Part 110: 9/20-9/21: Fucking Mishima

Part 106: 9/20-9/21: Fucking Mishima



Anon: If they don’t, who will?
Anon: first step to world peace

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)



I do have some Big Bang Burger coupons, but we… probably shouldn’t go there anymore, huh?
Uh, no. I hear you’ll have a psychotic breakdown if you eat there. I mean, haven’t all of Okumura’s enemies died in strange ways? Maybe he feeds them poisoned burgers… What a monster.

Why would he poison his own customers, idiot?

You know, I voted Okumura on the Phan-Site… The Phantom Thieves have a duty to punish bad people. I hope they take care of him soon.

Music: Tokyo Daylight



Back to school! …More talking.



All the craziness that’s happening is freaking me out. You think the Phantom Thieves’ll save us again?
Hmm, they’re probably too busy for us right now. First, they have to focus on Okumura!





That’s the spirit!



Hamiru-kun drew this? It’s like, totally perfect.
So Hamiru’s part of the Phandom too? This is awesome!
It kinda feels like the Phantom Thieves are gods or something. They’re fighting for all of us!
I wish they’d pick up the pace though. I can’t wait much longer!
They should just get moving on that shithead executive! Enough loafing around!
Phantom Thieves! Phantom Thieves!

Oh dear.



Not helping, cat!




How is this news just now getting out?



The newspaper club must stand strong despite it all. Go ahead and tell me what you want to know.

But aren’t you the entire newspaper club…? Eh, whatever.



Some say the Phantom Thieves are responsible, but it’s apparently confirmed to be suicide.

By a liar!

I wonder if there was anything we could have done to prevent this from happening…



Big Bang is attracting a lot of interest. It’s already pretty well known among high school students. Employee exploitation by companies is a social issue, so it might be interesting to do a feature on it.



I’m surprised you know about her! Most people don’t know that Okumura-senpai is the daughter of the Okumura who runs that company.

Because they’re all idiots!



People find out this company is exploiting its employees, and some look to the Phantom Thieves. The extremists are asking them to strike already. Maybe the Phantom Thieves are tired of it by now.



Yeah, I’ve seen her around. She takes care of the flowers in front of the school.
I heard she’s engaged. Can you believe that? She’s still in high school!
She lives in a different world. This school is just too weird…



Oh, that was you. I knew I felt someone looking at me. Well.. We could start off as friends.
Yes…! This is my chance! Er, I mean, uh… Thank you… very much!

Mogami needed two full months to say that?



Who cares? Actually, shouldn’t you worry about how this might affect recommendations? I’m seriously going to be angry if I can’t get a recommendation because of all this!

Shujin is a wonderful school full of compassionate students and caring faculty.



It’s crazy how it all gets back to Shujin Academy again. So President Okumura is their next target?
I’m sure he is since he’s hit the top rank so fast. I can’t wait to see him break down and grovel.
I guess that’s what happens when you cut down labor costs too much. Business management is tough work.

“Treat your workers like human beings” is real tough, yeah.



That vicious transfer student,--
I’m right here, dude.
--a suicide attempt, sex crimes by a teacher, our principal died…
You’re right. That is a lot to happen in just one year. Maybe this school really is cursed.
That makes sense. A curse would explain why we can’t get any decent members or win any games.



The food there is cheap, but it’s filling. It might suck if Big Bang weren’t around anymore.
Nah, bad guys should be punished. And those press conferences where they apologize are fun to watch.



You don’t like places like that either, do you, Sensei?
Of course not. But it isn’t always clear whether or not something can be considered exploitation.
Whaaat? Really? Then maybe we should just get rid of all companies!



If I had only paid more attention. I failed to save him as a Phantom Thief of Hearts.



It’s kind of you to say that. Don’t worry. I won’t make that kind of mistake ever again. Yes, this is a test from fate. I’ll do all I can to live up to everyone’s faith in me!




We haven’t hung out with Ryuji in… *checks* ...literally four months. Let’s rectify that!

Huh…? You sure we’re gonna be OK not headin’ in?



...Eh, I guess it ain’t gonna hurt gettin’ a change of pace. So, uh… I’ve been thinkin’ about what to do with the track team… But I realized I’m not the kinda guy to come up with epic plans that can save the day. So, I think I’m gonna do this the one way I know how. Can you come with?



I’ve gotta tell Nakaoka and Takeishi what’s goin’ on with that asshole of a teacher… I mean, there’s no way the track team’s gonna make a comeback without them. Come with me to the courtyard, man.

