Part 76: Episode LXXI: Despicable DeedsEpisode LXXI: Despicable Deeds
Music: Junk Heap Field
So at this point in the journey, there are no new objectives other than going to bug Popola for the umpteenth time. Yeah...I guess we could do that... But eh...those sidequests aren't gonna 100% themselves, are they?
Should Nier and the gang bugger off for a bit to go boar drift racing or play bongos with Emil's head while practicing for their garage band or whatever those goofs do on their down time, then return to the Two Brothers Weaponry, Gideon may have a new sidequest for Nier. Let's take a look...
Sidequest: The Shade Army
"Hey there. Looking pretty busy."
"Oh, yeah! It's great! Couldn't be better! ...Shades just took over the the second floor of the Junk Heap, is all."
"You don't seem too concerned."
"Doesn't matter! No one cares! Folks don't go in that far, so it doesn't really matter. Just makes it hard to gather material for my new weapons!"
"That's nonsense. I'm going in there and clearing them out."
"Heeee hee hee! Good luck! You ain't getting' very far!"
"Shades tore up all the elevator machinery on the first floor. Just ripped it up! Eee hee hee! If you wanna use it, you gotta switch out the parts!"
"Do you have the parts?"
"No, but I could make 'em if I had five broken batteries and five broken motors."
"All right. I'll get the stuff, and you make the parts. Deal?"
Luckily, both of those materials are fairly common drops and Nier already possesses more than enough of the required junk in his inventory. So, he can immediately hand it all over to our slightly crazed gearhead for the next leg of the quest.
"Killed some robots, didja? Eee hee hee! Killed 'em good! Ripped 'em apart! ...Well, lemme get to work on this."
A few hours later...
"Could you bash up a bunch of robots while you're in there? Just rip 'em apart! Kill 'em! Yeah! Yeah!"
"Eeee hee hee!"
Right, then. Another trek through the Junk Heap it is... Joy of joys. This particular trip is rather brief. The first floor of the Junk Heap is almost entirely abandoned, no doubt thanks to Gideon's frequent raids. So, it is a fairly clear journey to the busted elevator on the far side of the map. Going up!
The second floor of the Junk Heap is quite tight quarters and absolutely filled to the brim with about a hundred Shades. I guess they were planning on having some members only mosh pit up here. Time for the gang to break that noise up. They're clearly violating multiple fire codes.
"-manner of curse been placed on this mountain?"
"You don't see me complaining. If there's Shades to kill, I'm a happy man."
"Here come some more!"
"They are certainly dedicated to this attack."
The final room of this Shade club house is an utter clusterfuck where it's hard to tell what is going on just to the sheer carnage of murdering dozens of Shades every second. That said, it's pretty damn fun for how chaotic a brawl the whole affair proves to be.
Higher level armored Shades join the clash during the middle of the massacre. These guys are pains in the asses thanks to quick, unblockable rolling attacks they'll use to zoom around the area. Especially, when there are two or three of 'em at a time doing the same attack.
"Careful, my ass! I'll slice this guy apart!"
"Right. How assuring..."
Dozens and dozens of dead Shades later...
Looks like this party has been canceled. I'm sure Gideon will be happy to hear that. Or perhaps not...we might have to lie about decommissioning some robots along the way to please that nutter.
Returning to Gideon...
"Ah, thanks much, thanks very much! Now I can make my weapons even more powerful. And that means I can kill EVEN MORE ROBOTS! Eeee hee! Eeeeeee hee hee heeee!"
"Aren't you concerned about the Shades? I mean, one of those things killed your brother, after all."
"No they didn't! Liar! LIAR! Robots killed my brother, not Shades! Big nasty robots! Squashed him with a bridge! Gonna kill the robots! Gonna kill 'em all! Rip 'em up! Rip 'em all up! Eeee hee! Eeeeee hee hee hee! Isn't that right, Jakob? Right!? Eeee hee hee!"
"I fear the lad's mind is gone. He seems capable of nothing but hate for those mindless mechanical automatons..."
Oh well... At least he seems happy with bludgeoning robots to death. Plus he gave Nier 30,000 Gold for his trouble. I guess that is something. Not sure what he's always going on about with building weapons to kill robots. He's the only blacksmith in the game that never offers any new arms for sale... Anyhow, let's head back to the Village. There is one last sidequest to tackle back there...
Travelling back home...
Music: Song of the Ancients ~ Devola
This last sidequest for today takes Nier to a random villager hanging out in the market district of the village. One thing I like about NIER is that they really do use damn near every single NPC in the game for a quest or two at some point.
Sidequest: The Despicable Man
"Your boyfriend smelled rugged and handsome, huh?"
"Tee hee! Yeah, he did. Of course, that was a long time ago... Five years ago, poof! He just up and vanished. I keep waiting for him, but I have no idea where he went or if he's... Hey! Wait a second! You're that guy who does whatever people ask him to do, right!? ...Well then, go find my boyfriend!"
"Hey! People usually ask nicely! And I have no idea what your boyfriend looks like, much less where to find him."
