Part 103: 9/6: MEMENTOS SUUUUUUUCKS

Part 99.5: 9/6: MEMENTOS SUUUUUUUCKS

Music: Mementos



The door behind Jochi opens upon inspection.

Sweet, now we can keep movin’.
Just be careful, OK? The deeper we go, the stronger the enemies get.



The word Akzeriuth, even with all these extra “Y”s, is giving me traumatic flashbacks to Tales of the Abyss. The root word of both is the Hebrew word Achzariyut, or cruelty.



That’s a sign of how much more twisted this place is. I’m sure the Shadows here are stronger, too.
Yeah, and looks like there are more enemies here than there were up above. Be careful, OK?




Eventually, we come to another rest area and I realize I’ve been neglecting to cover an easy-to-ignore source of conversation: Rest area Mementos discussions. In actual Palaces, the option to discuss progress is pretty pointless outside of the game giving you a vague hint of how much further you have to go, but in Mementos the characters actually stop and think about how goddamn weird this place is, holy shit.

Mementos is the Palace of the general public, correct?
Yeah, what’s your point?
Well, Madarame’s was a museum, Kaneshiro’s was a bank, and the teacher Kamoshida’s was a castle… Essentially, it seems that the appearance of a Palace is rooted in the distorted desires of its ruler. But in that case… why is this place a subway? Is that what the general public desires?
He makes a good point. I wondered the same thing when I first came here…
Even I don’t know the answer. The existence of Mementos is a pretty special thing to begin with.
Didn’t you say it’s the source of all other Palaces?
Yeah… It’s fundamentally different from just one person’s distortions. The layout changes every time too. Even its current appearance as a subway might be temporary. If that’s true, then…
Hey, I don’t wanna rain on your parade or nothing, but aren’t we here to check that out ourselves? Wouldn’t it be faster to just get to the bottom and be done with it?
Perhaps, but…
No, Skull is unfortunately right. This isn’t something we’ll be able to find the answer to right now. I’m sure the mystery will be solved if we can reach the depths of this place though.
Did you really hafta say that me bein’ right was “unfortunate”?



Later, we come across Pisaca, the one new enemy we encounter this entire Mementos visit. It likes to inflict Sleep and use Physical skills, and is weak to Fire.

Next, we encounter the cheater, Nejima. Still can’t believe we’re actually doing this. Besides, he’s just cheating at a video game, I really fucking doubt his distortion is so great that his Shadow will be able to put up any form of resistance against us.



He looks so… pathetic.
He’s cheating in a video game, right?
Yeah, he’s a cheater. It’s not something an adult should be doin’.
Let’s go.

Music: Desire



In the Gun About world, no one can defeat me! Cheating? I don’t know what you’re talking about… The winners are the ones who decide what is right! It’s the winners who decide what justice is! And what greater winner is there than me? I’m the god of the Gun About world! I am the god of the Gun About world! I am invincible! No one can ever hope to defeat me!

You, uh… You said the same thing twice, dude.

No matter how many come against me, no one can ever wound me!



Psh! Idiot! Let’s get him!

Music: Keeper of Lust

Shadow Nejima (You should actually probably watch this one)



Ain’t no matter what you throw my way, you won’t put a scratch on me!

So, the first thing we’ll notice, and this should set off some alarms immediately, is that this is the only voiced Mementos target in the entire game. I wasn’t kidding when I said “watch this,” by the way. You need to hear this dude’s accent.



Ugh.



Well, that’s just bad luck.



Come on, game!



Uh…




And he can enrage us, great.

A few turns of pointless, missed attacks later...



Look at him, acting all smug because of his cheats… We can’t do anything to him at this rate though. Let’s retreat for now and rethink our approach.

Wait, retreat!?

Music: Mementos



And then we just leave! The great and mighty Phantom Thieves, forced into retreat by a fucking PUBG hacker! What the hell is this game?

Yes… Unfortunately, it appears we do not have even a chance of victory.
Yo, Morgana. Ain’t there anything we can do?
I’m not sure. As I’ve already mentioned, the Metaverse is a place where people’s cognitions materialize. Even I can’t predict what will happen here…
Dammit! If only we could figure out what his ability is…



We know what his ability is, you dumbass. I just don’t get how “uses cheats in a video game” translates to “his repressed emotions have become an unkillable superbeing.”

That’s exactly right!
So we’ll need to figure out a way to break through his cheat…
That’s fine, but let’s do it somewhere else. It’s not exactly what I’d call safe here. We should talk more where there aren’t Shadows.
We can make it our homework then. Let us think more on this topic after we return to reality.



I hope it doesn’t add too much more work to your plate.

It’s fine, Makoto. I already have to do everything around here.

Homework… Eh, I guess that works. Anyways, let’s get goin’.



This is the sixth area on this floor, but counting the entire Palace… it’s the thirty-third one.
Thirty-three areas? I’m starting to feel kind of overwhelmed… Just how big is this place?
Who knows? This whole place, its overall structure… It’s all a mystery. Oh well. Just, uh, hang in there…!