Music: Suspicion





You prolly didn’t realize, but I recorded Yamauchi’s whole convo back at the monja shop! I’m a genius, I know.



That’s your whole plan? You intimated you had something… I don’t know… dumber up your sleeve a minute ago. Also, I’m shocked you managed to figure out how to record a phone call.

Anyways, uh… I might need some backup here. Can you stick around?




Nakaoka!? Wh-What the hell!? Are you guys gonna gang up on me!?
Dude, chill. I just wanna talk. Listen. This here is what’s really goin’ on with the track team.



…… And the best part is, not only are Takeishi’s parents loaded, but his mother’s the president of the PTA. …… But until then, he can show the others the value of obedience.



Is this real…?
It’s Yamauchi’s voice, ain’t it? And on top of that, shit’s gone down just like he said.
…… Yamauchi’s right. I don’t have talent… I’m not like you guys. I ran so damn hard, but you two were always so far ahead… How’s a guy like me supposed to succeed? How am I supposed to be proud of myself!?



My dad always talks about how proud he is of his son… He told everyone I’d get a track scholarship like he did… That I’d follow in his footsteps as a second-generation Taisei grad…

From a cursory Google, Taisei (full name Taisei Gakuin University) appears to be a private university in Osaka, though it only gained its current name in 2003, so I’m not sure it’s the one this guy is referring to because his dad would probably use the old name. Also, the one I found isn’t actually ranked that high in terms of Japan’s universities, so actually it’s pretty unlikely that this kid is dying to get in anyway. I’m just going to assume they made a school up.

That’s why I listened to Yamauchi. He said if I was the captain, he’d write me a great letter of rec…
...So you trusted what he was sayin’ about Nakaoka ‘cause of stupid crap like that?

Ryuji: master of tact.



You couldn’t know how I feel… Nobody does!
Like hell I don’t know!



Sakamoto…

Music: Alleycat



Maybe you should stop tryin’ to live for them, and just try livin’ for yourself. You think you gotta betray people to be proud?
W-Well, I…
If that’s seriously what you think, you’re wrong!



I mean, the bastard’s never been interested in track before… But you kept quiet. You knew he was walkin’ all over you, and you just let him do it.
...Yeah. I was afraid… Without Yamauchi, we still wouldn’t have a team… or a place to belong.
...You missed runnin’ that bad? Y’know… it ain’t so scary not havin’ a place you belong. You can kinda be free that way. If anything, I’m more scared of bein’ a crappy person. I mean, I used to be like you guys… afraid, lyin’ to myself…

“Man, I’m glad I’m not awful anymore, like you guys are.”

That is, before I met this dude.




So… if you wanna hit me or something, go ahead. I’m ready.
In that case…
If you insist.






Music: Alright (Elp Version)



Woohoo! Violence toward a domestic abuse victim as comedy!

Hahaha, I’m actually starting to feel a little better already.
Me too. I think I can finally put all of this behind me. Nakoaka… I’m sorry.
I’m sorry too. So… you wanna bring back the track team?
Hell yeah!






...Thanks.




For real though… you were a big help. You were pushin’ me to be cool that whole time. It’s kinda like I was doin’ a sprint… and you were runnin’ next to me.






And now Ryuji gets Endure. Given that he’s pretty much a mainstay in our party at this point, this will be very helpful.



I think my mouth’s bleedin’, so we’ll hafta eat some other time. Later!

Music: Beneath the Mask



Are you among those who are waiting to see the president of that company meet his judgment?



Haha, I appreciate your honesty. I also can’t deny the excitement I feel in my heart. It’s clear that they have power. They have an ethical obligation to use it wisely. The pressure and expectations that burden exceptional people… I know it well, hahaha.



He has testified that he claimed to be a phantom thief in his post because he wanted the attention.

Wait, if he was just arrested, how could he have also testified? The more formal definition of that word specifically relates to statements made in court.

Police have warned people to be cautious of crimes that exploit the Phantom Thieves bandwagon.
I wish people would stop pulling stunts like this. But maybe this happens once you become famous.



Ugh, my head hurts…
Sojiro seems concerned about Futaba’s uncle… Is it OK for me to stick my nose into Sojiro’s and Futaba’s problem…?

YOU’RE A FUCKING PHANTOM THIEF, MY DUDE, THAT’S ALL YOU DO



And so we need Rank 5 Kindness to progress Sojiro’s Confidant further.

Music: Layer Cake



Iwai time!

I got work for you to do around the shop today. ...You got some time later?



