Part 22: Super Special Awesome(possibly fudge coated)
Bonus Chapter Twenty-One: Epilogue.
This is it, with this chapter we close out Paladin's Quest. It's been a strange trip, but we've finally reached the end of the line. Since the ending left much to be desired I decided to take matters into my own hands. We can now see what that stars of Paladin's Quest went on to do.
It took a bit longer than I hoped, but I finally got all the character portraits enlarged. They're now avatar sized. Feel free to use them, or even better give them to someone you hate with an insulting large red custom title. Also before I even start I need to thank you for reading this. Now without further ado, I present to you a better ending to Paladin's Quest.
Bean continued walking Lennus in search of a true challenge to test is swordsmanship. He found rest not in the eternal peace of death, but in the struggle to improve himself. There were those unwilling to let him continue his quest in peace. Namely the hosts of ghost hunting reality shows who hounded him for the better part of a year. Declaring wherever he happened to be at the moment haunted. Eventually he grew tired of this and slew the lot of them. The world was a better place for his actions.
When Fiery got out of the hospital she broke both of Blades' arms. His petition to be transferred to the pediatric section of the trauma ward was summarily denied. His autobiography Why I'm so great: How I saved Lennus from Dal Gren sold less than a thousand copies.
FastJo and Cehcan started a juggling act together and became world famous. Until a bowling pin in the eye forced Cechan to retire. Fastjo was known forever after as being a little too fast. This made it very hard to pick up women.
Johnny taught Chill a valuable lesson about being a self absorbed airhead bitch. If you do that somebody might just wipe your hometown off the map. Rather than learn from the experience, she tried to have Johnny brought up on war crimes charges, but could never build enough of a case to get past the pretrial phase.
Dan won several tournaments at the martial arts convention and started a school where he taught inner city children the value of respect, and discipline. He also told them to stay off drugs.
He made the mistake of opening his school in Jurayn. Seeing as respect, discipline, and not being on drugs are forbidden concepts in hippy culture, he was run out of town in a week. Later he became a founding member of the Crazy Eyebrows Detective Agency with MeanMa.
Fritz eventually rebuilt his house. After finally getting that done he used his considerable lumberjacking abilities to help Johnny and Mindy rebuild Reiyold and Ratsurk. After that he founded a charity to create free waxing salons for Guud women.
Gorf opened a new mine in Godom. With hard work he quickly outperformed and took over Smash's mine as well. It turned out Smash hadn't produced any ore for the better part of ten years. He hadn't even dug up any rock. He just couldn't be bothered to actually do any mining.
Smash died drunk in a ditch. Not because he was completely incapacitated, or because he was broke. He had plenty of money, and was just slightly hammered. He was just too lazy to roll over, or spit out his own vomit.
Mouth published four best selling books on his discoveries in and about the underground. He died at sixty-two from injuries sustained in the underground while his assistants were absent. Many insisted that he was murdered by those who wanted to learn something he knew. Conspiracy theorists believe he and GRasav discovered the secret to Gren construction. G denies these claims, which of course only fuels the fire.
Nails helped Mouth in his research as much as he could. His memories from that long ago were irretrievably corrupted however. He served as a guide through the underground, and assisted lost explorers until Mouth's death. Nails carried mouth to the surface for aid, and learned it was too late. After Mouth's funeral Nails was not seen again, and many speculate about his fate.
After a long courtship J Rasav and Fiery got married. They didn't think they could have children because of their vast physiological differences, they were wrong. Fiery eventually did become pregnant. The strain of bearing a Rackgo child ended up being too much for her system however. M Rasav was born healthy, but the surgeries required insure his survival left Fiery paralyzed from the waist down. Young M Rasav is a joy to both his parents, and full of life. So full of life in fact, his mother can get quite a workout chasing him down in her wheelchair.
G travels a lot, but couldn't bear to be away from his brother for long. He went to college and received the first PhD issued for phycho-reactive mechanics. He believed whatever scientific principals lay behind the repair of his mind were also used to construct the Grens.