We have to head back down, though, because we still have two other targets to take care of. This Mementos trip is a nightmare that will never cease. The game is at least kind enough to inform us when we return to the cheater’s floor, however, so we don’t accidentally go right back into his den.





Another good pull from a random locked chest, all right.




This interaction isn’t important, I just thought it was kinda charming.

We finally make it as deep as we’re going to go today for Mitsuyo Togo, Hifumi’s mother.



She’s using her just like a pawn, from what I hear.
That’s her own daughter… What is wrong with her?
I don’t know much about shogi, but I do know she’s a bad person!
It’s as you say, Lady Ann! Let’s get her!

Music: Desire



I gave birth to her. I raised her! My child should be devoted to serving me! I can finally be happy once Hifumi becomes a famous shogi player!



Hmph. ...She thinks she rose in rank on her own skill, but most of those matches were fixed.

...What!?

I’m the one who’s been building Hifumi’s commercial value! If I didn’t get rid of all her rivals, she wouldn’t be where she is now! I enlisted private investigators and even criminals to find their weaknesses and destroy them! I paid off anyone who might have complained or spoken out.

...Don’t you work in a nightclub? How are you affording all this hush money?

Oh, and I even sold stories to those weekly magazines. Heroines and tragedies go hand in hand!

Don’t quote this line pretending it answers the previous question I just asked, because it doesn’t. They’re not paying you that much money for some dumb tabloid story about an amateur shogi player.

One more step, and my vision for Hifumi will be realized. I’m so close to victory! I won’t let anyone get in the way!



Music: Keeper of Lust

Shadow Togo



So, I’d actually recommend watching the video for this one, because hoo boy, this fight. At the end there I almost die several times, especially after an incredibly unlucky Mamudoon instant kills the entire party except for Maaku (twice). She can cast heavy Fire, Ice, Electricity, and Curse for over 200 damage per, use medium multitarget spells, and generally kick your shit in. More than once I either survive an attack with HP you can count on one hand or dodge an attack that absolutely would have killed me. It’s easily the hardest (real) fight we’ve been in all day.

And she has a lot of fucking health. But hey, at least she’s weak to Bless. Attacks do so little damage across the board, however, that it’s really better to Baton Pass over to Ryuji and have him use Assault Dive rather than go for the All-out Attack.




Morgana learns Magarula, which replaces Magaru.



Yusuke learns Counterstrike as well, though he’s a total scrub who gets all his kills by camping. It replaces his normal Counter skill, as the former has a 15% chance of reflecting Physical damage as opposed to 10%, and the effect does not stack.

Music: Sunset Bridge



I could never win on my own. I had to use Hifumi, I had to...



I never meant to make Hifumi unhappy. Never. But when she won that grade school competition… She started being called a “genius girl,” and I could never get that out of my head… I turned out to be such a horrible mother. I’m sorry, Hifumi, I’m sorry...



A Bead Chain is an item that lets you fully restore the party’s HP. It’s pretty good.

Mitsuyo seems to have had a change of heart. I should go check with Hifumi...



Finally, we’re on the last target, who we accidentally skipped because the system for telling you where each target is in each block is just Morgana saying “the closest one’s below/above us, I guess” which is about as intuitive as it sounds. Anyway, we’re going after Oyamada, who’s forcing Takemi to close her clinic. We could have conceivably done this target much earlier in the game, so it’ll be a few blocks behind us and pretty weak.



That bastard looks like he’s been eatin’ well lately.
Hm. He made a mistake in rushing a drug’s development, and now intends for his subordinate to take the fall.
People might die if we don’t change his heart! And a good doctor will have to quit…



Takemi’s no Freddie Highmore, that’s for sure. I hope you enjoyed this awful Photoshop goof because it took way longer than it should have.

Also, I kinda take issue with calling Takemi a “good doctor.” She tests her experimental drugs on high school students until they pass out. Plus, she sells a ton of weird pharmaceuticals on the side.

Yeah. We gotta do something!

Music: Desire



As head of the medical office, I’m superior to everyone! I deserve all your respect! You should be begging me to examine you! Be grateful I have the compassion to fix you trash!



Ah, you’re that kid who was at Takemi’s. So how’s she doing? She was sooo depressed when she heard her patient died. Oh, I’m so worried about her. Poor girl… Hehe… Hehehe… Hahahahaha! It’s been so long since I’ve felt so exhilarated! Did she quit being a doctor yet? If she hasn’t, then tell her she better hurry it up!



Wha--!? You dare talk to me, your superior, like that!? Grr… Your diagnosis is “arrogance with no chance of recovery.” I better “treat” you right away! And I’ll blame your death on Takemi messing up again!

Wait, what does happen if we die in the Metaverse? Is it a P4 situation, where we get ejected into the subway system or something?



Music: Keeper of Lust



Oyamada uses weak Almighty attacks. He probably does some other shit, too, but uh… Morgana got a critical hit with Lucky Punch and the resulting All-out Attack killed him. He was only alive long enough for two party members to take a turn. Laaaaaame.