All right, come to the back when you’ve finished.



...It’s about that secret Tsuda mentioned. There’s more to it than my havin’ been in the yakuza. I just wanna make sure you don’t go sayin’ somethin’ stupid if you run into Kaoru ‘round here…

Music: Suspicion



She had this baby with her, and the whole time she was there she kept goin’ on about how she wanted to sell it.



Figured she was just some cracked-up junkie lookin’ for drug money. But then when I told her no, she sat the baby down and ran off. ...That baby was Kaoru.



Thinkin’ back on it, I’m still not really sure why I took him in…

Yakuza™ 6: The Song of Life coming to PS4 April 17th! Preorder your special edition copy today and receive a hardcover art book, as well as…



...two drink glasses, two coasters, and some fucking ice stones for some goddamn reason (????)! Sure, why not?

What were we talking about? Oh right, bad parenting.

Not only did I have to leave the clan, but now I’m stuck runnin’ this shop I don’t even like. *chuckle* Every day’s an uphill battle. I still haven’t managed to tell Kaoru I was in the yakuza though…



...Lemme ask you somethin’. How would you feel if you found out your parents were wrapped up in some dirty shit?

Well, it’s implied our parents kinda suck already, so I doubt we’d care that much.

That’s how my mom was. She’d spend every night out drinkin’, runnin’ around town with all sortsa guys.

“And then when she got home she was mercilessly slutshamed by me! It was disgraceful all around!”

I couldn’t stand to see her destroy herself like that. Often I wished I could’ve had someone else as my mom.

I mean, yeah, she sounds pretty irresponsible, but the part about the guys just seems kinda unnecessary, Iwai. I thought you were cool.

So… I didn’t wanna make Kaoru go through the same thing. I wanted to make sure he had a good childhood. That’s why I left the clan. I did everythin’ according to the code, but now Tsuda’s draggin’ me back… Once he remembered I run this fake gun shop, he came by askin’ me to make custom models for him.

We should get Iwai and Ryuji together to plot their ongoing war against the letter “G.”



Truth is, Tsuda’s got all sortsa dirt. Not just on what happened when Kaoru was a baby, but on me and the rest of my family too. Who knows what’d happen if Kaoru learned the truth… When it’s all said and done, he’s gonna try and take everythin’ I have. If word gets out about my past, people’re gonna treat Kaoru like he’s no different than me. After all, everyone knows shitty parents end up makin’ shitty kids… And once he’s got that stigma, he’ll be stuck with it. When shit goes wrong, he’ll always be the one who gets blamed. That’s how it was with me.

So, you’re trying to prevent Kaoru or anyone else from finding out that you used to be in the yakuza. But you still work at a shady-ass fake gun shop. How is that better? Also, I feel like it’d be really easy to find out you used to be in the yakuza! You even have a neck tattoo, dude!

...That’s why I turned to the yakuza. Nobody else would accept me. That’s also why I can’t turn Tsuda down. He’s just got too much power.




I bet Kaoru’s sick of havin’ a weak-ass dad like me. Anyways, I was tryin’ to stall Tsuda with bullshit prototypes while I figured out a way to stop him… But that bastard’s real good as keepin’ his cards close to his chest. Plus, he caught wind of what I was tryin’ to do and started keepin’ tabs on me 24/7.

Well, that can’t be economical for him.

Thankfully, that’s just about when you showed up, kid. *sigh* Sorry for bringin’ all that shit up out of the blue. ...You prolly don’t want anythin’ to do with me after that, huh?




Iwai likes it when we neg him, apparently.

Oh, right. Just remembered I never gave you a reward for that info. Hm… How about I give you a discount on the special menu? That should keep you quiet for a while. Pretty good deal, huh?
It feels like my bond with Iwai is growing even deeper...



Oh hey, a discount for the service we’ve never once used and may never end up using because as it turns out it’s not very good. How swell.

Kaoru’s been eatin’ a ton lately after cram school. He’s prolly gonna have another growth spurt soon. Anyways, I’m closin’ up for today. You should head home too.
I feel like helping Iwai with his work has honed my Proficiency...

Maaku gains Proficiency +2.

Take it easy, kid.



Anon: Make him beg!

Music: So Boring




–is an important work in the history of literature for being the first to use the word “robot.”
Duh. Make him have a change of heart. These corrupt companies should just go bankrupt!
Hey! You’re in class right now! Quit talking about Okumura and the Phantom Thieves! Geez… Hamiru-kun! You were listening at least, right? The word “robot” didn’t come from English. So, what country did it come from?



