Part 109: 9/19: Get SmokedPart 105: 9/19: Get Smoked
This is a legendary post.
Anon: im getting so hype rn
Anon: calling card plz!!!
Anon: Yeah, take Okumura down!!
Anon: Exploitation is not OK.
Music: Tokyo Emergency
If Harus sold off, our failure will sully the Phantom Thieves name.
Sold off? Thats a really weird way of phrasing that, man.
All right! New mission! Time to fuck around, ignore every single one of our friends and responsibilities, talk to every NPC in the game again, and blitz through the Palace in a single day, putting tremendous strain on myself as well as you, the viewing audience!
Its the governments fault. Why do they pick on people on the National Pension like us? Young people are pathetic, too. Theyre so quick to complain and claim theyre getting exploited.
Surely this cant be because theyre actually getting exploited, you fucking raisin? No, it must be those whiny children who are wrong.
You think so? I think they work just as hard as we did, dont they?
No! Theyre weak, Im telling you!
Not quite sure what that was about...
Weve been gathering stories about the corrupt bosses that people have worked for. Weve gotten tons of responses so far. People have been sending stories of such terrible things
Theyre blowing things out of proportion. Young people today are just too soft.
Kill all the old people, its the only way to be sure.
One thing were going to try to do at least a few times for the rest of the game is buy more materials and transmutable weapons wherever and whenever we can. I have no idea if Ill end up using any of this, but its worth a shot.
Oh no! The dog is sick!
Also, I guess we really are using the sold off terminology. Thats pretty uncomfortable, not gonna lie.
Huh? Kotaro seems kinda tired though
This summer was really hot, so hes a little worn out Lets leave the bad guys to the Phantom Thieves and let him rest.
Music: Tokyo Daylight
Stirring up the popularity of the Phantom Thieves was a success. Now well focus on Okumura Foods!
We shouldnt go too far Okumuras a major sponsor of ours, you know.
I told you, dont get cold feet! Our viewers cant get enough of the Phantom Thieves craze! Well get to bash both the police and the politicians. Itll be double the fun. *snicker*
That is the fate of an economic supremacist, contaminated by the surge of darkness!
Stand up, Phantom Thieves! Apostles of the Sun! Go and fulfill the will of the Sun God!
Please remember this: The Phantom Thieves only exist thanks to the Sun God!
Thinking about what happened with Okumura Foods made me realize that
Im not sure thats a good comparison Anyway, how old did you tell your boyfriend you were?
...I told him I was 15 years younger than I really am.
Okay, I dont mean to alarm anyone, but between her description as Young-looking Woman, her previous obsession with Akechi, and her rather extreme predilection for dating men massively younger than her, I think this woman might be an actual pedophile.
Oh? Whats this? Blue text?
Kishi? That dude we did a change of heart for like two weeks ago?
A...All right. Thank you!
Knock it out of the park and the drinks are on me! Just be ready for an all-night rager!
No, no, noooI cant. My wife would kill me.
Looks like the change of heart worked.
Its all lies! Everyones out to get Okumura Foods because theyre jealous of its success!
Are you sure? My husband, he never receives any overtime pay, so I wonder if theyll pin this on the CEO. He should probably just admit the truth. Ohoho
The girls love lines like that. Its all thanks to the Phantom Thieves!
Hoho, youre starting to get the hang of it. Hit a homerun with that Love Thief line, did you?
Actually, the Love Thief line didnt work out so well. I always hear its lame and hard to get...
Oh, got you interested, huh? Well, if thats the case, you ought to see our new product!
Dont be so full of yourself, kid. Im no Phantom Thief, but I can make you beg for forgiveness, too.
Who knows? Its not as flashy a target as Medjed though. Companies all over the country exploit their workers. Will taking down one of them change anything?
Im sure it will affect public opinion. I guess well sit back and watch what they do.
Ugh, dont tell me what to do, you annoying jerk.
Whoa, its true! Shes a real-life tsundere maid! Yeah, harsh on the outside, and shy on the inside.
In case youve never watched a bad anime and thus dont know what tsundere means, its basically what this dude just described, summed up in the oft-used phrase, its not like I like you or anything.
Gross Gross, gross gross! Dont come near me!
A fair response.
Must be a leak from the opposition party. I read about that on a news blog.
See for yourself. Just search for Okumura Foods in the archives and youll find a lot of articles.
Dont worry! I cut my losses! If I want to rule the market, I should know when to back out! Im gonna live as a trader. No, I was born to be a trader!
Huh? Wait, what about your job?
