Part 5: Widebeard Tower and the Quest for Pirate Identification

We find ourselves at the grimy majestic Widebeard Tower.


Widebeard Tower theme:
Listen to it, it's one of the odder tracks in the game.

Visual identification of the shield:

: It shows a fiercely beardy man. I guess it's supposed to be Baron Widebeard.
Nee way am I picking that up, shields are for cowards.

Confirms this is the right spot. Let's head in.



Naturally. All right, let's see if there's anything around that could help us get into the tower.



: "This afternoon, Angelo Lightfoot will circumnavigate the globe."
It says it's organized by the Barony's Dignified Ladies Association...
And after, there's going to be a tombola.

I'm sure that sounds exciting and/or delicious. What about the graves?

: They're all dead Widebeards.
I could try and push them over, but today I'm feeling constructive.

What about the lone grave to the side?

: "J.M.Franklin" It has a skull carved on it.
I'd need a good reason to become a grave robber. Well... reasonable reason, at least.

So we can't even dig our way there. However...





: This is as far in as I can get, my crinoline's too wide for the window.
Yeesh!
This place makes my eyes ache.

But even if we could get in:

: That safe must be where the Baron keeps the pass to Saul Island.
It looks like a Lockheart Oren, they're notoriously difficult to crack.
I'll never get it open... I need the help of a more experienced thief.

So, back in the Barnacle Bar



: I can whip up a delicious ship's stew.

: That sounds delightful.

: The secret is adding jasmine just before the boil.

: ...

All right, let's get to the real reason we're here. Unfortunately, we'll never find out what a mainbrace is.

: Can you teach me the art of theft?

: I could be teaching the art of theft, but not to you.

: Why not?

: Y'ain't a pirate!

: Am so! Booty! Scurvy! Wenches! Ahrr!

: Ye be talkin' the talk, but where's your Pirates Guild Tattoo?

: My wha...?

: And let's have you recite the Pirates Oath!

: ...

: Bah, you be no pirate!

: Will you teach me if I prove I'm a pirate?

: Aye, I'd give you the secret that makes a great thief, but ye're no pirate.
Ye don't have the Guild Mark and ye don't know the Oath!

: What's the Pirates' Oath?

: The oath engraved on the soul of every buccaneer.

: Oh, THAT Pirates' Oath... Of course I know the Pirates' Oath.

: Well then recite it, girly.



: I know it, but I can't tell you.

: No, I know it, and I won't tell you.

: What's that about a Guild Tattoo?

: The ink that every pirate bears.

: What does it look like again?

: Like a butterfly fluttering past a unicorn.

: I have a tattoo just like that!

: ....

: Ah, you were lying.

Ass. Let's see if Friday is more helpful.


: Do you know the Pirates' Oath?

: Hmm...
Yeah, some old seafarer scratched it on the wall o'the Barnacle.

: Brilliant!

: Bad news is, it's in some kind buccaneers' code.

: What?

: Yeah, "piraglyphics" they call it.

: Can you read piraglyphics?

: No one can, the cipher's been lost for years now.

: Damn!

: Mind yer language, there are ladies present.

: Sorry...
Have you seen the Pirate Guild Tattoo?

: Oh sure.

: What does it look like?

: Well, a lot o'pirate tattoos are pretty ropey...
...but the guild tattoo does not go overboard...
...'tis no eyesore, nothing over the top...
...it's not dynamite...
...but it represents the black heart of every illiterate buccaneer!

: Can't you be more specific?

: No, that was perfectly clear.

: Thanks. Time to set sail.

: Bye now.

Well, we know where we're heading next, right?

: Can you tell me the Pirates' Guild Oath?

: Ve are knowing only Nautical Shopkeepers' Guild Oath

: the "no refunds" verse being my favourite.

: Do you know piraglyphics?

: The secret to piraglyphics was lost when Bloodbeard died.

: Oh, thanks anyway.
...
Do you have the Pirates' Guild tattoo?

