The Let's Play Archive


by Panzer Skank

Part 10: Zone 2 - The Park

Hi! Welcome back! Today we're going to the mother fuckin' park!

Yeah whatever bye guys.

Music - A Stab at Happiness

Oh boy oh boy oh boy

Oh a balloon! When we touch it, it pops and gives us an item.


I don't think the line is going to take this long, actually.

The park! This is... a little disappointing, actually. Let's check out the signs and see what the Elsen here have to say.

To the right there's a boat ride! That sounds pretty fun actually!

To the left is the world's safest roller coaster! I love roller coasters!!

And at the top we have a balloon game! I love balloons AND games!!

: We are definitely in a park.

Well, it's not really water, it's just plastic but... well, forget it. It's a little crazy I guess!

: And then I would fall endlessly into an abyss, which in itself does not even exist. What a terribly frightening thought!


Let's uh... let's go check out that roller coaster, which I am 99% sure is not an endless abyss.

So is this the waiting area or... ?

: That wouldn't be careful at all...

Here it is, the world's safest roller coaster. A bunch of chairs in a line.

The Elsen of zone 2 are basically the most depressing thing I've ever seen. They're too frightened to even sit in a bunch of stationary chairs!

: It closed down before it was even completed.

Oh? Another roller coaster you say? I wonder if there's any way for us to get past this fence.

In the meantime, let's go check out the other attractions!

The balloon game sounded pretty neat! Let's go up here and see what the deal with that is.

: Play, play, play the Balloon Game! If... If you win, you get the grand prize. But... But if you lose, you might be sad. So... uh... be careful.

We're offered a choice of whether or not we'd like to play.

Fuck YES we'd like to play! I want that grand prize!

: Okay... Here are the rules. It's easy. When it's your turn, you can choose to pop one, two, or three balloons. When it's my turn, I'll do the same. The one who's left with the last balloon loses the game. Do you understand?

: Okay, let's start. I'll start first.

The Elsen pops one balloon, and then it's our turn.

This is a very common sort of puzzle/game. It's not very hard to solve. Mainly, the key is in whose turn it is when there are 5 balloons left.

If it's your turn, you've lost. No matter how many balloons I choose to pop here, the elsen I'm playing against will always be able to leave me with the final balloon.

Nothing bad happens when you lose, he just asks if you'd like to play again. And now that we know the trick, I sure would! This time I play the game to force him to have a turn when there are 5 balloons left.

Spectacular! We've won!

Yeah man but come on it wasn't a real hard game.

: No... That's impossible... I have been cheating from the start...

: You cheated!!! You bear me much ill will!

What??? Oh no!

Music - Pepar Steak (Caravan Mix) (Here's the mix of Pepar Steak that loops in the game, just to switch things up a bit.)

Man I just wanted to pop balloons.

This guy isn't very hard to beat, but he sure was rude. How was he cheating? That doesn't even make sense.

Once we defeat him we receive... a necktie?

Music - A Stab at Happiness

The batter seems as confused by this as we are.

Ok. If we try to equip it in the park, the Batter refuses:

Also, you may notice the other Elsen in the park panicking now! They heard our fight through the door and it scared the bananas out of them. Before we check in with them, though, let's go back to the balloon game.

A secret balloon! If we pop it we're given a piece of Abaddon's meat. Okay, back to the screaming Elsen now I suppose.

Guys, it was just the one and I... he's gone... and...

I'm gonna go to the boat ride now.

A pedalo call point and a little guy guarding a door to the south! What does he have to say?

: U... Unless... Maybe you know him personally...? But... without proof, I cannot... I might get in trouble...

The boss, huh? Is that Japhet? I guess we'll figure it out later. Right now we have DUCK ADVENTURE.

Check out that little dark square in the water. Once we hop on the pedalo and float over it, the Batter comments out loud:

It bumps us gently to the right. If we try to pass over it going left, it will turn us around and push us back to the right. You can probably see where this is going.

It's an item maze! With super annoying barely visible obstacles in the water that will push us away from the prizes! Gross. This whole thing is an exercise in squinting really hard at the screen, so I'll mostly jump to the prizes!

This place basically sucks because of how hard it is to see the marks in the water for where the motors are.

Even if you can see where they are, you can't really tell very clearly what direction you're about to be pushed in.

Agh fuck fuck fuck, I wanted to go south here, and I thought I knew the right motor to go across, but I fucked up. We're speeding past that entrance as fast as our little ducky friend can go.

The line of four motors above the Batter in this shot is the point of no return, they all push him down toward the exit back to the main park.

Fuckin stupid dumb bumper bullshit thing shit!

There's one last item over to the left past the point of no return before we have to loop all the way around again.

The description for an "Inspiration" is the most useless thing in the world. Checking it in the menu it just says "Object that's utilisable in combat." Thanks. I'm pretty sure this is a temporary stat buff item for the party, but it's kind of hard to tell.

vilkacis posted:

Inspiration looks to be an attack with 75 base damage, typeless (so it can't be resisted). Looks quite uninspiring, really.

Thank you Vilkacis!

Let's go all the flippin way around again jeez

For anyone playing along at home, this is the motor you want to go over. It only pushes you one space forward, allowing you to navigate around the other motors and down into the item area.

Once you get in here you still need to go down the clear path to reach the balloon.

Equipment for Alpha! Anyway, there's one last place we can reach with the pedalo to the upper left.

It's a winding path between the motors that is annoyingly hard to see.

A switch!

Leave it activated, please.


: The switch is now on OFF

Oh man, could this mean-

YESSSS! None of the Elsen in this area seem to notice that the entrance to the old roller coaster is open. Hey whatever no line.

To the left is a little kiosk!

: If you ride it, you have the right to get a photo.

Real coaster?? Photo?! Yeah we're all over this. Let's go climb to the top!

This is a long ass flight of stairs, and we're up in the sky by the time we reach the top.

Is... Is that a statue of Zacharie? Well, whatever, it's coaster time not stare at dumb statues time.

WHEEEEE!! (The flash is from our photo being taken.)

Whew that was crazy fun!

: Here is your photo.

Haha man look at us just havin the best ol' time! What a great photo! Let's go ride again!

This time we look at the statue and we're given an option to push! Well, I bet Zacharie would love coasters, he seems like a thrill seeker. Let's bring this statue with us since Actual Zacharie is in the shopping mall right now.

There we go, let's put the safety bar down.


: Woaw, you're lucky, you rode it with the owner...

Wait, Zacharie owns this place?

Hmmm and thanks to his creepy mask face, you can't really tell it's a statue in this photo. It just looks like he has real bad posture. Let's see if we can't trick that guy back by the pedalo ride.

: U... Unless... Maybe you know him personally...? But... without proof, I cannot... I might get in trouble...

: Is... Is that a photo of the boss? A... And you're right next to him? On a roller coaster!? But that's terribly dangerous! Well... at any rate... I guess you're a friend of the boss. You may enter.

Yesssss super sweet room full of treasure! From these chests we gain another set of the star sign orbs for upping our stats! Those things are so handy.

: Who knows what can happen...

Yeah okay thanks for all your boss' stuff bye!

Next time: We've been North, South, and West, let's go see what's in East Bismark!