The Let's Play Archive

Planet Alcatraz

by bhlaab

Part 9: Carnivale!

On the other hand, he has been hoarding a ton of one healing item without even partaking once.

Here goes nothing. What could this side effect possibly be?

Boar? BOAR! Oh no. No no no. Boar, you're acting nonsense and you're talking nonsense.

There's not even any music pla-- wait, Boar?? Where'd he go? Boar???


ALCATRAZ -- NOV 12 2507

fucking a shit man fuckin a fuckin aaaaaa

look at these fuckers its fuckin carnivale bitches aaahaahaaa

aahaa wghats this house some punk ass live hear just kidding man im just fuckin around man

dude. dude what. thast so effed up

wwhoa whoa wow hey whats this

ive got a golden bpython... in my dick!!! aha its carnivale fukcers

this guy this guy i iam just going to talk to him

shit i gotta find this cricket!!! im going to go



fuck you if you dont give me a cricket. bitch i just got out of jail i'm serious

you shot me bro. oh godi fell on my bottom.

i iggoit your cricket

thanks i vant wait


hearit sing
Wait. whered he go

did i like just imagine this man. is that what i did?? that rules i imagined a man on carnivale oh wai t he walkd over there

im gonig to follow ghim. hes such a nice guy. hes the nicest guy ive met, ever.
hey what the heck

dude she is
such a perfec tbeautiful angel why do you treat her rwong

ill treat her so good. ill treat her bettr than you ever did. she desreves it so good i can give.


now im gonna take your swim trunks. their mine.

you dont haverto listen to there garbage anymore. im here. im here.
Oh my God! Sir, you're bleeding from your chest!
SSSHH sssh sssh shhshshshhhh baby baby sssh baby
This is a bullet wound! Were you shot?! And your bottom is all bruised up!
that was.... that was just a dreram i had. about a cricket.
Sir, please! You need to go to the hospital!
i'll do anything. you are so pretty. you are sooo hot. i will do it for you. i will go there.


im going to marry her. i mean it. shes the one. that pool is so dirty i wouldnt swim there

OH YEAH the hospital i promised

unf unf omp omp carnivale omp unf unf omp

unf omp omp omp unf unf carnivale omp unf

unf om-- oh! oh hey you see like an asian girl?? i think shes goku?? oh man did she set me up?? that ssluuunovabitch

oh yeah she said to say yo u i got shot by a man

neeed a doctor? fuck you pal its carnivale i AM a doctor

i... i think i left. why did i go there

is that the illuminati?? i saw this on historu channel. the illuminati is trying to stop carnivale! this is bullshit!

hey man hey i ever tell you about my idea for a tv show called pussy cab its like cash cab except instdead of cash you win pussaaayyy!! carnivale!!! wait, youre sad?? dont be sad. why?? its carnivale.

i'll go get your shirt. i might steal it. sorry in advance

HEY BRIGHT DUDE are you the owner of club 69?? im here to see a man about a shirt.

is this the hospital. I promised a girl id meet her here because i wa sshot on my bottom

huh?? yeah i'll go. i'll get that shirt

whoa nice room

do they call you compass because you point south?? haha just kiddinf its acompass joke

OH WHAT some more guys wanna throw down?? im... actually getting kind of woozy and cold... it must be excess carnivale wind entering my body...

ummm you can keep the shuirt. actually ill give it to the guy in the forest. i think ill keep these sweet jorts tho

DUDE WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?? IS THIS BECA ohh this is because i killled asll those guys in the othrer room.

yo shlema is that a tat on your chest?? ohhh awesome lemme see it. can i try on tyour pants

holy cow i look like snake plissken. this is SO rules

yeah kid keep the change

keep the


im feeling kind of

whys it feel like ive got no blood

i... carnivale... fuck... yeah...

ALCATRAZ -- NOV 12 2507 -- 10:00pm

...Nhnnhghh...What....? What the fuck?? Where am I?? Where's Toot??

Whilst Boar was drunk on intergalatic moonshine, he would engage in a fun dance if left idle for more than a millisecond.
During this dance animation he would drop any weapon he had equipped. On the ground. So that you have to pick it back up.
This is all fine and well, but I played for about an hour and he never stopped dancing. I made him Rest for about 72 in-game hours
but still he danced, passionately, dropping any weapon I forgot to unequip after battles.

No one, not even Boar, can say what happened between the times he passed out in the woods and woke up near midnight, but some
speculate that a previous save may have been loaded.

I just realized the Boar was wearing a Catcher in the Rye hat this entire update.