Part 16: Episode 16: I Can't Think of a Joke about MicroscopesHey, do you guys like cutscenes? Cutscenes where everyone stands in a room talking? No? Too bad!
Episode 16: I Can't Think of a Joke about Microscopes
Last time, we hit the jackpot and made a grenade pistol. This time we're...
Hey, where are we going?
I dunno, I thought you knew!
What? Who said that?
: Research facility?
: I'd like to conduct an experiment...and test something. It might be relevant.
Oh, this'll go well.
: He should have been evacuated by now... it should be okay.
: Err... yes... That sounds good. Daniel, is that okay?
Like Maeda has any money.
Okay, this shouldn't take long.
We'll just drive halfway across the island.
: I can find a research facility in this building?
: Yeah. Hopefully, we won't run into the jerk who runs it. Since he's been evacuated, it should be empty...
: Actually, he just had a shitty little office with a computer. We probably have a better forensic lab back at the station. I don't know why I suggested coming here.
: Does it? I mean all he has is some beakers and a microscope...
: Actually, all I need is a microscope. I'm not sure why I asked for a full lab.
Besides my patience? This grenade gun is burning a hole in my pocket!
Good God, I hope it's from Eve!
See? Look at this place! Fucking tiny! And what kind of lab doesn't have giant, easily broken glass tubes everywhere?
: At the cellular level, her power cannot be as strong as Aya said previously.
: You callin' me a liar, squinty?
: Down, girl.
Maeda just kinda wandered over here and did a thing.
: Hey, what're you doing ?
: I just want to conduct this experiment to see whether or not...
Yeah, he actually just trails off there and fiddles with the microscope.
: Hm... Yes... yes... This is... exactly as I... It's just as I thought... Go ahead, take a look.
Why, Aya, it's an FMV!
Take a look!
not how microscopes work at all!
Behold, a human cell.
Take a gooooood look.
Whoa, are...are those molecules? I think we zoomed-in too far. Back it up, Maeda.
That is a mitochondria. I don't think that's how they actually look, but this is still more realistic than the T-Virus.
I don't know why an organelle designed specifically to produce energy has grabby claws, but there ya go.
Mitochondria are basically just reeeeeeally small piranhas, when you think about it.
I like how Aya completely understood all that, even the cross fades. I expected a slightly different reaction.
: The balls was that?
: Well, that was my cells and...
: That's dumb. You're dumb. Daniel, let's bounce.
: Man, fuck science.
Sigh. Why won't game developers hire me to write for them?
I mean, games would be way shorter, yeah. But there would be so much more suplexing. You don't even know.
I woulda had Daniel running through Central Park, completely engulfed in flame, dropkicking through polar bears and punching Eve right in the goddamn face. All while completely on fire.
Then, he'd grab Ben, and Aya would shoot a grenade at him. But the grenade is actually a big-ass water balloon, and puts out the fire.
Daniel and Aya would high-five while Eve blows up, and the screen freeze-frames. Roll credits, play theme song. Then, they fly off in an airplane to go fight Albert Wesker in a volcano.
Wait, what were we talking about?
: Normally, mitochondria require oxygen when they generate energy called ATP. So at this time, the mitochondria requests oxygen from the nucleus. Without the energy supply from the mitochondria, the nucleus cannot function. So in essence, the two organelles constantly rely on each other. But in this case... It seems that Eve developed the power to reverse this symbiotic relationship. Evolution, or even mutation seems likely in this case...
Jesus, look at all those words.
Aya's completely drifted off again. Betcha she's thinking about playin' my super-awesome game.
: Look at this... even with a limited number of cells, her cells have this much power. Can you imagine how much power Eve has within her whole body...?!
: Please stop saying words.
: Yes... of course, but...
: I want to know... I want to know why I have the power to fight her... I want to know where I stand with her!!
Jesus, I just noticed how short Aya is.
:...Yes... Of course...
: Thanks, Maeda.
: Could you step over here, please?
Maeda does a thing: Part 2.
I wonder what kind of settings you need to make the microscope dramatically zoom and pan to exactly what you want to see.
: What is it? Is something wrong?
Nope, just another FMV
This time, we start right at the cell. Not entirely sure what all that flappy shit before was about.
Everything looks to be in order here. A little less blue, but otherwise...
Oh no! It's the deadly velocichondria!
The nucleus writhes and pulses.
This does something to the mitochondria.
And they just drift off, lifelessly.
Music - Theme of Aya
Even Aya's cells carry guns at all times?
: Your mitochondria are supplying more energy to the nucleus of your cells... It's almost as if they are protecting the nuclei from Eve's mitochondria...
: Why does Aya's mitochondria have this kind of power?
: I don't know... I just...
Here we go.
Is Aya wondering if she's still human after seeing this new evidence?
Or is she just super bored and thinking about shooting rat monsters?
: Hey man, I don't read those scientific journals... What're you trying to say ?
: Depending on how you look at it, you can say that Eve is... trying to destroy all mitochondria except her own. In response to that, Aya's mitochondria has developed the power to rebel...
: Why only Aya's ? Shouldn't it be the same for us as well ? We should also have that power based on...
Aya and Daniel spring into action, firing blindly in the direction of the loud noise until their guns run dry.
Upon seeing who it is, they reload and shoot some more.
Nah, they actually just put their guns away without firing a shot.
I bet he was just standing in the hallway for the last ten minutes, waiting to make a dramatic entrance. Probably even waved to Aya and the gang as they walked by.
: What do you mean, "You people"?!
: We've received orders to evacuate this city. Professor, you really should...
: I tell you... Cops are the ones corrupting this fine city... !
: FUCK DA POLICE!
I like how Daniel spends most of this cutscene absently glancing around the room.
: YOU! Where did you get these... cells ?
: Th... Those are... I... I... I don't know...
: Do you take me for a FOOL?! With cells like these... They MUST affect the body's natural state...!
: Oh, shut up ! I'll just ask...Officer Brea...!
: You should feel... somewhat... hot... ? No ? Speak up, Officer... I can't hear you... Have you lost consciousness anytime recently?
Daniel spots something on the computer monitor. Is Dr. Klamp running Limewire?!
Whoa, that's...Dr. Klamp, why don't you have a seat over there?
: ...Lorraine !! Lorraine's on here too ! Klamp !!! You tell me...!!
Klamp runs over and clicks out of whatever Daniel was just looking at. I managed to miss this but still catch a slight dimming from the camera angle changing. Neat.
Haha, Aya's just like "Welp."
: Let go of me... I don't have to tell you anything.
Reluctantly, Daniel releases the diabolical Doctor Klamp.
Daniel is the first to storm out.
Can't you just feel the sarcasm?
: But we do have to officially warn you of the evacuation. Please remember that...
You want me to send him back in here?
: No, no, that's quite alright.
Maeda just kind of awkwardly shuffles out.
That sounds ominous. Should we pop back in a see what's up with that?