The Let's Play Archive

Persona 5

by Arist

Part 98: 9/1-9/2: Wherein I Waste Everyone’s Time By Fucking Around For Half The Update

Part 96: 9/1-9/2: Wherein I Waste Everyone’s Time By Fucking Around For Half The Update

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)

Ooh, a uniform!

You look great. Surprisingly.
Futaba says she’s going to shift to living a morning person’s life.
A healthy mission starts with a healthy lifestyle.

In regard to the so-called “Phantom Thieves” events that have been a hot topic among the general public… The prime minister held a press conference at his official residence to address the problem.
The government acknowledges the current rumors of the group called the Phantom Thieves. We are currently confirming facts with the police and wish to deal with it in an appropriate--
Even the prime minister’s talking about the Phantom Thieves?
They’re allies of justice, after all.
They change hearts, huh…? I wonder if it’s true.
Looks like we’re finally being recognized across the country.

In all honesty, I think you guys are managing great. It’s all thanks to my amazing guidance. Let’s find clues on that case as soon as we can too, and resolve it ourselves. ...For Futaba’s sake too.
...You two really get along, don’t you? You’re gonna be late if you don’t get going soon.
Good luck on your student duties.

We’ve even received messages about how the Phantom Thieves are all students talk about these days.

I thought it was just an ordinary website…
Lately they’ve added a polling feature to ask who you’d like to see have a change of heart.

Goddammit, Mishima. Was that your big new idea? I can’t see this going wrong, no sir.

Given people’s heightened expectations, it’s been receiving a lot of votes.
Huh… Maybe I should go vote for our company president. “Change his heart so he’ll raise our salaries!” Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

Not like I did anything during summer break. I gust stayed in and played online games.
Nothing you could’ve done this summer would’ve topped the Phantom Thieves! Hacking Medjed back and all the other stuff—it was totally nuts!
Everyone online was waiting for the deadline to hit. People sure do love the Phantom Thieves. Speaking of, have you checked out the Phan-Site recently? They added a bunch of new stuff, including the option to rank people to get a change of heart.

Music: My Homie

It’s like, it always ends right when you get used to a life without school. ...Then again, I guess we had some fun things this year.

Kawakami clears her throat loudly.

All right, let’s begin homeroom. Let’s see. We’ve just gotten back from vacation, but starting next Monday is the school trip.
Oh yeah, that’s right.

Music: Alright

Hawaii!? That seems like kind of a big deal. You’d think someone would have brought that up at some point in the last half year.

Make sure that none of you cut loose too much, OK?

The students become rowdy.

OK, settle down! That concludes homeroom.

You can speak English, right?
Basically, yeah.
That’s amazing!

I forgot how shitty my portraits for some of these generic students were, yikes.

I lived over there, so it’s nothing that special.
Hey, if there’s something we’re not sure of in English, can we ask you about it?

Theeeeere we go. Everybody wants something.


Despite both of our phones clearly going off, this conversation does not appear to include Ann.

Is it the same for you? Talk about being popular. Anyways, now that a new semester’s started, let’s have another operation meeting.

Shouldn’t you text the others about this and not just me?

Maaku and Ann look at each other. I suppose Maaku is psychically transmitting that information to her.

Rankings, huh? Sounds interesting!
All you do is vote? Isn’t that kind of pointless?
You never know. They might be looking at it.
I’m sure the Phantom Thieves will steal their heart!

Music: Wicked Plan

Futaba! Did you come here by yourself?
I went to get her since I got out of school early.
What a patronizing Inari.
Well then, let’s get talkin’. Whadda we do now? Should we go after another big target?
That’s important too, but what about that villain in the cognitive world?
It’s almost certain that this person exists. What’s more, they’re inducing mental shutdowns… We certainly can’t turn a blind eye.
Yeah, but we don’t got any clues… But! You know how we’re totes popular right now? Everyone at school’s talkin’ about us, and not a day goes by when you don’t hear about it on TV either! We totally made it big, don’tcha think?
True. The rankings on the Phantom Aficionado website have been crazy too.