He became Mouth's part time head assistant and helped him decipher many mysteries in the Lennus underground. After Mouth�s death G continued the research in the hopes of preventing another Gren from ever being constructed, or discovering the secret to destroying them. Some say he hired the Crazy Eyebrows Detective Agency to learn who murdered mouth. Other's say he's responsible for Mouth's death. Speculating that they discovered the secret to building a Gren, and G wanted the information for himself.
Grunt and Wind did eventually get married. Things quickly turned sour then Wind learned Grunt solved all his problems by taking hostages. The people at the post office were not amused.
Gunny went on to win the annual Big Men Lift Heavy Things contest fifteen times in a row and retired undefeated.
When the headmaster retired from the Magic Academy, he named Hawk as his successor. His primary qualification was not his magical talent, but rather the ability to stand around doing nothing while an entire town went to hell around him. He also works as a magic consultant for the Crazy Eyebrows Detective Agency.
The court eventually ruled that making children do excessive push-ups was not child abuse, and MeanMa regained custody of her children. After that she founded the 10,000 Push-Ups Military Daycare Academy and Water Magic Traning Camp with Wild.
After a few years she left the daycare center in Wild�s capable hands and founded the Crazy Eyebrows Detective agency with Dan. Together they solve mysteries in a variety of sexy locations.
Tiger thought that when his father died he would become the leader of their tribe. The joke was on him for once. His father's will named Peppi the leader of the Skuruu. The document cited Tiger's irresponsibility, and tendency to play immature pranks as the main reason for the nominating a leader outside the family. Tiger now works as a messenger part time investigator for Crazy Eyebrows Detective Agency.
Under Peppi's leadership the Skuruu ended their nomdic ways and settled in northern Naskuot. Providing their mobile encampment as a new tourist attraction after the disappearance of Dragon mountain .
Along with Dan and MeanMa, Slayer founded the Crazy Eyebrows Detective Agency. Originally founded as a private police force for the libertarian minded Lubbot, the company eventually branched into more traditional fields of private investigation. Slayer, Dan, and MeanMa solve a multitude of crimes in a variety of exotic and sexy locations. Of course Johnny, Mindy, and the other mercenaries make occasional guest appearances.
Wild became headmistress of MeanMa's daycare center after MeanMa retired from active duty to become a private investigator. She does her best to teach the kids water magic and makes them do plenty of push-ups. She matured quite a bit thanks to MeanMa and friends, and loves her work and the kids.
Zuran started a boy bad who actually play own instruments. This revolutionary idea made him world famous. He parlayed that success into a career as a music producer, and is now president of his own record label, Ambiguous Music Inc.
Lilie suffered a fate all too common to girls in Japanese video games, and is credited as victim #1 in Lennus' first bukake suffocation snuff film. Her murderers were eventually brought to justice by the Crazy Eyebrows Detective Agency.
As for Johnny? With his business partner Mindy he opened a world spanning chain of soft serve ice cream parlous. The name of their company: Awesome! It's Soft Serve Ice Ceam! which was quickly shortened to Awesome Ice Cream!. After a few years in successful business together Johnny finally started having sex with Mindy...
...until she woke up and stopped him. But it was too late, she was already teen pregnant. They got married shortly thereafter and had lots and lots of mindblowing sex, and lots and lots of kids. Despite what everyone says about marriages based on teen pregnancy, they couldn't have possibly lived any more happily ever after.
Well it's almost time for me to go. Before I do, I'd like to give credit where credit is due.
Firstly I'd like to thank the makers of Waffleimages and the SALR extension. Their hard work is what made this thread possible.
I would be remiss if I didn't also thank everyone who read, and everyone who posted. Without readers you're just a crazy person shouting into the darkness. Without feedback you're playing the violin with earplugs.
Specifically I'd like to single out Korranus, and Genuine Cat Herder for their excellent contributions to the thread.
Lastly, but in absolutely no way, never ever, least. I saved the world's biggest thank you for Angelic Panacea for all of her work on this thread. Without her contributions I don't think Let's Play: Paladin's Quest would have turned out half as well as it would have otherwise.
With all that out of the way we must bid farewell to Lennus. I hope in the future I can fine another world as vibrant and nonsensical to make fun of.
Edit: Just so we have all the character portriats, here's the Duchess.