The Let's Play Archive

Oregon Trail

by Chewbot

Part 3: Cyrus, Susan and Baby

Here's the lineup so far:

Cyrus J. Neckebard was a wealthy businessman in Providence when he first heard the call of Lewis and Clark. A normal man would be unflappable in the face of such an idea, leaving his wealth and job behind in the pursuit of farmland and what would be called the American Dream in a few decades, but Cyrus was approaching middle age (25) and well, he was flapped. He had only become wealthy recently with the success of a new American business model wherein one takes another person's money for safekeeping and then literally keeps part of it.

Those small town ways called out to him ever since leaving his place of birth with his childhood sweetheart. Now he had somehow convinced his poor wife Susan that a better life awaited them in the untamed west.

Cyrus' wife Susan was the talk of the town before she got married. She was a beauty if I ever saw one, that's for sure, and she knew it- compared to the whithered crones hunched over in their tiny kitchens making pie, Susan must have looked like a goddamn Aphrodite. She was constantly hounded by the creepy and disgusting men that loitered in the taverns and behind the schoolhouse until at the tender age of 15, er 18 (nobody did anything until they were 18, not even in the olden days), she ran off with a dapper young chap named Cyrus who talked a good talk. The two hit it off instantly, they got along great, of course, and they were married after only three months. Not long after they gave birth to a baby girl...

skip ahead a bit...

And they would regret this last shot at parenthood because the child was a damned abomination.

They named it, uh... Baby, because the doctor was unable to identify the gender. The doc's explanation was that it had a rare disease which completely wiped its face clean of all features and instead replaced them with horrible, bright red pimples. Its gender remains a mystery, as its parents are too scared to go near it; instead, they just leave it in the wagon and hope that the condition is not contagious. It's amazing that the child has survived as long as it has.

I could power on through, but I'd like to get a few more options for the brother and sister of the group. So submit those characters and we'll fill in the "skip ahead a bit" part!