Part 7: A Singularity of Dorks7. A Singularity of Dorks
As per usual, the world looks a whole lot better after the boss is dead. Mystic Quest does a pretty good job of showing you how borked the world was before Shrug waltzed into this destiny business.
The Battlefield below the Ice Pyramid has a unique background after the snow has melted. Im pretty sure this is the only instance of this. The reward here is 540 EXP so phooey to that.
I really like the look of Aquaria once its been healed.
I sort of feel like its a bad idea to build a tunnel under your house but okay.
By tunnel, did you mean huge waterfall??
I dont know why the Falls Basin theme gets reused so often but this is the second of three places well be hearing it.
Spencers Place is just a little too big for it to be inoffensive. Its like just short of a minute walk to and fro. Why cant I ride the waterfall down, at least? That still wouldnt be the dumbest thing Shrugs going to do today.
But heres Grandpa Spencer with his big bushy eyebrows that probably prevented him from freezing to death, just hanging out.
Phoebe and I restored the Crystal of Waters light.
Then youre the Knight in the Prophecy! The shield has found its owner!
This perplexes Shrug for some reason.
A shield used by a Knight in days gone by. Captain Mac found it.
For years Macs been studying a Prophecy. On his way back from doing some research, the lake dried up and his ship ended up on a rock ledge. But thats no problem. If we dig from here, well be able to reach the ship.
This is the dumbest plan Ive ever heard in my life.
Anyway, heres a key. The shield is hidden in the Focus Tower.
And now after all that jabbering you dont even have the shield to give me? Your granddaughter is way cooler than you.
I guess theres no better place than underground to feel tremors like that???
This is a pretty big river, guy, Im inclined to believe that you found the ocean or something.
This Battlefield is our last stop in Aquaria. Youll be fighting Phanquids here for the most part, with the occasional Sphinx popping in to annoy you. The Knight Sword will make short work of everything here, provided youre a higher level than I am right now.
Im not sure if Im just unlucky, but I feel every time I ran into a Sphinx and a Phanquid they got to ambush me and getting confused can really drag this Battlefield out.
But this is our reward! Its going to be incredibly convenient for Shrug because later dungeons are going to be a pain in the ass to walk back through.
It also lets you kill trash enemies like this instantly. You wont get any reward for it, but it makes a real satisfying noise and its a great way to get rid of something you know is going to piss you off with confusion or whatever.
If youre doing a low-level run of this game, then Exit is invaluable.
Youll find Freezer Crabs and Gathers here. The reward is 429 EXP but Gathers let you glitch the game in a way that you can have around 256 fights before you get a reward.
It takes more setup than Im really willing to do for grinding, but in case you want to try it yourself:
Fight until you have 1 battle left to go, reduce your health to a point that a Gathers Selfdestruct will kill you but still effectively win the battle. Reload and win normally, then rejoice.
There are other little temples here and there. Between that last Battlefield and the Focus Tower is the Wintry Temple. It is totally and completely useless.
Much like this guy.
...well, what was the news?
My thoughts exactly.
Oh hell yes. This is the shield that Spencer was talking about and it is awesome. Most importantly, it prevents paralysis. While our party members will still have to deal with it, at least Shrug and friend wont have to pitifully wait for death if theyre both immobile. We get a little more evasion and speed with it too so its a good day to be Shrug.
And a new spell thats conveniently strong against the enemies in the place were headed to next? How fortunate!
Heres what the statue was for if you were still curious, mysterious old man.
Hmm, this place seems like it sort of sucks.
And I was right! Its a bit hard to tell, but the ground shakes every time we go to a new square. This gets old real fast.
For whatever reason, Fireburg gets a much more upbeat mix than all of the other towns in the game. I guess someone realized that this place is the worst and needed some form of redemption.
This sounds like something that happens all the time, frankly.
In the last house on the bottom left, Shrug finds this nice lady all too willing to just part with her Battle Axe.
Are you related to a woman in Aquaria, by any chance?
Unfortunately, the reign of the Knight Sword doesnt last very long. If youre at all a decent level, unlike me, this will probably be stronger than the Jumbo Bombs.
Suddenly the lock thing from earlier makes much more sense.
At this point you can basically snap the game in half over your knee because nothing can stop you if you have a good stock of seeds on hand.
Next to the hotel is Reubens house.
This does not bode well for Shrugs next conversation.
Shrug knows the deal by now and just wants to get out of here.
I cant deal with that now. Ive got to help Dad.
Well, why dont you let me help you!
I know where this is going, lets get this over with
Hes stuck behind a boulder.
Oh, well, fuck it then.
Thered be no problem if we had a Mega Grenade, but only Dads friend can use them.
Wheres the guys house?
In this town, but hes shut himself in.
Of course itd be in this town, you moron, thats not what he was asking.
Well pay him a visit anyway. Come on!
Reuben is easily the worst party member. Im not even talking about just this game. Hes the worst party member period. Think of any game you want. Reuben is worse.
He can hit a single enemy really hard. Thats it, thats every good thing about Reuben. Hes got the HP of level 26 so thats great too? Theres honestly just nothing to say about him.
You might have noticed that he has the same resistances as Phoebe. Well, not really. Due to a bug, new party members just get the previous members resistances until you do a hard save and reset. Ordinarily, Reuben is resistant to Fire. ...and thats it. I mean, dont get me wrong, a Fire resistance is definitely helpful here but its just sort of sad that he has nothing else.
This bug also influences stats to a degree. With Phoebes resistances, he has a little less defense and is less evasive, but hes a bit faster.
On a different note, I think this is the lowest level Ive ever gotten to Fireburg with. Huh.
Reuben wasnt kidding about this dudes house being locked, but fortunately we know a guy who can open any lock.
And why would you live next to a pool of lava?
We went to the house in the pit, but the guy wouldnt let us in.
You two want in? Then take this.
You wanna break into some guys house? Aight
Ha ha, wow, youre an awful friend.
My dads friend is the only one who can use them? Apparently its not very hard. Im pretty sure Reuben was told this because theres no way he wouldnt just blow up his hand.
We already have a weapon better than our new Battle Axe. Well, against single targets, anyway. Spreading out the damage is as detrimental as ever. This is the last of the bomb family as well!
Lets go save a dad.
Next time: All of the awesome loot in the world wont make up for having to deal with you, Reuben
So heres a question, thread. Since Reuben is missing his Fire resistance, which is the only other good thing about him, the upcoming areas might be a bit more challenging though I cant guarantee that. So: take away his Fire resistance and make the next areas a little more interesting or let him keep it and play through normally? I know it's kinda a silly choice, but whatever!