: Sorry, I am not knowing vhat it looks like.

: Perhaps it is being on our rack of free-trial rub-on tattoos.




I was stuck on the next two puzzles for quite a while. First, we have to pick up the right free temporary tattoo to show to Captain Rehab. This puzzle can be brute forced, but I'll be impressed with your wisdom if you pick up the right one on the fist try.

Also, we have to figure out the secret of piraglyphics. Good thing we have Boodbeards' coot right there, and we recently picked up a bird-speak book.



: Let's give this a try...
Ahhem... Hello bird, can you understand me?

: Just barely, your accent is thicker than the slops at the Barnacle.

: Oh, sorry.

: I suppose you're another vulture looking for the treasure of Captain Bloodbeard.
Well I'm not going to tell you where it is!

: I'm not a vulture!

: You treasure hunters never understand... Booty wasn't important to Captain Bloodbeard, he was a beautiful man!

: I don't know, he had a seaweedy kind look to him this morning.

: What? You've seen Bloodbeard?

: Yeah, he sent me here.

: To investigate the missing spoonbeaks?

: Yes, exactly!

: My apologies... Sebastian. J. Coot at your service, miss Cootalot.

: How do you know my name?

: Before he danced the hempen jig-

: So 'tis the fate of us all...

: Bloodbeard told me of the one that would take his place... This is your destiny!

: If I fulfill my destiny, will I be rewarded in the afterlife?

: Ah... no.

: Is there a prophecy?

: Not exactly.

: A curse?

: No...

: Is there ANY reward?

: Yes! There's a special hat.

: Really?

: No.

: Tell me about Captain Bloodbeard.

: Our escapades took us from the lofty peaks of Cuddly Squirrel Island to the fearsome waves of Baby Goose Bay. He was a scoundrel, a cut-throat, a bearded-buccaneer, but honourable.

: Like me! Except for the beard. You must have had amazing adventures!

: Don't you doubt it!
One time Bloodbeard and me were locked in a cabin by a dastardly villain...
... but we escaped by sliding a paper under the door and pushing the key out of the lock with a pencil!

: That doesn't sound particularly amazing.

: No... it wasn't, actually.
Come to think of it, we used the newspaper-pencil escape in almost all our adventures. I can't think why.

(If there's an in-joke here, I'm not getting it)

: Have you seen the Pirates' Guild Tattoo?

: No I haven't. William Bloodbeard wasn't the type to stride around with no shirt on.

: Of course not.

: He was a trousers man...and he didn't have any tattoos below the waterline.

: Thanks anyway.
Do you know the Pirates' Oath?

: Sorry dear, I'm not a pirate. I know the Pirates' Familiars' Oath... but that's mainly about not crapping in cabins.

: Ah.

: I imagine the other one is basically the same... Sorry.

: Have you heard of piraglyphics?

: Of course! Piraglyphics are Bloodbeard's legacy, dear.

: You can read them?

: No, I'm afraid... birds can't read at all.

: Really?

: Yes, but don't tell anyone in my book club.

: Can you remember anything about piraglyphics? Anything that might be useful?

: Well, perhaps... but-

: Yes?

: Bloodbeard used to say a pirate called John Morton Franklin held the key to his code.

: Then I must find John Morton Franklin!

: That's the thing, there's no such pirate. It's just the name Bloodbeard used when checking into hotels. I remember he used to say that old John would take the secret of Piraglyphics to his grave.

: Weird...
Bye.

: Come back soon!

We know where we're headed now, right?



: Aha! A book.
This is just a reg'lar pirate phrase book... Wait... there's something scribbled inside the cover:
"Quick! Gold, silver and sea be the prize!"
This guy spells bad even for a pirate.

Using the phrase book with the graffiti, we find:



Figuring out what we need to do to solve the puzzle is simple. Being aspy smart enough to solve it at home and tell us what the Pirate Oath is would be highly impressive.