"Well, he always wears this flashy gold necklace, so maybe you can start there. Um, please?"
"Wonderful. Off we go on a hunt for a man with a gold necklace. Not the strongest of leads, that's for sure..."
Lucky for Nier, there just so happens to be a sentry at the northern gate with a damn great memory for random jerks leaving town half a decade ago. Sure, why not...?
The Forest of Myth, huh...? Maybe we ought to pay it a visit... Please tell me there are no romance novel text adventures....
Traveling to the Forest of Myth...
It seems Mr. Armchair General and dismembered corpse story might have some insight into our missing disco medallion man.
"You know him?"
"You bet I do! Goddamn bastard ran off with my wife!"
"Wait a minute. I thought he had a girlfriend."
"If you find him, bring him back here so I can murder the bastard!"
"Yeah, I'll consider that. So do you know where he went?"
"Last I heard, he was heading for Seafront. Goddamn bastard. I can't even bear to look at my wife anymore..."
"Looks like he's trying to lose us. Off to Seafront, then."
"Just thinking about it makes me mad enough to KILL! ...Not you, of course. But maybe somebody."
To Seafront it is... Please do not tell me this jerk got a green card to Facade as well...
It appears that a young woman loitering about the central plaza of the town has some more info on our elusive lady's man.
"I know him very well, if you get my meaning. Grawl! I haven't seen him for almost five years, but I know he's coming back to me."
"You don't think that maybe he...left you? I mean, it's been five years."
"He did NOT leave me! He promised he'd come back, and I believe him! That man was honest, and he loved me! Not like that old husband of mine, let me tell you!"
"This man seems to have a gift for swindle. ...Especially with females."
"Sure seems like it."
"That man sold all kinds of neat merchandise, and his prices were so reasonable! I thought he was such a nice guy..."
The plot thickens. The mailman outside the post office seems to possess more intel on the shyster we're hunting.
Hmm... Beat it north...? What, to The Aerie...? Those jerks would go tell Mother Teresa to go get bent, much less some woman stealing con-artist. We're going to need more to go on than that...
It seems some dude catching some rays on top of the fishmonger's stand also remembers this d-bag we're after.
"Great. Now the Junk Heap? Maybe he ran into the two brothers."
Uhh...the Junk Heap... Five years ago... Womanizing asshole... Like to run off with women...? Oh...crap... I...I think we might have already "met" this guy...
Nier and the gang hop a boat to the Northern Plains...
"He's been cheating this whole time? That's just terrible!"
"It is the same with males of most species, I am afraid."
"Some men see cheating as a way to prove their own worth."
"What if a man did that to you, Kainé?"
"He'd wake up a little less man than he used to be."
"I can't stand cheaters."
Back to Doc Wily Jr. at the Two Brothers Weaponry...
"Hey, I've got a question for you. Do you remember seeing a guy with a gold necklace come around five years ago?"
"Sure do! My mom used to spend a lot of time with him."
"...Oh my god. He's the guy we found in the Junk Heap."
"Uh...nothing. Never mind."
"We can hardly keep this a secret from all parties, and yet I can't imagine how to begin telling them."
Nier quietly excuses himself from the joint...
"Yes, I suppose that would be the wisest plan of action."
Geez Louise, Cavia. I think the universe has shat on Gideon's crazy ass enough in Part 2 of the game. Did you really have to go retroactively add in that his mom was abandoning him and his brother with a conman that was probably just going to rob her blind and ditch her after a couple weeks had they not both gotten mashed by robots...? Sheesh!
On the way back to the Village...
"One could say it was his just punishment. Still, he was with a woman he loved at the very end. I trust his final moments were...happy ones."
"Who cares if he was happy? He's dead now."
"Then I fear the truth of the matter will always be a mystery to us."
Yeah...Weiss, I don't think you were paying very good attention to this sidequest. Though this somewhat lengthy investigation neglects to name our sleazebag despicable man, Grimoire Nier states his name was "Carlo" (named after Pinocchio's author, Carlo Collodi.) Gideon and Jakob's mother was named "Blue" (named after the Blue Fairy in Pinocchio.) Gideon is named after the swindling cat from the same book. Jakob's name was changed in translation from "Jiminy" (referencing the cricket of course.) Jakob itself is a reference to nothing. If I had to hazard a guess as to the name change, it's probably to avoid Disney lawyers having a stranglehold on even vague references to Pinocchio.
Returning to the client...
"You did? Where is he!?"
"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but he's dead. We found his body five years ago in the Junk Heap."
*Sniff* "...I had a feeling that might be the case. That's the only thing that could explain him not contacting me for so long. Thanks. I think I can move on with my life now. Here's a little gift for you. I appreciate you doing all that legwork for me. I can't just linger on him forever." <Nier receives 15,000 Gold>
Well...that was certainly... A thing... I uhh...think we ought to take a short break from sidequests. These haven't been going very well lately. Ergh...then again the main plot hasn't either... Hmph...