Well, the word “robot” actually comes from an old Czech word--
Robotnik.
--meaning slave--
And we’re not slaves.
We’re very, very happy.

That’s right. It originated from Czechoslovakia, a European country. I suppose the question was a little obscure.

It’s literally my favorite fucking movie, woman.

The word “robot” comes from the Czech word “robota.”

Oh.

“Robota” actually means “slave labor.”

Maaku gains Knowledge +1.

Existing only for slave labor… Even from the origin of their name, robots are pitiful.

Yikes.

Well, you could argue we’re not too different ourselves, having to keep working in order to live…
She seems tired…

That’s sexist, David Tennant. For shame.

But anyhow, if Okumura doesn’t see others as people, we need to change his heart!

Music: Tokyo Daylight






We need more points with Iwai to reach the next rank.



And we get them!

Music: Tokyo Emergency

For whatever reason, instead of playing in Shibuya, the “operation active” theme for this segment of the game plays in Yongen. Weird.



Today’s a Futaba kind of day.

Whaddya wanna do today?



You know we’re in the middle of an operation, right? Are you sure you don’t wanna infiltrate…?



R-Really? Eh, I guess I can’t complain too much since you’re hanging out with me. If you’re free, it’s promise list time! What should we do next?




This is obviously spelled incorrectly in multiple different ways, but given Futaba, I’m not sure it’s actually unintentional.

Get in there! Go, go!

Music: What’s Going On?



“Learn about my generation.”

Question 1: “Why don’t you all _______?”

Wait, I think I can do the next one too! “Have a normal conversation with a stranger my age”! Hmmm, where can I find lots of young people…? By jove, I think I’ve got it! Let us be off, Maaku!
Wow, you guys have actually started getting pretty close. Not like that’s a bad thing though. Anyway, be careful out there.



I’ve heard all about the unlimited fountain drinks at these places… Well…? Where are they? I don’t see ‘em anywhere!



Oh goddammit

Oh crap, and you’re with a girl…?
Is this a friend of yours?



THIS IS THE BEST DIALOGUE OPTION IN THE ENTIRE GAME

Hmmm. How ‘bout I ask him to help with my promise?

Please no.

What promise…?
W-Wellll…



So, wait. You’re saying that you, a girl… want to talk to… me? I see. In that case, I guess I don’t have a choice. Nope, none whatsoever. I’ll just have to help you out.

Oh fuck, the nerd’s getting his hopes up!

Oooh, you’re so nice!

Yeah, nice. That’s certainly a word you might use, especially capitalized and in conjunction with the word “Guy.”

My name’s Futaba Sakura, and don’t you forget it!
U-Uh, OK… I’m Yuuki Mishima, but everyone just calls me Mishima…
Hrmhrmhrm. It seems like help always comes my way when I need it most. Maybe my luck stat’s really high.





Music: My Homie



Youth… The unknown frontier…
Hm, maybe I should try talking about my hobbies…

This isn’t a date, Mishima.

Do you like computers?
Mm, I’m always online.
Me too! What sites do you use? I usually keep to forums myself… Or are you more into streaming? I’d gladly subscribe to your channel.



you can’t see it, obviously, but i’m fucking apoplectic right now

i have literally never been this angry, and i doubt i can even get angrier



OH HEY MOTHERFUCKER, TURNS OUT I COULD

...Wait. What the fuck did you just say?





Holy shit dude, what the hell is wrong with you? Using internet-speak or memes in real life is something I thought we just fucking understood was verboten as members of a civilized society. The only person you should be discussing that shit with is your goddamn psychiatrist. I let Futaba off the hook for it because she’s socially stunted, what’s your excuse?



WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

...I’m shaking right now. Fu--Mothe--Shi--Godda--Hm. None of these are working. Excuse me for a moment.



...”Cock” isn’t that creative, guys.

Okay, so listen here… *consults notes* ...fucktrumpet. I treat you with respect—not a lot, but certainly more than you deserve—and you bring this curse upon my family!? What the hell is wrong with you!? This is the end, asshat. You ever set foot near either one of us again I may actually murder you, Mishima. No court will possibly convict me. Say one more word and I’ll leap across this fucking table, so help me...

H-Huh? That’s all you took from that conversation…?

*low pitched whirring sound* Oh, hey. Thanks to a flaw in my programming, it seems my “Rage” value overflowed and reset back to zero! How quaint!



Ah, I’ve got it! The overwhelmingly forgettable appearance, generic speech style, and total lack of sex appeal… Nishima… Are you an NPC!?



