The Let's Play Archive

Parasite Eve

by Crowetron

Part 14: Episode 14: TL;DR

Episode 14: TL;DR

Last time, the NYPD evacuated the island of Manhattan because of crazy monster ladies and their melty magic. This time, we find out if Aya is dead of not.

It's Day 3, by the way.

Flashbacks are a growing problem among young women in America.

Ask your doctor if Memoracyl is right for you.

Side Effects may include fractured sentences and bad trips.

Like so.

You just know there's some horrible Japanese porn comic about this scene.

: This is not my beautiful house.

: Are...are you watching cartoons? Are those...ponies?

: It's My Little Pony, or MLP as it's known. It's a very smart show! It may look like a kids show, but it's very clearly aimed at adults and totally normal for me, an adult man, to watch.

: ...

: But everypony just calls me "Otacon"

Daniel enters

: Oh, thank God. Let's get out of here. I don't know how many more Metal Gear jokes I can take!

: Never seen anything like it. Pretty creepy, if you ask me...

: Where's Eve ?! What happened to the people in Central Park ?

: Ben was okay...but... The rest of the audience... Well, they just... disappeared.

: Gross.

: I know, right?

: Japan?

: It's a small island nation off the eastern coast of Asia.

: Oh, is that what that is? I thought that was Madagascar.

Maeda's referring to the novel Parasite Eve by Hideaki Sena. This game is technically a sequel. I've never read the book, but it doesn't seem to feature fire-breathing crocodiles, so I probably never will.

: What?!

: Hey! Give us the details!

Recappin' music

: Pfft. Women drivers.

Why, exactly? Why not just label them "Dead Wife's Liver Cells"? Naming anything related to science after biblical figures always ends poorly. Especially if you name them after biblical figures who are evil/easily manipulated.

"Oh, just gonna name this genetically altered baby Judas. Doop doop. OH NO! The baby turned into a monster and is eating my face! Why would you betray me like this, Judas?!"

That's how dumb you sound, unnamed Japanese scientist. Super dumb.

: What? How?

: I'unno. Science, I guess.

How do you pronounce that, anyway?

: Whoa, I think we skipped somethin' there.

: How did we go from crazy liver cells to monster baby, exactly? Sounds like an important part of the story to leave out.

By the way, here's an important plot point. The story doesn't really work without it. Just, FYI.




: After hearing about this incident, I had to fly over here.

No, I think you've explained enough.

: Yeah... I'm fine...

: I thought that monster had got a hold of you ! Thought it was too late...

Uh...leave something for the creepy fanfic writers, Aya.

: No, she's... Well, she's the only one that isn't affected.

: What ?!


: I... I... don't understand.

: That's impossible. Your hands are normal sized and you still have legs!

: ...even remotely possible. I'm the baddest motherfucker in this whole game! Didn't you see me punch the mustache off Giraldo?

: Aya...

: Please...

: Yes, I understand your point.

Maeda shuffles out.

: I... I could never forgive myself if I killed... you...

: Aya... You're no monster.

Daniel leaves Aya to her thoughts, and presumably drives back to Central Park to suplex a polar bear.

Wait, what?

The plot thickens?

What kind of parent names their kids Aya & Maya? Honestly.

Next time, we take advantage of the deserted streets and loot the fuck out of Soho!