Didnt I tell you? I quit! Well rrrevolutionize ourselves and live like celebrities!
This game has so many pure, wonderful idiots.
But now, the real reason we came to the arcade.
...Thats the King.
Oh, Ive heard about him. Hes just a little guy, huh? Must still be in grade school Hes dual-wielding ?
! No It cant be...
*ahem* Sorry, Im terminally incapable of hearing the words dual-wielding and not freaking out after the copious amounts of SAO Ive consumed.
Yeah, hes playing two opponents all by himself. And its still too easy for him.
The King may have some tips on how to defeat the cheater. I should negotiate with him...
Music: Break it Down
Dont take it personal; I turn everyone down. ...Later.
Annoying, huh ? Oh, you mean that guy who cheats. It really makes me mad when he does that But I can still beat him, so I dont really care. Just forget about him.
So, youre saying you wanna beat the cheater? You seem like a nice guy but just let it go. The Phantom Thieves are really cool, arent they!? Are you a fan, too? Have you ever met them?
Oh god, I just noticed that his jacket says NOOB in addition to the GET SMOKED cap, this is amazing.
But, um Teaching you how to play Gun About wont be easy And I wont get anything out of it
Geez, youre really persistent. Im just a grade schooler, yknow. How about this I wanna get to know the Phantom Thieves.
...Its probably impossible, but if you can help me do that, then Ill teach you how to play. Well, whaddaya say? Is it a deal?
Its a big ask, kid, but I like your moxie. Lets do this!
...Wait, what? Youre not gonna say no!? Well, if you really want to THAT much, then I thought for sure you were gonna give up Wow, I didnt see this coming. But the Phantom Thieves hide their true identities, right? Are you sure I can get to know them?
Huh? Youre gonna tell them my name? My names Shinya Oda. Tell the Phantom Thieves my name, and have them post it somewhere only theyd be able to access. Thatll be good enough as an autograph, and proof that they know my name.
We need something credible for this kid to believe us. Didnt Futaba say she hacked into Gun Abouts server or something? Lets bring this up with her. Might lead us to some good ideas.
Music: Tokyo Emergency
Futaba isnt actually available to hang out today, but activating this stage of the Shinya sidequest summoned her. However, we still cant hang out with her, because the game will make us go back to Shinya instead once were done here.
So, did he tell you how to take down that cheater?
Hes going to, on one condition: he wants us to introduce him to the Phantom Thieves. We cant just give ourselves away though. Thats where you come in. Maybe you could hack into the Gun About server and do something?
But we wont be able to get in touch with him that way
A calling card ? What are we going to steal?
Oh, how about the home page? I already hacked into it, so its as good as stolen!
After you already used the home page once to send a message to that cheater, youd think theyd have closed that glaring vulnerability.
Hm, OK. Ill write a calling card saying that were going to steal the Gun About home page. After that, youll need to leave evidence that the Phantom Thieves hacked into it. The King will have no choice but to believe it was really us.
Oooh, this sounds like fun. Ill put our logo smack dab at the top of the front page.
Perfect. Well go see the King. Oh, and well let you know before we talk to him, so wait for our word to start the hacking.
All right, you can count on me.
Should we ask Futaba about the hacking?
Itll be fine! Leave it to me! OK, Im hacking in now.
Music: Whats Going On?
So, uh Shinya. Oh sweet, innocent Shinya.
So, Shinya is voiced by Barbara Goodson, probably best known as Laharl from Disgaea (and fucking Rita Repulsa, how could I possibly forget) and its really just a hell of a performance. Heres the entire event, just so you can hear it, but click wisely.
Huh? HUH? Theres something written on it Thanks for your support. Please help those in need. This is a promise to you from the Phantom Thieves: Were going to post a secret message, just for you, on the games official website. Is Is this for real? I mean, you can probably just buy one of these cards at the store
You were gone for like an hour, dude. I may be twelve but Im not fuckin stupid.
Just like they did on Medjeds site! Which means you were able to contact the real Phantom Thieves! No way! Howd you do it?
Thats so cool So they want to remain anonymous Wow, I cant believe they sent me a message I wasnt expecting much from you, Hamiru-san, but youre actually pretty cool. I wish I was able to talk with themor somethingthough But you fulfilled your part of the deal, so Ill teach you how to shoot.
Music: Wicked Plan
You should be able to inflict a lot of damage to the cheater this way. ...Lets get started.
...Cmon, you gotta aim.
...No, no, no. Youre just stopping their movement by doing that.
Are you taking this seriously!? You gotta focus on your second shot!
Hes almost like a different person when he gets mad. His instructions are precise, but also spartan-like...