So, the “correct” answer, “He’s the protagonist,” gives us three notes. “Savage” gives us none. Picking the third option here will give us enough points to proceed to the next rank, while the second will not. However, not only is the second option much funnier than the third, I’m not going to fucking compliment Mishima, are you insane!?

So, yes, I am actually, legitimately derailing this playthrough for the sake of giving Mishima a single minor burn. It’s worth it.

But it’d be even more savage to lie about what he is! And besides, NPCs are an important piece in the jigsaw puzzle of gaming!
You’re not making this any better…! And more importantly, my name isn’t Nishima…!

He doesn’t even correct her if you don’t pick this option. Laaaame.

Anyway, I’m glad you spawned here! I killed two promises with one Nishima today! “Learn about my generation” and “have a normal conversation with a stranger my age”! Aw yeah! I think I gained a ton of EXP on this adventure. And it’s all ‘cause you brought me here, Maaku. Thanks!
I can sense Futaba’s innocent joy...




Anyway, uh… what are you doing after this?

Don’t you fucking dare

Going home.
O-Oh… Right…

Well, at least we got to watch Mishima get shot down.

C’mon, Maaku! We’re off!

Music: Beneath the Mask



Okumura Foods has gotten a lot of flak for how its work conditions have worsened in recent years. It’s believed that significantly more workers are suffering than the general public is aware of. Some say it’s natural to rely on the Phantom Thieves when the government has been ineffective.
He really is a bad guy… And we’re the only ones who can take him down.

You know what we’ve never done? Visited Akihabara at night. Let’s go see what’s up!



And as you can see, there’s… fucking nothing here, because all the people left and all the shops are closed! Whoops! Hey, who’s… Oh. Hey Mishima, when did you relocate here? (He relocated here pretty much as soon as this place unlocked)



The Phan-Site’s blowing up! So, you did the request I asked you to do. Thanks! Hey, um… There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. It’s super important. Do you think you can make some time right now?



Hey, Mishima, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for getting so upset at your casual use of internet language that has become inextricably associated with both rampant right-wing authoritarianism and white nationalism as well as just being a terminally lame asshole. I know it’s not your fault, you can’t help being so offputting. Let’s hang out tonight, just you and me. I know we haven’t done that in a while.

You’re the only one I can talk to about this. We should go somewhere quiet if possible… How about Inokashira Park?

Music: My Homie



Mishima looks around for eavesdroppers, then continues.



This one’s massive!





He’s great at acting, has solid conversational skills… He’s even been in all sorts of commercials. If you manage to change his heart, everyone will HAVE to start paying attention to the Phantom Thieves. ...He’s gotta be doing some shady stuff, I just know it.



You guys might not believe this, but I’m starting to regret deciding to hang out with Mishima tonight!

And no, I’m not saying that out of jealousy. I heard a rumor that a famous idol fell into his clutches… You need to act, on behalf of her fans!

...Are you one of her fans?




Anyway, isn’t it your job to listen to the public’s wishes? You have to change his heart!



Well? Pretty good tactic, huh? Aren’t I an amazing producer? Just you wait… I’m gonna put the Phantom Thieves on the map! You’ll practically be swimming in requests!



Mishima’s motivation seems to be growing stronger…



Music: Suspicion



I’m not boring… I’m not a zero… …….

Uhhhhhhh

Hey, take out your phone.





Don’t worry… This request will boost your popularity, guaranteed. After all, I’m the only reason you guys have gotten this far, right?



Sure thing, bud. Sure thing.



The Phantom Thieves’ success is thanks to me… and the Phantom Thieves are changing the world… That means I’m the one who’s responsible for those changes…





...Bye.

Well, this has been a one-two punch of some of Mishima’s Most Embarrassing Hits, but at least we can go to bed, end the update, and not have to see any more of him for the time bei--



Huh…? Who could that be at this hour…?

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)



GOD

DAMMIT

MISHIMA

Are you into that stuff, Hamiru? Oh, right. You probably need all sorts of tools like that for your Phantom Thieves work. Well, how about it? It’ll be the perfect way to spend the day off!
Akihabara, huh… Well do you want to go with Mishima to the electronics shop?

The electronics shop visit gives us points with Mishima (literally useless) and Chihaya, who we don’t need points with. As such, this decision makes itself.



Oh sweet heavens, hitting “Decline” has never felt so good.



You’re not interested in electronics? Or did you have something else to do?

I just like disappointing Mishima, cat. And after the day I’ve had, I deserve to do something I like.