Huh? What the hell!? First place… keeps changing by the second!
People are voting around the clock, after all.
If we go after these guys, I’m sure we’ll score some big cash at least once!

Oh, yep. Totally. Cash, the most important thing in this enterprise of ours. Can’t think of any other reason we got into this.

What would you use money like that for, Maaku?

I’ve never heard of a phantom thief that saves up money!
Are you fine with that, Futaba? Even though it’s related to what happened to your mother?
It’s not OK! I’m definitely gonna punch that guy…!
The culprit forcing mental shutdowns… If you think about it, there’s no bigger target than that. If we can change his heart and get a confession outta him, we’ll be on top of the world for real. Should we reveal our identities then? I bet chicks are gonna be all over us!
Whoa, whoa, you want us to show our faces…!? ...I guess that might be OK?
I see. If the true culprit confesses, the existence of the Metaverse will become known… There would be no need for us to remain in hiding in such a questionable manner…

Being “unknown” is the allure of being a phantom thief.
But considering the hype now, it’s gonna be one hell of a huge deal if we pull it off!
Are there really no clues regarding those mental shutdown cases? If I remember right, wasn’t the older Niijima sister investigating it?

Wait a minute. We, the player know that Makoto’s sister was the prosecutor who came to Leblanc threatening Sojiro, but we didn’t know that was tied to the mental shutdowns, did we? Furthermore, how on earth does Morgana know that they’re the same person? Makoto’s been rather quiet whenever it’s been brought up, and as far as I can recall barely talks about her. How does anyone know any of this? The only explanation I can see is that Kaneshiro’s Shadow mentioned Sae’s first name, and then Akechi mentioned Sae in passing the other day, but that’s a rather large leap in the characters’ understanding, especially for a game that feels the need to explain eeeeeeeverything.

Yes… I can pry and ask about it. But she’ll just tell me to mind my own business and get angry with me.

She’ll probably do that anyway, Makoto. You’ve got nothing to lose!

If you can’t ask her, wanna just extract that data?

Does she have a personal laptop or something?
Don’t tell me…

Just stick this baby in, and it’ll clone the internal hard drive! It’ll even bypass the OS password!

Why did you think you would need that when you came here today?

You’ll have to plug it directly into her laptop though. Can you do it?
Sis does bring her laptop home sometimes… But I’m not comfortable going that far…
Ooh, is Futaba gonna do something amazin’ again?
Are you scared of seeing how your sister truly feels?
No! ...Of course not. ...Fine, I’ll do it.

Makoto takes the device.

Music: Disquiet

Holy shit, I just noticed this dude’s ear! What the fuck is wrong with it, it’s so small!

But I gave a gag order in regard to Mr. Kamoshida’s case… P-Please wait! Please give me some time! I will find evidence on the Phantom Thieves for sure! I couldn’t have made it this far, had it not been for your assistance, sir… so… Please… Please let me--

The caller on the other end hangs up.

Poor Fake Billy Zane.

You know, sometimes I think twice about making voice actor jokes because of the fact that this is an entirely visual medium but for some reason the fact that the references I’m making have literally zero play whatsoever due to the format just makes it funnier to me.

Music: Beneath the Mask

Still another six months ahead of you. Keep yourself in check, got it?

Yes, if you look away for even a single moment, the order changes completely.
It’s hard to decide who to actually go after!
They’re flooding in!
We can choose anyone we want!
We should wait for now though, it will surely cool off soon. More importantly, how are things on your end, Makoto?
Sis isn’t home yet. She may not come back at all tonight.
Man, just think how great it’d be to narrow down our targets!

Even you, Maaku…? ...I suppose I’ll do it.
Let’s leave this to Makoto. I’m sure she’ll be able to pull it off.

Oh, you’re thirsty for something, all right.

