Part 34: Episode 34: Liberation IslandHaha, so it turns out the only technical difficulty was that I can't remember where I put things! That's embarrassing. Oh well, that means it's time for
Episode 34: Liberation Island
Last time, Aya shot a missile at Goozilla and blew it to shit. How did that effect Eve?
Apparently not very much.
Shut. Up. Maeda.
I'm sure this is the latest in a long line of women hanging up on Maeda.
Let's get down there!
I just wanna remind you that this
: Fuckin' Eve and her bullshit. I don't care, I'm goin' down there!
: How dare she not die when I shoot a missile at her! I guess if you want something done right...
: ...ya gotta do it yourself!
And so Aya jumps out of a helicopter so that she can personally shoot Eve in the face.
Granted, she has a parachute, but it's possible to be both bad-ass AND safety conscious.
So, here we are on Liberty Island. It's a bit of a mess right now.
I imagine that walking around here is kinda like walking on the world's worst movie theater floor.
I kinda like the idea of Aya being conflicted about Eve. On the one hand, she hates her and really wants to shoot her repeatedly until she dies. On the other hand, she can't help seeing her sister in there somewhere.
On a third hand sprouting from the cranium, Eve is a total bitch.
: You HAVE the ability to EVOLVE! Why take the side of a DOOMED species?!
I am firmly of the opinion that the best villains are the smuggest villains.
Oh, jeez, that's a complex question. Well, there are lots of reasons and justifications, and it's really hard to just boil it down to...
...uh, yes? That is technically correct. Where are you going with this?
Aya clearly sees a villainous monologue coming, and she just wants to get to the shooty bits.
Eve says "Fuck you, I'ma monologue all I want!"
: This territory is guarded from natural enemies. But until now, humans had no such "natural enemy". THAT is what has allowed them to prosper to this point. You beings must think of your prosperity as "history"...
Is it actually Gym? Shit, I knew I shouldn't have skipped that class.
Jeez, everything's always "Me, me, me" with you mitochondria, isn't it?
: Sorry, I wasn't listening. Are you half-meatballs now or something?
: Seriously, what is going on down there?
: It's like, I wanna know, but I kinda don't. You know what I mean?
: Humans were kept alive for the mitochondria's sake ?
Talk about playing the long game. Were you guys just hangin' around in the primordial ooze goin' "Naw, man, I'm tellin' you. All we gotta do is provide a vital role in cellular life for just a couple million years. Like 60-70 million, is all. Then BAM! Fire breathing crocodiles! Genius!"
: ...What do you mean?
: Vehicles to transport us to the time the mitochondria would become free again...
: Whoop whoop whoop!
Battle Against Eve 2 - Music
So now we're squaring off against Eve. This fight is weird mostly because the previous boss, the T-Rex, was such a pushover, whereas Eve can pretty readily fuck you up if she wants to.
She will pretty much always start the fight by firing her organic photon cannons at you. This is pretty easy to dodge, just run to her left or right until she stops.
She can also shoot needles out of her clawed hand like a machine gun. This one is trickier to dodge, because you need to actually get closer to her as you run to the side. Neither of these attacks are really anything to worry about.
Eve has three targets: her ball, her chest, and her head. Her ball has the least health, so its a good place to start.
During this initial run, I thought it'd be fun to use the Rocket Launcher. I mean, what the hell, I'm sitting on almost two dozen rockets. Gotta use them on something, right?
DO NOT DO THIS. You see, having the rocket launcher equipped slows Aya down considerably, reducing her AT gauge to a modest crawl. Casting Haste still doubles your speed, by two times shit just equals two shits. This means that the fight will take twice as long, and that's twice as much as time for Eve to kill you. You are honestly better off just using your favorite gun, because at least then you'll be fast enough to dodge her attacks.
The thing you really need to watch out for in this fight, is Eve's tentacle attacks. She'll charge at you and try to grab you with her dangly arm, and what happens if she does is based on the color of the attack's aura. The yellow one I'm getting hit with here hits you three times and inflicts Confusion. There's a blue one that hits you twice and inflicts Defense Down, and a white one that just hits you for lots of damage.
The Red Tentacle attack is the one you gotta watch out for. It will reduce your HP to 1 if it hits, no matter what. This isn't too bad with Auto-Med on your armor, but it is still a huge problem. You'd better be recasting Haste every time it wears off, otherwise dodging these attacks can be tricky.
You wanna know a real strategy for taking down Eve?
420 cast Liberate erryday
I'm serious. Cast Haste, wait a few seconds to PE to refill, hit the bitch with Liberate, swap armor back and forth really quickly since Haste should still be effecting you, repeat.
Each Liberate is like a rocket machinegun in terms of damage, so you can easily manage without ever firing a single bullet. Is it cheesy as hell? You bet your ass. But it sure is funny!
One last tip, never get behind Eve. If you're behind her, she'll begin to spin and fire sonic booms from her hair-hands. This attack is a huge pain in the ass if only because the sonic booms have no pattern and hit the ground in random spots, making it tough to completely dodge. And if one hits you, you'll probably get hit by two or three of its buddies.
Oddly enough, the best way to avoid this is to run into a corner and stay there. You'll almost never get hit while in the corner and I don't know why.
Seriously though, don't use rockets.
Let's finish this.
I just punched explosions into her face, and she is still smug. Goddamn.
Enough talk! Have at you! *throws vial of sperm*
Lady, given the science so far, I'm not sure anyone in the game knows what evolution really means.
Being a JRPG villain, Eve obviously has multiple forms. Oh hey, she has legs again! Congratulations!
Right, so in the last fight, Eve just kind of lazily floated around and shot stuff at you. This time, she zooms around the arena like a bee on crack.
She can make energy bullshits appear underneath you. I have no idea how to dodge this, or if it even is dodgeable. Seems like if she wants to hit you, she hits you. I cast Auto-Revive in addition to Haste here to demonstrate something...
Eve's magic traps can REMOVE ALL BUFFS. Haste, Auto-Revive, whatever you had cast, it's gone now. If you don't have any buffs in place, these traps can inflict shit like Confusion and Paralysis. Everyone's favorite thing: a status effect boss. Woopee
She can also attack you with her hair/wings, which does moderate damage and inflicts poison. Not as bad as her BS traps though. She also has a weird-ass energy harpoon attack that I missed getting screenshots of. It's in the video below, though, so there ya go.
So how do you handle this form?
Honestly, this form of Eve annoying, but much easier than the previous fight. Taking her down legit is basically just a game of managing status effects and being patient.
But fuck that, let's just murder-spam the motherfucker!
: Eve, let off some steam.
: What? Oh come on, I didn't set you up for that line at all!
: Blow it out your ass.
: What? If you're not gonna take this seriously, I'm leaving.
: Always bet on Duke.
And so, Eve dies. New York is saved, and we...
But she clearly melted and is completely dead, so no need to worry about it.
Yeah, think about it, ya dead bitch. Well, that was a pretty good game, don't you think? I certainly had fun. Although...wait, where are the credits? We just killed Eve, it's clearly over, right?
Eve Battle - Video Edition!
Here's the Eve fights in handy video format, completely with rampant abuse of Liberate. It's both fights in one vid, so if you don't feel like watching me blunder around for 8 minutes, lemme know, and I can easily split the fight into two videos.
Final Eve. I like the similarities between this form and Aya's Liberate form. Still dunno what's up with the hair-arms, though.