Music: Sunset Bridge



I want to save people’s lives. And I want to do something great, and help make medical history. But I’m just a mediocre doctor. I’ve only gotten promoted because of my university connections.

Medical Chief of Staff is a little high in the ranks to rise to out of pure nepotism, isn’t it?

Takemi, though, was so creative. She had all these ideas, and her techniques were extraordinary…! Everything I ever wanted—fame, prestige—she earned in just a few short years… I was jealous of her. That’s why I tried to take all the credit for her new drug...



I like getting to just go “man, fuck you.”

Ha… Haha… If only there were a medication that works on jealousy… …… Takemi’s patient isn’t dead.



What!?

I thought she wouldn’t recover, so I moved her to the hospice wing for terminally ill patients. But that patient didn’t believe my diagnosis. She ended up transferring to another hospital. Of course, transferring to another hospital makes our own hospital and university look really bad. That’s why I made everyone tell the same lie: the patient chose to leave the hospice, and then died.

That’s really dumb and makes no sense!

She doesn’t have much time left, but maybe Takemi could do something about it.



Ha. A healing skill. Cute.

It sounds like the patient is still alive. I should go tell Takemi about this right away…

I’ve already recorded a bunch in advance so I bring you this spoiler alert from the future: We’re going to fuck around for over two weeks and not do that.



Well, that’s all of them. Holy shit. We’re done. I… can’t really believe it. It kind of just feels like a part of me died in the process.



The amount of time we spent in Mementos today spanned just under two and a half hours. For context, trying to fit more than an hour of recording into an update usually results in it being obscenely long. A full Palace usually takes around four hours, also, but keep in mind that there’s actual shit to do and forward progression in a Palace, and also I don’t ever fucking try to fit an entire Palace into a single update. This was a nightmare, pure and simple, so mind-numbingly tedious that even as I was playing it I had to split it up over two play sessions, and spending the last nine hours or so trying to wash my hands of it have been excruciating. I’m not trying to whine to you guys about how bad Mementos is, both because that’s pathetic and also because you’ll never truly understand it the way I do when I say FUCK MEMENTOS.

...But on the bright side, we now have about 470,000 yen. So there's that.

Music: Beneath the Mask




He is invincible at his game, so he is invincible in Mementos as well…
Then how about we just beat him at that game of his? Oh, but he’ll just cheat...
How ‘bout we ask for help from a skilled player? Supposedly there’s an insanely good gamer they call the “King” somewhere in this city. I’ve seen all over the forums how he managed to beat this cheater himself with orthodox methods.
For real!? Where can we find him?
I checked his account from the official server… But I couldn’t pinpoint what arcade he goes to. Sorry…
But if he’s really that famous, won’t it be easy to find him?
That’s true. OK, we should gather intel on the King at the arcades around the city.
I didn’t know someone could get famous just by being good at a video game… In any case, we might be able to get through this if we can find this King. With his help… we’ll crush that cheating jerk for sure!



There’s a bunch of dishes that need cleaning. Sorry, but I’m gonna need you to help with ‘em.

Eh, fine with me, I spent the day in the Metaverse so it’s not like I’ve got an evening period to waste.

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)



That’s enough help for today. Go on and head up to bed.
Have fun. I’ll make sure I keep working on you-know-what after I’m done taking a breather. By the way, Sojiro… are people on probation even allowed out of the country?

According to that one TV quiz we saw months ago, yes!

There’s no law saying they’re not. As long as it’s fine by me, it’s fine in the eyes of the law. I mean, not letting a kid take part in school events probably wouldn’t be good for his rehab.
Huh… But if anything bad happens on the trip, it’ll be the school’s responsibility.
That’s right.

Sojiro walks offscreen.




Aren’t you gonna ask for any souvenirs from Hawaii? No hula doll or anything?
No.
Heyyy, Mona’s acting weird!



Not necessarily…
Hey, don’t let the cat up on the counter, OK?



Morgana walks upstairs.

...Weird Mona.

Music: Beneath the Mask




Thank you. Take care of yourself, Yusuke. And Futaba, we’ll be relying on you for the analysis.
Leave it to me.
Just let us know if anything comes up, k?
A-OK!
Then off we go! Look after Morgana for us.
Have a nice trip!

Part of the reason it was a good idea to go to Mementos today is that we had nothing to lose because our evening would be consumed anyway. I’m going to pretend I totally knew that before I decided to go and it wasn’t just a lucky coincidence.



Everything’s fine. You don’t need to worry about me… You should just focus on your trip. It’s tomorrow, right…?



They’re called the Phantom Thieves, and they’re at the peak of their popularity. We’re going to try to find out who they are. This spring was when they made their first appearance.
The peak of our popularity, huh? I guess we should be careful not to get too carried away.





Uh… Never mind. Have fun on your trip...

Jeez, the cat’s being a huge downer. Can’t wait to go to Hawaii and get away from his bad attitude. Next time!