Many celebrities have started posting public apologies on their personal blogs and other outlets. The general opinion is that the reason why they are doing this is the Phantom Thieves. The rationale is that they will be spared by the Phantom Thieves if they apologize preemptively.
Some people are just confessing what they’ve done wrong on their own? They must be scared of us.

Heading over to the second-hand shop, the owner has something new for us. Let’s buy this broken laptop. Now, we don’t have any means to repair it as of yet, so we’ll have to save that for another time.

We skipped two (well, more than two) summer hangouts that would have unlocked some new spots, so we buy the top two books for the purpose of unlocking them later.

Remember waaaaaaay back when I mentioned we wouldn’t be able to rank up Sojiro for a while? Well, Rank 5 of his Confidant is only accessible after 8/22, or after Futaba first joins. We hit Rank 4 something like two or three in-game months ago, so it’s been a long time.

Thanks. Futaba’s coming to eat today too. I’ll get the curry ready. I’m leaving the coffee to you.

Music: Break it Down

How was the curry, Futaba?
Delicious! I’m gonna be dreaming of that stuff tonight!
Um… did it taste the same as you remember it?
Yup. I feel like a dummy for not wanting to eat it back when I was depressed about my mom… ...Oh yeah! The first episode of this brand-new anime I wanna watch is airing tonight! I’m outta here!
Eyes in front when you walk, OK? No spacing out. You ran head first into a pole last time you went for a walk…
Well you stubbed your toe on the dresser the other day! Aw crap! It’s gonna start! (to Maaku) Making like a leaf, and—Eh, screw it. Bye!

I don’t think that’s how that expression goes, but whatever.

And what about you?

Now then… there’s something I should probably tell you. Here, take a seat. I’ll pour you some coffee.

Music: Alright (Elp Version)

You might’ve realized it by now, but that genius was Futaba’s mother… Wakaba. In other words, that curry is one of the last remaining connections Futaba has to her mom.

I first met Wakaba back when I was doing work for the government. She was real trouble, let me tell you. Logic prevailed over emotion for her, and she had an intricate knowledge of the human mind. I thought my pick-up lines were the best in town, but not a single one worked on her… Heh…

It was almost impossible to keep up with her. Men are idiots though… We spend our time chasing after things we can’t get. Wakaba rejected me time and time again… but there was one instance I managed to surprise her. And that was when I gave her a plate of my homemade curry. The very next day she came asking all about the ingredients and what goes into the cooking process… Then just a few days later, she handed me a scientifically-enhanced version of my recipe. ...It was incredible. She had used my curry as the basis, but it was miles better than anything I made. Curry was Wakaba’s specialty from then on. Naturally, Futaba grew to love it in no time as well. But then after Wakaba’s accident… Futaba stopped eating it entirely. The flavor would make her remember the pain… I’ve heard even smells can bring back memories too. But… that curry was the only point of connection I had with Futaba. That’s why when I took her in, I vowed to keep this recipe alive until she could eat it again.

The whole idea of pairing the curry with a nice brew is thanks to Wakaba’s refinement too. Despite how introverted she seemed, she was extraordinarily perceptive of the people around her… I never even told her about my love of coffee. She figured it out just from looking at me… That was when I realized she was totally out of my league. Not like I really stood a chance to begin with though. She already had Futaba by then, after all. This might seem like any old curry to most people, but there’re tons of emotions crammed inside. So, uh… make sure you keep the tradition going.
I feel like my bond with Sojiro is growing deeper...

Futaba’s waiting for me at home too, so I should probably be heading back. Make sure you clean up before you go to bed.
I can see the compassion hidden beneath Sojiro’s actions… I feel my Kindness growing...

Maaku gains Kindness +3.

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)

Oh yes. Thank you for the coffee last time. It’s a lovely cafe. I haven’t relaxed that much in a while.

I could tell. You got pretty candid back there.

