Part 110: Episode CIII: BeepyEpisode CIII: Beepy
Music: Junk Heap Field
"Right, so Sunshine, Cyclops, the Book, and Chuckles went to go visit the Junk Heap for the next stupid key thing. To heh...paraphrase..."
"Hey, seen any Shades? I can't get hard anymore unless I murder Shades. Long story."
"Naw. My brother got smashed by a robot so I hate robots now. A robot killed him! Totally a robot! FUCK robots. No...no it wasn't my own stupidity that killed him... It was goddamn machines! By the way, would you like to see my selection of goods, sir...?"
"Hey wait, hold up! I got this big ol' sword I can give ya. It's kinda broken but I could probably fix it pretty easily if you...well, I don't know... Go kill one of the most powerful robots in the basement of the robot filled mountain complex. That'd be super swell! Here, you can even have the sword for free!"
"Well, an unusually colorful butterfly would drive me off task from saving my daughter, so count me in!"
(Shh! These things happen the second time around.)
And so everyone shuffled into the Junk Heap to go gather some crap to fix the sword. I'll just let this next part play out...
The gang leaves the Junk Heap to return to the Two Brothers Weaponry... Meanwhile...
Music: This Dream
"A large seagoing vessel...that carries freight...and passengers...over bodies of water."
"Yaaay! You're so great. Beepy! You've learned so much!"
"You...have taught me much...Kalil. You...have helped to expand...my vocabulary. You...have instructed me...in the ways...of the outside world."
"Well, there's tons of stuff I don't know either. Maybe we should leave here and go explore the world!"
"Because we...are friends."
"That's right! Yay! It's gonna be fun!"
Back at the Gideon's shop...
"Thanks for smashing all those rob-I mean! Ergh...gathering the material. So uhh...seems like it's gonna take longer than expected to fix this sword. Go do another quest or something and I'll mail you a letter immediately after that. Bye!"
"'I should go gather ten melons now...just in case."
"So Whatshisface and the book went to the 'Forest of Myth' or some shit. Sunshine wasn't interested in tagging along and from I hear, there ain't much in the way of fun killin' anyhow. I got her to go stab some Shades wandering around in the plains in the meantime. She wouldn't punt Skeletor's beachball head though. I'll talk her into it eventually. Kah hah hah."
"Not sure what they did in there. Don't really care. Something 'bout a buncha words and trees. Heard a long time ago they set up some network with stored memories for the Gestalts in case they went all relapse nutty and it was time for everyone to get their bodies back. But feh...who gives a shit...? Moving on to the good parts!"
"After that Mr. Roidrage got a letter from Dr. Robotnik that his weapon was ready. Nice sword... Definitely had a long, fine history of bloodshed. I'd seen in before a few years back. Thing was broken into pieces. Damn shame. Kinda remember some scowling mute and his big dumb lizard friend looking for it too. Heheh. Doubt they were happy when they saw the sorry state it was in. Classic! Kah hah hah! Anyway, recapping a bit..."
"Here's your sword. Hey, think ya can go kill a robot for me? It's got a Shade hanging out with it. They totally killed my brother! Rip and tear! RIP AND TEAR!"
"ERGH... I'm popping a woody just thinking about slaying the Shade. It's killin' time!"
"And so the dopey crew went smashing their way through the Junk Heap and hundreds of robots to kill one Shade. I'd shat things bigger than that runt Shade. But World's Best Dad had his genocide boner working overtime and he was gonna curb stomp the thing ASAP. Admirable dedication. Kwahahah! Oh, here's the rest..."
Music: Deep Crimson Foe
"Good lord, it's enormous!"
"Intruder detected. Scanning... Scanning... Exterminating."
"Do it, Beepy! Beat 'em good!"
"Look at the Shade!"
"That thing is commanding the robot somehow!"
"Aim for the legs! Knock it down!"
"Take out the Shade!"
"You're gonna be destroyed if you keep fighting!"
"No! I can't live without you! I don't wanna to be alone again!"
"No! Dammit! That's a Shade. It's a Shade!"
"Kah hah hah hah hah! Kill him! KILL HIM! Feel the hate inside you!"
A robotic asskicking and transformation sequence later...
Music: The Dark Colossus Destroys All
Time for the second half of the battle. While all the attacks are identical to the original time we fought P-33, I should mention one detail regarding one of 'em.
The attack where the newly winged P-33 smashes into the ceiling... It's not just randomly ramming itself into the top of the arena to knock debris down on the gang. It's actually sticking its head in that small hole Nier and the party jumped down so its Shade buddy can escape to safety. That just happens to knock a bunch of crap down on the people trying to murder them.
"Escape, escape, escape, escape... Go...see the world-ld-ld-ld-ld."
"Wait! No! You can stop now!"
"Must protect... Must fight..."
"This bastard's pretty crafty for a robot."
"No mere robot can face the majesty of Grimoire Weiss!"
"I can't concentrate with all this bullshit fancy talk! Swat 'em down! I'm getting killed here!"
After another asskicking, Beepy makes one last ditch effort to make Kalil escape through the ceiling...
"Beepy! Stop! You're my best friend in the whole world! You gotta stop!"
The P-33 is down for the count at this point, so Kalil hops off his friend's head and tries to defend him.
His only "attack" being creating a bunch of doppelgangers which do next to no damage and die in a single hit, even on the first run through.
Kalil himself just runs away and hopes his robot buddy can regain functionality with the time bought.
No such luck, little guy. But nice work giving Weiss enough blood to work with so Nier can perform a sweet finisher to kill your best friend!
And that, ladies and gents, is a wr-
The malfunctioning robot crumples back to the floor...
"...mission... mission... mission... miiiisi....."
Music: Yonah ~ Piano
"I...I wanted...to be with you...forever."
"Kalil... Together... Beepy alone... Beepy...cry...?"
"You stupid machine! You killed my family! You took everything from me! Why did you have to be here!? Why you!? Why are you here!? Why!?"
"Kah hah hah hah! Beautiful! What a perfect example of humanity!"
"But he's dead! And it's this bastard's fault! And hitting it MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!! Just wait, you freak! You goddamn freak! I'm gonna explore this entire mountain now! I'll make terrible weapons! Killing machines! No one can stop me! Ah hah hah! AAAAAAAAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!"
Later, back on the surface...
"He doesn't know any other way."
"Revenge is a fool's errand."
The Junk Heap is seriously the worst damn place in this game on all fronts.
Beepy Highlights (Probably worth watching.)