The Let's Play Archive

Parasite Eve

by Crowetron

Part 36: Episode 36: The Greatest Man That Ever Lived

Episode 36: The Greatest Man That Ever Lived

Last time...


So, we killed Eve, but she somehow managed to transfer the baby growing in her womb into the Goo Monster, where it grew to term and was born. In the span of twenty minutes. I have no idea how she did that, even with crazy cellular magic.

Daniel wisely chooses not to ask for details on the baby transfer, instead focusing on the explosions engulfing every ship in the fleet. Well, except this one, for some reason.

: The mitochondria energy must be out of control to the point where it is causing these explosions...!

Sounds like as good a time as any to get the fuck outta Dodge.

Aya refuses to budge.

Aya must now face the greatest challenge any Aunt could ever face: Killing your mutant sister's monster baby.

: Aya!! NO!!!

: Don't worry about me. I'll be back!

I love this game.

Daniel is the voice of the player at this point.

: You two should go! NOW!!

: If you get your ass kicked by a baby, I'm gonna have to start telling people Cathy is my partner!

Aya prepares herself to face off against cutest apocalypse ever.

I think this Cutscene is missing a song, too, but it's way creepier this way.

Although the Ultimate Being can clearly fly, it decides to climb onto the ship deck.

Daww, he thinks he people


What would Eve have named this little fella, I wonder? Bernard?

: That's the question!

UB - Final Battle Theme

Okay, so Junior here is less than impressive as a fight.

See this, this shockwave? That's all he can do. If you dick around long enough, he can do a bigger one that hits the entire arena, but unless you're trying to show it off, he should be dead by then.

This is the big one, by the way. Sure, it hits like a truck, but you'll probably never see it, since this fight is like taking candy from a baby.

If you're feeling lazy, you can always just bust out Liberate

Shockingly, an infant is not a particularly deadly foe.

Of course, the fight's not over yet.

U.B. form two seems like it should be tougher, but it's not. It's wings are a separate target from its body, but if you've been pimping your guns out like you should, this is a nonissue.

He can shoot lightning bolts and vaguely homing magic missiles. Both can easily be dodged with Haste.

Liberate will kill him in one shot.

Honestly, the Croc fight was tougher than this.

Unfortunately, the UBster is not done transforming.

So, now we're fighting Seth from Street Fighter 4.

He's got a melee combo and everything!

About when he starts spewing homing shots, you'll probably notice that UB has suddenly become a threatening opponent.

Liberate won't even kill him in one shot anymore!

He also has this attack.

This is a massive fucking shockwave that hits almost the entire arena. Depending on where he starts it, you can avoid it by getting to the farthest corner, but you need Haste on to move that fast, and if he decides to hit the center? Fuck you, you're getting hit.

He also has a massive scrotum. Nothin' else, just huge nuts.

Eventually, he falls.

And then he turns into a green translucent dolphin (?!)

So, final form UB has a bunch of little untargetable satellites that buzz around and occasionally shoot lasers at Aya. This is his only attack.

Also all attacks only do one damage to him. ALL attacks. This might be a problem.

Good thing a cutscene happens!

: After all, you were just born. But...


: Are you seeing this shit, Four-eyes? That motherfucker clearly has a dick for a head! This shit is ridiculous!

Maeda fucking loves drugs. Loves 'em.

That's...that's creepy as hell, dude! It's like E/N and TFR fused into the weirdest stalker ever!

It says a lot for all the other weird shit going on that Daniel doesn't think that's odd at all at this point.

Maybe Daniel's planning to load them into his gun and shoot the Ultimate Being from the chopper? That'd be pretty cool.

Or maybe he's planning on doing the most amazing thing anyone has ever done.

: Goddamn, Giger was more subtle than this.

: Whozawhat?

: ffffuuuuuuuu



: You think this can kill ME?!


: No. Fucking. Way.

: Are you shitting me? Did that just happen?

: You bet yer a-brlbrlblbl

I'm just gonna post this again to make sure you all watch it. Seriously, do it.