That’s nice of you to say. Especially lately since it seems I’m hated by those who support the Phantom Thieves… Anyhow, it seems your school’s in trouble.


The media is reporting that the whole school was involved in the cover-up about that gym teacher. Those unfortunate students were made victims all because adults valued their own conveniences… This is unforgivable, no matter the reason. ...Let me know if you need anything. I’ll do my best so that the case is wrapped up quickly.

Looks like Shujin’s back in deep shit.

I read an article about Shujin in a magazine… “High School Horrors: A School-wide Cover-up.” Seems the administration turned a blind eye to that abusive teacher. It’s all so hard to believe…
The principal claimed he didn’t know what was going on, at first. We’re talking about children’s lives—people like him are the ones who should answer for this.
I don’t like the way they’re looking at us…

How can you even see them from inside that bag, cat?

Music: Break it Down

The media’s gonna come to our school. At least be a little interested in it. “Cover-up by faculty and principal of Shujin Academy, where the Phantom Thieves first appeared.” It’s been a huge deal already. I wonder what’s gonna happen to the principal now. Anyways, we made the right choice goin’ after big targets! Everywhere I go, people’re talkin’ about us!

Ryuji makes for the door...

And blocked by Girl with Watering Can!

I’m sorry!
Oh no, I’m fine.

The girl walks away.

The Phantom Thieves are on fire right now, so I wonder if I got a chance if I asked her out…? It sucks that I can’t just say I’m actually a Phantom Thief to anybody.

She didn’t even have a name, Ryuji. We’ll never see her again.

Music: Wicked Plan

Okay, so this scene is obviously here because they realized, “Oh shit, we accidentally implicated Kawakami in the Kamoshida mess,” which they bring up and then… do nothing with. It’s actually kind of more damning than if they’d just ignored it because her failure to give any kind of explanation or alibi here means it’s not at all irrational to assume that she did know something, whoops!

Even if the police ask you anything, you better not make irresponsible comments to them! Seriously, why does this keep happening? All my relatives are gonna call me again…

Chastising children for gossip and worrying about its affect on your personal life is totally the appropriate response to finding out many of your coworkers were involved in a plot to protect a child abuser and implied rapist! I’m just going to pretend this scene doesn’t exist because despite her Confidant being hilariously inappropriate I actually like Kawakami as a character.

You know how the police have been coming to the school again because of that incident? So, a number of the senior faculty are going to be called in for questioning… And that day just happens to overlap with the school trip.
...Yes, I’ve been told so.
Now, this came up at the faculty meeting, but the plan is to have third-years to act as our proxies. I’m so sorry to drop this on you, Niijima-san, but we’ll be counting on you.

You know… A lot of the second-years this year happen to be… unique.

“We’ve got two delinquents, fine, but someone’s gotta keep an eye on that Mishima loser.”

You must have your hands full with the entrance exams, but I’m sure you’ll be fine with your grades. Don’t worry. There’ll be a couple more people going besides you!
...If that’s the case, very well.

I’ll go ahead and pass this news on then/

Music: So Boring

Perhaps it’s due to the negative comments he made about us.

C’mon, you don’t gotta pity a jerk like him. By the way, how’s it going, Makoto? You get into your sister’s data yet?
I think she’s been busy. She didn’t come home at all yesterday.
That’s problematic.
What’re we gonna do? We can’t do a damn thing till we get that.
Don’t rush me. I assure you, I can handle this. More importantly… everyone at school has been on edge since that tabloid article. Please be careful not to stand out, OK?
You don’t gotta tell me twice!

Music: Tokyo Daylight

Even more talking to do, because everyone’s dialogue updated… again.

I’m surprised that they’ve gotten so famous. Nobody even believed they were real at first.
I’m embarrassed that I used to be a fan of Akechi-kun… Now it’s all about the Phantom Thieves. I’ll cheer them on as much as I can!

