Part 13: Fighting back
11: Fighting back
I swear I'll take those spaces away soon
Welcome to our second to last true update of Let's Horribly Break Pokemon Blue! We're done time traveling (thank god) and with all 8 badges we can finally make our way to the Elite 4. Now as you may know the elite 4 are... Elite. So despite having level 100 killing machines, it's only normal to go get some healing items just in case something goes wrong.
Err, hey! This item is new, apparently it's at such a high cost that the 10 thousands digit is missing. This is perhaps one of the last glitch items I haven't shown off that don't crash or freeze the game upon use, Rival's. Bear in mind it has no relation to Blue/Gary/Durpady, it's just named RIVAL's.
Rival's is a move, it is apparently an HM move. A HM move that no pokemon in the game can learn. Glitch pokemon, regular pokemon, trainer pokemon, none. It is dubbed by some as the mysterious HM 06. I don't think anyone really knows what move it was supposed to be, but we can theorize on one thing from this item. That being your Rival, whatever you named him, was supposed to give you an HM after a certain point in the game. An idea that never came to fruition, with another overworld obstacle that never came to be (Whirlpools? Waterfalls?)
Once you accept the disappointment in learning that you will never find out what HM 06 is, exiting the pokemon menu brings out this familiar site. Something we've seen at the very first update, except it won't horribly destroy the game this time. When your pokemon are integrated into the overworld like this, you can walk in a sort of "walk through walls" fashion in that some barriers won't be tangible anymore and you can go through them. However at the same time, areas where there was once empty space will sometimes have barriers on top of them. It is possible to get stuck while walking around in this fashion, luckily fixing it is easy.
Just press start! Pokemon will be gone and your sprite and NPCs will return to normal, be careful not to do this when standing on a house or something though. You might have some trouble getting out then (just use fly or teleport or whatever).
Anyway, after getting our required healing items, I proceed to fiddle around with the party. Our lower level A is gonna have to go the box, as much as I would like to use glitches during the E4, a level 15 one won't do much good. Likewise, Kadabra, who has ended up being a big help in getting some gltiches to pop up (I planned it from the beginning, heh) will accompany us. It's probably common knowledge by now, but psychic types are pretty much well known for fucking everything up in Gen 1 so he'll be handy.
Also just for sheer curiosity I decided to take a look at Blocky's stats, see if he err... Fixed himself? I think the screenshots speak for themselves in this context. At least I saved before trying it. I didn't
With that settled, on the way to victory road!
Usually when you take the normal route to the large victory road building Gary stops you for a quick battle. However, if you decide to dick around with the game and walk around the point where the battle activates, you can actually see his sprite lazying about. If you talk to him without walking on the activation point, he'll give you the whole talk about goin to the pokemon league and kicking your ass without actually battling you. Another thing to note is that his theme doesn't play if you talk to him like this.
Now there are two ways to get to the Indigo Plateau, the normal way or the fun way.
Pop quiz guess which way we're going to take
Well hey look at that, there's a whole mess of sprites behind the roof just out of view normally!
Go north far enough, and you can begin to identify what is essentially the pathway to victory road.
If you watched any sort of crazy glitched up TAS run of a gen 1 pokemon game, you probably saw the player take advantage of this place. You can get here doing some crazy shit with the bike and select items and then hop around through the roof and into the pokemon league while skipping the badge checkers. I don't know how to do that though, I just like walking through places I shouldn't be going through.
As you can see, even if you are able to get them off screen the badge checkers can still grab a hold of you, trust me if I was able to somehow reliably skip them this LP would have been finished long ago The second picture is just more of showing off on how the sprites were replaced with a bunch of jargon. The grass, for example, is now a bunch of RTs from the pokemart sign. I should also mention by the way, that in the glitch city update the M sprite I pointed out was the m in gym, and I knew that, I was jokingly making a connection.
Some of you need to stop taking what I say so seriously, especially when I say it's not serious (jk ilu guys).
Victory road itself has gotten properly fucked up, it's not even a cave anymore!
Luckily, the victory road is easy to skip as well since it's apparently loosely connected to the map that has the indigo plateau building. It's surprisingly simple to make out where you can and can't go if you have a photo memory of what the original map looks like. Additionally, there is nothing north of the actual pokemon league building, just blank space that predictably crashes the game when you walk into it. personaly i find dat da destination 2 the end of the journey is very gliched is quit symblic n shos jus how bad metraizserxer has screwed the pokeworld - Smart intelligent analyzer of pokemon LPs
Huh, big place I guess.
I guess I'll heal my pokemon in an awkward way for one last time, it's making me a bit teary (haha nurse joy doesn't have a back sprite).
Opponent one: Lorelei the ice trainer bitch. For some reason she always gave me trouble, probably because I never really used psychic or fire types in the gen 1 games. Whatever, I have Kadabra now so at least I can-
Heh, this never stops being funny to me. You can also fish in this statue but I don't think anything will be caught. Not really sure why you can do this, as the top half of the sprite is very much a boundary, probably a silly overlook made by the coders. (Maybe they intentionally left it in there because it's funny, I dunno)
Alright enough dicking around, we're almost done with this and I can see my name on that plaque already.
It's not like this will be difficult anyway. Her strongest pokemon is at, what, the higher 50s? Even Missingno. can take that o-
WHAT THE FUCK
I don't I can't but how wait aaaaaaaaaaa
So, level 200+ pokemon with health bars that break the screen and are also glitches. Somehow taking me back all the way to Viridian even though I healed myself up at the Pokemon League. Ok Lorelei, you want to play this game, I'll play this game.
