Part 2: House ArrestAlright, let's get this show on the road!
Last time we left Kent, he had been unceremoniously tossed back inside his apartment after a week spent in the horrific Blue Pens, with orders to leave his TV on 24 hours a day. So how is life in Kentville?
Our first look at the in-game engine. It's not all that bad, to be honest, though every object is a sprite, and most have only one angle of view.
Forgoing the typical SCUMM system-esque verb buttons, Normality is controlled by the so-called Voodoo System, brought up by right-clicking any named items. Kent can choose to use, open, look at, talk to, or pick up objects and characters in the game world.
The game's engine allows us to move around, either by left-clicking and dragging, or simply using the arrow keys. Fortunately the game includes a run option (by holding shift) which makes getting around some of the larger areas much less painful.
All in all, the controls actually hold up pretty well. This game doesn't feel anywhere near as clunky as I was expecting when I dusted the CD off for the first time in over a decade.
Also, to be honest, other than the graffiti on the wall, my apartment is in worse shape than Kent's is.
Kent's kitchen links directly to his bathroom via a gigantic, uncloseable door, because Neutropolis doesn't give a fuck about hygeine!
Not surprisingly, everything here is covered in mould, slime, or a combination of the two.
Still looking better than my apartment though.
After a week spent in the grueling Blue Pens, Kent is finally reunited with his beloved pecking bird toy.
Kent checks out the toy bird.
A nodding bird toy, very popular in the 1970's.
Ironically, also the last time this paint scheme was popular. Kent takes the toy bird.
OK, but if it pecks me, it's history!
Since this is an adventure game, Kent proceeds to take everything else not nailed down, including this jar of white paint that he has lying around for, presumably, no reason at all other than to increase his potential to make a huge mess.
Back out in the living room, Kent continues to reunite with his favourite possessions.
Nothing says comfy like a stained, lumpy old cushion!
Underneath the cushion, Kent finds his TV remote. I guess he put it there because the cushion wasn't lumpy enough by itself.
Right on cue, our TV cuts out and the Norm outside berates us. So not only do we need to keep the TV on 24 hours a day, we need to stay awake to keep turning it back on when it goes off.
I think I've figured out what the white paint is for. Kent is planning to slurp down the whole jar and call it a night.
It wouldn't be an adventure game without an inventory. Despite the limited page space here, you can accumulate plenty of items, an extra page is added if necessary.
Using the remote on the TV turns it back on again, temporarily placating the Norm.
Kent spies a flyer that has been slid under his door during his week away. What might it say?
An advert for a job at Plush-Rest. The note in the Blue Pens told Kent to get a job at Plush-Rest, the TV is currently showing an advert for Plush-Rest and now a flyer is doing the same thing. Either destiny is at work here, or Plush-Rest have the best mass-advertisement scheme in town.
Apparently Plush-Rest testers are an overweight bunch. Kent picks out an appropriate T-shirt for an interview.
It's an old T-shirt with "I AM FAT" on the front and "HONEST, REALLY" on the back.
Presumably Kent originally picked up this shirt because his disgusting apartment wasn't enough of a repellent to women by itself. He adds it to his inventory.
A whole factory full of obese sycophants sounds pretty dangerous to Kent, so he arms himself with his weapon of choice - plastic scissors.
Look at that bald patch! I'm sure the scissors were never that big!
Even Kent is making fun of this game's mediocre graphics.
Either our perspective is a mile off here, or those scissors were literally bigger than Kent's speakers.
Top class speakers these. Alright, they're cheap really.
I would assume so since Kent doesn't actually have any kind of income.
Kent decides to crank up some Rock 'N Roll!!!
Speakers (0:22) - Kent fires up his favourite Brian Deluge track, only to blow the shit out of his crap-ass speakers within seconds. Undeterred, Kent finishes singing the track himself, because he's a huge nerd.
Kent morosely checks out the poster of his idol, rock star Brian Deluge.
I wish I could be like him. He's so, er.... Rock and Roll.
Kent's not the only one. I'm only half an update into this game and I'm already wishing he could be more like someone else. Anyone else.