Was that incident with Mr. Kamoshida just the beginning?
A stand in Shibuya Station was selling Phantom Wafers. It was already close to selling out. I guess that’s just how popular the Phantom Thieves are…
Phantom Wafers!? I wonder if I can buy one on the way home…

Inquisitive Girl and Foodie Girl will often talk about new limited-time items for sale.

Damning with faint praise.

I’ve been seeing it everywhere I go lately. I really wanna buy some P-Thieves merchandise! Just looking at that glorious logo makes me feel a little braver. Those guys are seriously awesome! Man, this is crazy cool. I’m gonna take a picture! Hamiru drew it, right? It’s like, the best drawing I’ve ever seen. I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins! Nice going, Hamiru!
Our fame is going through the roof! Where’s it gonna stop…?

I think I’ll interview you too, Hamiru-kun. What’re your thoughts on the article?

I totally get you! The teachers can’t be trusted. I wish they’d be more honest with us. Of course, I’ll continue my coverage for the newspaper club.

Well, at least we’ve still got the Phantom Thieves. They’re so in right now!
Yeah, there’s SO much merch for them. Maybe I should buy some.

But if that happens, that’d be a real problem for us. What about our futures after high school?
Although in a different era, there have been middle school graduates who became prime ministers. Diligence can overcome any shortcoming. Effort is what’s most important to rise to the top.

No one cares about our tournament coming up!
Is now the time to worry about that? We have to do our part as captains if we really want to win.
Why did I come to Shujinnn? Ever since this year started, it’s been nothing but drama.

Just when I thought it was all over. I wish I never came to Shujin Academy…
Let’s ask the Phantom Thieves for help. I’m sure they can take down the principal for us.

I heard you chased away some reporters who snuck into campus. Good for you, Sensei!
I’m part of the school staff, after all. We can’t allow any harm to come to our students.

Unless it’s one of the teachers doing it.

The other teachers have been kind of useless since the Kamoshida thing, so I’m really impressed!

Nobody knows who I really am, though. Heh… If they only knew.

O-Of course, I beat them at their own game. With the internet, hacking skills, and computers! They were powerless once I started typing at breakneck speeds of 100 words per hour! Muahahaha!

What a fuckin’ idiot.

These are but a small sampling of the new reactions to our latest caper.

Just who are they, anyway…? Honestly, the idea they exist creeps me out a little bit.
The police, prosecutors, everyone in the government’s up in arms, trying to find the Phantom Thieves. It might not be long until those Phantom Thieves are finally caught.

All right, I didn’t explain how this store worked previously because I wasn’t aware. It gets a new related book every time you do the corresponding activity for the first time, like batting, fishing, watching movies, etc. We’ll buy this Essence of Fishing book, even if we don’t plan on ever going back there.

We’re here to try out this fancy new Affinity Reading.

Please think about someone you want to become closer with.

We didn’t have enough points with Yusuke for the next rank, so let’s try to get his affinity up.

This reading will cost you 5000 yen.

OK, heeere I gooo…

We did not get enough points to get Yusuke to the next rank, unfortunately. We can do this once a day, though, and do the same person multiple times, so it’s no big deal.

Next up, we head over to Akihabara, the newest and last of the areas this game lets us free roam around in. Check out that sweet anime car, by the way.

You mean the stuff on the Phantom Thieves, right? They jump on the bandwagon now and call it news?
The stuff they’re reporting is so old. They’re months behind us. TV really is shit.
True, but the people watching it and causing a ruckus are shit too.

Man, fuck these guys.

Stocks. I put all our savings into stocks ato get our money to JUMP UUUP!

This guy owns.

We saved that money together! You can’t just do things like that on your own!
Don’t worry! I invested in Okumura Foods. They’re expanding overseas, so their stock price is going up.

Oh yeah, you should totally buy when the price is going up, what a good plan. It’s how I made my bitcoin millions.

Haha, most out-of-towners say that. Been here my whole life, and even I think it’s strange.
Next I want to meet… How do you say… The Phantom Thieves?
Dunno if I can swing that. What’s the deal with those guys, anyhow?