...No hes not?
Thats what happens when he teams up with another player. And why everyone also watches him from a distance
The second line there is delivered really strangely. The actor was clearly going for sardonic but it comes out as rushed to meet non-existent lip flaps.
I think youll be able to beat that cheater now.
Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)
Do you? Because it didnt happen today!
But I think you have a lot of potential. More than most people! If you want I can teach you a few other moves too! I have the ultimate trump card. So tell me more about the Phantom Thieves!
Whats this kid gonna want in return though? Are we gonna have to show up in-costume to Shinyas birthday party?
Ive made a deal with Shinya...
Music: Interrogation Room
Either you taught yourself or you had a capable coach by your side Where did you learn how to handle a gun!?
I learned it from a child whos really good at a video game. Whats that look for? Im telling the truth, cop.
Music: The Spirit
Yeeeeep, forming a Confidant with this young child, what of it
So, Tower is an interesting arcana, symbolizing destruction, revelation, and sudden change. When reversed, it represents avoidance of disaster and fear of change. Its probably the most universally negative card in the deck.
Down Shot lets us spend all the ammunition in our clip to down a single enemy. This is pretty much only worth it on Treasure Demons and enemies without weaknesses due to the exorbitant ammunition cost, but its still handy occasionally. It should also go without saying that its fucking worthless on bosses, just like every other interesting part of combat in this game.
Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)
I gotta go. See ya later!
Interacting with Shinya has made my heart grow I feel like my Kindness has increased...
Maaku gains Kindness +3.
Music: Beneath the Mask
I truly apologize for what has happened in this case.
But Im the newest member. I need to act respectfully.
We dont really pay mind to those kinds of things. Furthermore, youre already one of us.
Thank you, Mako-chan.
...Do you mean me?
Sorry, I think my fingers typed that subconsciously Im just so glad to have found a friend my age.
Not a problem. That personal touch is actually refreshing.
Great. I hope we get to be the bestest of friends, Mako-chan.
Uh, sorry bout that. I sorta got carried away
We have a new message from Mishima, while were here.
And if the land speculators arent coming by, they can actually start showing movies there again!
That might be a good place to go see a movie! You should invite someone to go with you sometime!
It has become clear that harsh work conditions are the norm at Okumura Foods. Escalating criticism of President Okumura has considerably worsened the companys public image.
Our targets Okumura! People will definitely stop bugging us once we actually take him down!
Shady Commodities time!
Music: Dark Net
This site uses text-to-speech for an easy-to-understand shopping experience!
We can only have one package incoming at a time, and the more we spend the more will be available. Simple.
Forget any silly doubts or skepticism you might have, and just sign up now!
This site is incredibly shady So, are you gonna sign up?
...Is it really OK to use your real name on a site like this?
Itll be fiiiiiiiiiiine.
Hello, and welcome to Tanakas Shady Commodities! Mr. Hamiru, youve opened the door to possibilities that normal people can only dream of! Now, you can find all the rate items you could possibly want!
Were just going to buy literally everything we can: the Nirvana Ring, the Black Rock, the Five-inch Nail, and three Condenser Lenses. The Nirvana Ring gives high resistance to Bless damage. The Black Rock lets us transmute a Persona into an accessory. The Five-inch Nail deals 50 Curse damage to a foe, which is useful if you dont have that on a Persona yet but not that useful because you cant buy them in bulk. The Condenser Lenses are just crafting materials.
Good news, Mr. Hamiru! Wh-Why, youve already spent over 10,000 yen! Your member rank is now Black! Now you can purchase all of our Black-tier products! Your order will arrive soon. We understand your excitement, but we ask for your patience! We hope to see you again soon!
Fun fact: Tanakas is the only portrait in the entire game with no animations. Well, I assume. I didnt actually check.
Music: Beneath the Mask
Ha Heh Hahahahaha!
Me OK? Yer the one talkin to a rock jus sittin on the shide of the road But even a rock like me cn help people! Throw me! Jus throw me at th evil corporationsh!
All three responses are about the same, which is a bit disappointing coming from our old friend Drunken Souse.
Thats dumb! A phone is way better. If you had one, you could look at the Phantom Thieves fan site!
Oh, thatd be so cool! They have rankings and stuff, right?
Yeah, its really popular right now! Im gonna ask my parents to get me a phone too.
I didnt go to college to wind up at a company like that.
Anyways, buuuddy, while the Phantom Thieves take care of those assholes We party, party, party!
Yes, even though many were skeptical of them until recently.
We hate to think, therefore we are easily controlled. Japan is becoming a country of imbeciles.