Kent briefly considers taking the poster, but quickly realises it is a bad idea.
I think it's best left right there. My guests, if I ever have some, might not like what lies behind it.
The same could be said about Kent's T-shirt.
Hoping to perhaps find some money for a bus fare to Plush-Rest, Kent checks inside his couch for lost coins.
Couch (0:39) - Of course, Kent is a klutz and completely destroys his couch, exposing his wallet along with a strange, whirring gizmo.
Naturally, upon finding the mysterious and almost certainly dangerous gizmo, Kent immediately shoves it into his pants pockets.
Having finally worked up enough courage, Kent approaches the toxic soup he calls a fridge.
I like how all of the shelves were removed, rendering the fridge almost entirely useless.
This food is months old. Yuk!
I was going to make fun of Kent for not throwing the food out, but then it dawned on me that there doesn't actually seem to be any kind of bin in this apartment.
This milk is an antique. I'm seeing if I can make cheese!
Good to see Kent has ambitions and goals in his otherwise meaningless existence.
Interrupting Kent's visions of future cheese, the Norm outside politely reminds us that the TV needs switching on again.
Oh, for Christ's sake. Why is there a rat in there? And since it's running, the machine is presumably on, so why isn't the rat baked to fuck? Has it been running like that the entire week?
Ignoring the rat, Kent heads to the bathroom, where he swipes his own towel.
OK, I have it.
Perhaps I was a bit harsh on Kent before. It's difficult to shower when your bath literally has no taps. Mind you, that doesn't excuse the huge javelin he's somehow managed to embed in there. Oh sorry, not javelin, "Sharkpoon".
Ah! This could have been one of my greatest inventions, if only I'd had a real shark to test it on.
Sharkpoon (0:30) - Kent pulls the Sharkpoon out of the bath, only to be enveloped by the trapped gas pocket underneath. Kent then berates his own bathroom for not showering, completely missing the wonderful irony in the statement.
Kent's bathroom is now basically off-limits, but that's alright. I'm not sure he ever really used it anyway.
I like how the most sensible place Kent could find for this flammable cardboard box was right on top of his stove.
This MUST come in handy!
Actually, looking closely, is his oven already on? And right next door to a new gas leak too. It's a miracle this place is even still standing.
Deciding to liberate the rat, Kent wields his mighty Sharkpoon!
I love how it never occurred to Kent to simply turn the machine off and open the door.
Kent decides to add the rat to his inventory. Kent's just that kind of dude.
I didn't bother to record this sequence, but I thought it was important that you all see how absurdly pointly Kent's backside is.
Kent checks out his front door.
I can't get it to shift without the keys, and I don't think I'll be seeing those for about a week. Whoever made this hovel thought very seriously about home security.
At the expense of features like running water and fridge shelves, apparently.
It's very relaxing watching this all day. Oh, yeah... wow.
Wow, indeed. Kent refuses to actually take the lava lamp though, whinging that it's too heavy for him. Way to be a complete wimpazoid, Kent!
A window looks over the local neighbourhood. But of course, in an apartment that was designed for security, there's no way it would be unlocked, right?
Or apparently it is. Before he can leave though, Kent needs to ensure his troublesome television stays on, so as to not arouse suspicion.
Displaying logical thinking that belies the amount of paint he drinks, Kent hatches an ingenious plan!!
Bird toy (0:22) - Kent uses his pecking bird toy to keep the TV constantly on. Or turning on and off constantly, I'm not sure. Also enjoy how the remote doesn't actually move properly in the video and is completely out of sync with the sound effects! Yo, Dude!!
With the TV permanently on, and most of his apartment completely wrecked, it's time for Kent to blow this joint!!
Window (0:18) - Displaying surprising agility, Kent climbs through his window, and out to freedom!
What awaits Kent in the sleepy city of Neuropolis? Can he expect gainful employment at Plush-Rest? Does he ever get his milk to turn into cheese? Will he ever have enough strength to lift a lava lamp? Answers to at least one of these questions will be found here tomorrow!