Capsule is absolutely safe. I did tell Porky in a hushed voice that he shouldn't use it yet... But all he can do now is live for eternity inside the capsule, in absolute safety.
What do you think?
In a way, this is probably the cruelest thing you can ever do to a person. Porky is forever trapped in this thing, unable to ever again interact with the rest of the world. Even should the world and universe end, there will still be Porky, remaining safe for the rest of eternity. Eventually the reality will sink in for him, and he'll realize he's trapped in a sphere-shaped hell of his own creation. Can you imagine how horrible such a reality would be for a person? Does anyone deserve such a horrible punishment, even such a horrible person as Porky?
Sure, why not. You did good, Andonuts.
I somehow get the feeling it is.
At any rate, Porky is finally dealt with and will no longer be a threat to anyone.
Shame we won't get to be there once he realizes just what he got himself into.
Sure, Andonuts may have trapped a stupid kid into a life of eternal loneliness, but he's not above having fun with the situation. I mean, can you blame him?
Anyway, we still have a needle to pull. It's time to do a few last-minute things to prepare.
Hi! It's me, the friendly item storage man! I can't believe I made it all the way here, too. Anyway! How can I help you?
This is your last chance to get your items in order. There is an optimal set-up you should do, but I'll go into that later.
There's still enemies in the rest of this path. As long as you're healed up, they'll pose no threat.
Up ahead is another save frog, but he's no ordinary frog...
It's been such a short time, though it seems long, too. In any case, thank you for your continued patronage throughout it all. For me, and all the other frogs, I thank you. *hop* *teardrop*
Even the final hotspring has some special music.
Next time, we face the final boss: Claus.