I guess that means theres going to be people making a fortune off of them again.
The Phantom Thievesll take care of him. Dont you worry. I hope they do it soon, too.
The fire department back home wouldve come to the rescue right quick.
Aaaaand this conversations over.
Thats so messed up! They treat their employees like livestock!
Im glad my manager doesnt treat me like that
Young people seem excited about them too. Theyre saying its a sign that times are changing. I hope their next target is that hotshot president. That guys an enemy to office workers everywhere.
Theyll target the president if they call themselves heroes. They already got my hopes up.
Shut up, you chunky, hunky cake of beef!
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother transcribing these fuckers dialogue.
Just you watch! Ill reveal the Phantom Thieves as the monsters they really are!
What are you talking about? When you get angry, youre more of a monster than they are!
This is important, you idiot. How do you think we get by? Theyre a real important sponsor, one we cant afford to lose, so we gotta take good care of them!
Lets hang with Sojiro tonight.
Sorry, and thanks. Oh The regularsll be here any minute.
What are you doing, people!? Grab your muskets!
I question whether anyone will understand that joke, but the idea of making a goof no one will get kinda cracks me up anyway, so its worth it.
Music: Break it Down
All I want in a relationship is spicy stimulation followed by some smooth, relaxing comfort. And I can get both of those things from my curry and my coffee. Thats enough for me.
He always dodges my questions like that. Hes so clever. By the way, what are your thoughts on So-chans life of solitude?
Anyway, the only thing I care about in life is making sure my customers are satisfied.
Also, your teenage daughter. I assume, anyway.
Nothing makes me happier than seeing people relax in here. Come back anytime, OK?
But I guess food service relies on keeping the right distance from people Not too far, not too close.
Shit, havent seen this guy in a while.
Well I just learned something VERY interesting! Futabas been shut off from both school and society this whole time, huh? Thats not good parenting.
Yeah? And what have YOU done to care for her?
You know quite well what Ive done and its about time you pay up.
Dont be ridiculous. Futaba had a terrible life living with you Plus, I already gave you most of the inheritance for custody! Is that still not enough for you!?
We could always find out in court. I wonder whod win between a blood relative and a mere legal guardian
Oh, and not to mention that kid you have here! Ive heard all about him and his criminal record. That leaves us with a parent who wont let her go to school and a delinquent housemate on probation Doesnt quite seem to be the best environment for Futaba, now does it?
Y-You have a problem, punk!? Ill sue you for intimidation!
Futaba-chan! Long time no see!
See what Im saying? Shes a total wreck. This is clearly not a healthy situation.
Shes only like this because she saw you here!
Hmph, dont make me repeat myself You cant beat me in court, so you may as well just give me the money.
Well, I hope you reach the right decision! Bye now!
Bye now!? Thats what he says after threatening to strip Sojiro of custody? Are he and Sae friends or something?
That man is Futabas uncle.
Its actually not that surprising. He alluded multiple times to being related to Futaba.
After Wakaba died, Futaba was passed around all her relatives His place was the last. He treated her like garbage. He never fed her, and forced her to sleep on the floor like an animal. He didnt even let her bathe Once I learned that, I knew I had to step in.
My god, this dude is a fucking cartoon supervillain. This is the plot of the unproduced third Rescuers film, isnt it?
I couldnt stand for that kind of horrible treatment, so I decided to take Futaba under my care. Even back then, he was whining about all the damn expenses. I threw some cash his way, thinking that would put the issue to bed but now hes back for more. I dont even know how he managed to find me here Maybe paying him was a mistake.
Either way though, its my fault Futaba didnt leave her room. I just didnt know how to help her through it Id make curry, leave it by her door, and go. If not for you, Id probably still be waiting for her to come out.
They say bloods thicker than water, right? I wonder whatd be the best for Futaba
Not that fucking dude! Holy shit, are you really considering this!?
Haha Look at me, spilling my heart out to a punk like you. Though its kinda weird. For some reason, I just feel like telling you this stuff. Its like youre peering into my heart Heh, I guess there really is something special about you.
I feel like my bond with Sojiro is growing deeper...
Theres really no reason to be making coffee at this point in the game, especially once you unlock Affinity Reading, so Ive never made use of Coffee Mastery. From what I hear, though, it upgrades coffees SP restoration from 30 to 100. Not bad.
I should be heading home. Im still worried about Futaba. Dont stay up too late, you hear? Oh, and thanks.
I can see the compassion hidden beneath Sojiros actions I feel my Kindness growing
Maaku gains Kindness +3.