Foreign Barker and Foreign Tourist need to meet and strike up a friendship. Or fall in love. One or the other.

Gah! Please don’t complain to the cafe! That doesn’t count! Aw, man, I got mistaken for a mugger the other day, too. What the hell am I doing wrong? *sigh* This job is impossible. Why the hell do I even do it?

Electric Town has a variety of interesting shops!

This PC Tool Set will let us fix that Broken Laptop we picked up earlier.

A capsule vending machine? Oh, so you can get these guys with 500 yen… Why don’t you try testing out your luck?

Now, thankfully, interacting with the capsule machine does not spend time for some inexplicable reason like in Persona 4.

This capsule says it’s uncommon. It’s not a big win, but it’s no huge loss, either. *sigh* I just don’t get it. Why do people want these?

This, pachinko, and gacha are the closest things in this society to true gambling, but I suppose that we could ask the same question of slot machines.

What am I so mad about? I can’t get the guy I want in this capsule toy vending machine… I want the figurine for “Mothman,” but he hasn’t been showing up… Tell me if you ever get one. I’ll trade you a figurine I have for it.

Hot dog, let’s go for it!

This capsule says it’s super rare! Y-You’re amazing!

We eventually get one… twelve attempts later. That’s actually probably on the low end, considering some of my other tries at this, so 6,000 yen is a low price to pay. We get four more Decked Decarabia (uncommon), one Kinky Kin-Ki (rare), two Gear Girimehkala (uncommon), two Die-soujou (common), and two Mini Dominion (common) before getting a Mossy Mothman (super rare).

Th-That’s the Mothman figurine! Wow! His fur looks like it’s real!

Um, I thought I was trading for a figurine, not a fucking piece!

>Let’s trade.

Eh, sure.

Thank you, thank you so much! This is so awesome! It’s so fluffy…! Ah, sorry about that. Here’s your Model Gun, just like I promised. If you get another Mothman again, please bring it to me!

Now, considering the amount of effort we just put in for a rather low-grade gun, this may not seem worth it. However, this is one of the best (and only) ways to get Model Guns in the game, which are used for weapon transmutation. If you fuse the correct (endgame, naturally) Persona into one of these, you’ll get a monstrously powerful upgrade to the relevant character. This is just the most blatant example, but Makoto’s ultimate gun gives her +10 in all stats, it’s crazy. Sadly, we can only get five Model Guns from this gentleman before he starts offering something else, but it’s still great.

Now that we’ve given him what he wants, he’ll also start trading for the other figurines we’ve got, in descending order of rarity. Some of these trades are far better than others. Kin-Ki gives us Revivadrin and Life Ointment, which we can just buy, so not that great.

This is the good one. For Girimehkala he’ll give us Strawberry Curry and Mystery Stew. Strawberry Curry restores 100 HP while lowering defense and our accuracy/evasion rate, which is… bad. Mystery Stew, on the other hand, reduces all three parameters… but restores 30% SP. Considering Dekunda exists, costs 10 SP, and can eliminate those debuffs in a single turn, this is an amazing item, even if it can only be used in battle.

For Decarabia he’ll give Muscle Drink (30% HP restore, Attack up, Defense down) and Odd Morsel (30% HP restore, Attack up, Hit/Evasion down).

In the trade for Daisoujou he’ll give us a Fulfiller (cures Hunger, weirdly missing from the wiki list of items) and a Coolifier Pad (cures Burn, we already have like twenty).

Finally, for the dreaded Mini Dominion, he gives us a Dr. Salt NEO, just because we went to the trouble of bringing it. It restores 20 HP. Fart.

Now, Akihabara also has a few other points of interest that we didn’t see today, like a games shop, an arcade, and a maid cafe (that we’ll never visit because we’re already maxed on Charm), but… we’re also getting dangerously close to the character limit, so we’ll have to continue this in the next post!