The Let's Play Archive

Planet Alcatraz

by bhlaab

Part 17: A West District Story

ALCATRAZ -- DEC 16 2507

The Vampire Squad are technically in Stonguard, the Legionaire city. However, they aren't in the city yet.
These are just the crummy slums outside of the Legion's massive fortress town.

Luyapa is the leader of this affiliation of youths who call themselves the Kapulians.

It's really sickening that you aren't allowed to do crimes, just because you're black.

So a rival gang, the asians known as the Monte-gues are producing fake Squall SMGs. ...Whatever.

Xiao Min is the leader of the Monte-gues. Maybe he can explain before I run straight to the snitch station.

Boar took an Intro to Racial Studies course back in Deathmatch Academy and he wants everyone to know it.

So, both gangs want Boar to snitch on the other. Who will he side with??? Stay tuned.

But before then is Gryphon.

Stricken with each others' beauty, they both avert their eyes as they speak.

It seems that a lot of ill behavior passes to and fro between the fortress walls. This will have to be investigated.

Enough of this crud-berg! Let's go into the fortress already!
We're carrying katanas, a sniper rifle, 16 grenades, and a quad-barrel shotgun. Do you really think they'll let us in?
Yes! Because of our skin color.
By the way, Kruger can you please take off that hat.

Yeesh, looks pretty serious.

What seems to be the problem, officer?

Wow, I don't know what those black and asian people were talking about! It was super easy for us to get in!

I don't know. Are you guys sure you're not imperialists?

The Legionaire fortress is a strange place. Troops march in the square 24/7

Boar wants to join in but doesn't have the natural rhythm.

Meanwhile an old man just runs up to a Legion soldier and just starts trying to sock him in the face and ends up being pushed ass over teakettle into some bushes.

And there's a circus tent pavillion where they serve beer!

Here's a gun shop which handily does not show up on your radar as a shop.

Guns N Tulips. Get it? Do you get it?

Vampire Squad runs into a doctor who offers to increase a stat for one million coins.

Boar could really use an extra point of Strength. It's something to keep in mind.

Nearby are the Legion barracks and a guy the squad knows they have to speak to for an active quest because there is an orange circle around him.

This is the guy Gryphon sent us to.

He's pretty cagey but also reveals the name of his major criminal contact without the slightest provocation.

Like creepy brainwashed cultists, these distinguished military men bark the same trite slogans like machines. Major Plank listlessly scours his bookshelf for an item he will never find.

If there's anybody who will get something done, it's him. So he's the best person to snitch to.

Boar decides to snitch on the Kapulians, choosing to side with the Monte-gues.

Then he decides to snitch on the Monte-gues as well. Boar, stop snitchin!

Before they leave, Plank also gives Vampire Squad a job:

They must find out who is responsibile for distributing Jet to his soldiers. The squad was kind of already doing that job on their own, but now someone is going to pay them for it.

With some loose ends created within the fotress, the guys jump the gate back and check in with the disasterous situations they have created.

Hey. La... Laponyta. I hope you're not mad at me. I still totally respect your... black.

You want our help??
These morons don't even know you completely screwed them!
Kruger! I mean... Naw, man. Thass' cool. Imma juss chill...
Please don't do that, Boar.

And so the Kapulians head off to a decisive turf war with the Monte-gues.


I kinda don't feel good about this.
I kinda do.

I feel responsible for this someh...

Daaamn, baby.
Fight well, Asian brothers! My hat and I are with you in spirit!

Perhaps due to Kruger's well wishings, only two Monte-gues remain after the battle dust settles.

Hey. We, uh, got rid of all the Kapulians like you asked. Can you pay us now?

Apparently not.

Alright, then.
I bite my thumb at you, sir!

The five-round single blast shotgun is probably more useful, but emptying four barrels at once holds a certain appeal.

That's one way of saying it. Also: Pssst! Behind you!

Unfortunately the guards get involved and it becomes a bit of a mess.

But more importantly, Major Plank has still not found the book he wants.

Heading back outside the fortress to take care of that arms dealer Lt. Arban let slip told us plainly about, the squad runs into this guy.

Wow! Oranges! This is the chance of a lifetime!

Of course, Boar isn't the only one who has heard the news.

Fortunately, he manages to out-bid the competition by dropping down 3200 couns and wins a key to that nice chest of free oranges.

Bye! Thanks for the free oranges!

What can I say? You snooze, you lose.

Wow, this chest is full of special oranges that look like carrots!
And they taste like carrots, too!

Here's Li Bo, Arban's smuggler.

Because this is a Paragon run, Boar decides to negotiate the terms of the deal.

Boar makes four reasonable points, shutting down Li Bo's arguments.

Another business deal closed!

All's well that ends well.

One final loose end is meeting with Plank's informant in the Jet case.

Seems the drug smuggling is being carried out by a man named Tony Fidget. I can only assume he has associates named Weasel, Jimmy the Rat, and a man named Tiny who is ironically very large.

Say, I don't mean to criticize your leadership, Boar...
Really? Wow! You probably should be!
It's just that we came into town with the intention on freeing Demon and...
Demon? We're here to summon a demon?
No, Boar. He's one of our friends. He's the fourth member of the Vampire Crew.
He's certainly in that large building inside the fortress. I know this for some reason.
Alright then, let's go summon Pyros!
Is it okay if I start criticizing your leadership now, Boar?

Nice place. It appears to be the Legion's main offices. Nicer than Blacky's office, anyway.

This guy guards the cells.

Please stand away from me as I whisper the jail's audio passphrase.
Oh. Of course.

(suck it. Suck it. SUCK IT!)

I didn't skip anything. Nobody told a story.

I won't forget you, Demon. Keep the faith!

Now I guess it's time to go summon Pyros.