Oh yes, it so happens that I have 2 haunters in stock that I grabbed out of the missingno. glitch, I knew they would be useful some day. I'll beat Lorelei at this, even if it means killing the world with blocky as a last resort.
So this uh, thing, is what I like to call Lorelei's own personal glitch pokemon. You fight 6 of this things, and they are very tough considering the levels. I'll explain how to encounter them later, but all you need to know now is that they are annoying as fuck. These guys in particular, like using a move called "TM 05". TM 05 is a status effect move, it is the worst status effect move. In short, it sharply raises the users evade, it is worse than the move double team in terms of effectiveness, by that I mean it's VERY effective. What's worse is that the AI loves to use it, then again that's not surprising since the only move most of these guys know besides TM 05 is tackle. With Haunter being a ghost... I guess they don't really have much of a choice.
Some of these glitches will have health bars that are longer than the others, despite being pretty much the same pokemon. Still, they accurately represent just how tough it is to faint them, these dudes are TANKS. I admit that I wasn't being too smart in fighting them as I just kinda pummeled along with offensive attacks, no status effects or anything.
Eventually, this happens. What makes matters worse is that glitched Lorelei is healing her pokemon with super potions, I mean they're not full restores and it's not helping that much but still.
This inevitably happens. Struggle occurs when the PP for ALL of your pokemon's moves is zero. It does little damage but it can get the job done in a situation like this (this is coincidentally the last pokemon on Lorelei's team and all it's doing is using TM05). Using struggle also causes recoil damages, emphasizing the whole "last resort" thing. On an unfair note, in Gen 1 your opponent's pokemon did not have to worry about PP, as it had infinite. That's right, those waiting out tricks that work in all the new games don't work in here. It's one of the reasons why crazy shit like weedle only runs are that much harder.
That was an unexpected roadblock of course. Everything should be fine though, I mean why would the whole elite 4 use glitch pokemon? That would just be silly.
Hey Bruno, glad to see you. You should do something about Lorelei back there, she's not using pokemon that are registered by the league. I mean, I'm not either but I can also just kill everything with a switch on a gameboy so I think that's excusable.
Alright, let's have a good clean battle then. No breaking windows or anything, just gonna have Mew use fly on all of your fighters and I'll be on my way. Wait, don't you usually have 5 pokemon?
Oh I get it. So not only are you using glitches, you're using a glitch with a ridiculously long name that requires me to mash the A button for a minute every time it's mentioned, but you're also using TWO seperate glitches at once?
I can dig it.
Dear readers I would like to introduce to you what may be the most annoying glitch pokemon in the game. Just like Lorelei's creature this thing likes to raise its evade all the way up as a top priority. Bruno also likes to buff it with X moves. If THAT wasn't enough I still have to keep mashing my keyboard because the text boxes take like 15 seconds to cram its whole name in every single time.
Good riddance, hopefully this will be different where he won't have all the same 5 pokemon as lorelei. It's like the obligatory 6 magikarp fisherman trainer except 10x worse.
Would you believe me if I told you the game is consciously trying to dick me over in every way at this point of the game? At least it can't get any worse.
Oh great, it's the demon offspring of the pair I just beat earlier.
Oh boy guys it uses mirror move too!
In case you don't know, successfully catching a trainer's pokemon causes the match to automatically end. The game switches around on its thinking and believes that you just caught a wild pokemon, which under regular circumstances takes you out of the battle screen. Quite handy when you're stuck in a predicament like this (stupid can't run away from trainer battles). For some reason the pokedex entry didn't show up, it just asked me for a nickname (Which I stupidly refused because I was just mindlessly pressing buttons at this point).
Let's take a quick look at its stats.
Here's your Mewtwo killer folks. A bug pokemon with a special stat of 999. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's the highest you can get without breaking the stat tables. Also fuck the health bar is so long it invades the Moves screen. Note the random misplaced P from PP in the moves. Blocky has this too, but for some reason demon bug here didn't break my game when looking at it.
Back to our regularly scheduled program.
Bruno isn't too worried about the fact that I just blatantly stole what could be one of the strongest pokemon on the planet. Whatever, I already feel like I know what's gonna happen next.
Hmm... Old ladies don't cheat right?
Yeah... Yeah I didn't think so.
I find G'Mp very interesting. First of all every single one that Agatha sends out is never at full health. Despite that they may be the toughest tanks so far. They all have different cries that can range from a little bloop to some minute long monstrosity, and the sprite just kinda unnerves me. Strangely fitting how the ghost trainer of the elite 4 has the most disturbing personal glitch out of all of them.
I have to be honest, at this point the glitches seem to have become all the same. They're all using the same evade move, and all have a ridiculously high level which makes them tough to kill. I will say it's at this point I realize that, glitched trainers have much smarter AI than the regular ones. The ones I'm fighting use status moves and cause effects like sleep and poison, G'Mp in particular enjoys putting my dudes to sleep while charging up for a solar beam or raising the evade a bit more. Maybe I'm underestimating the normal AI in these games but damn if it didn't throw me off guard.
Eventually it came down to this, told ya Agatha has the toughest glitches yet. I never thought I would actually end up using blocky but uh... It's down to the last resort option I guess.
I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to end badly.
As expected, Blocky's superglitch kinda destroyed everything. I mean, I can't say I'm surprised at this point.
However, what I was able to experiment with, was what would happen if we would continue fighting agatha without going to the pokemon screen. Remember that the last time this happened with Durpady I stupidly picked yes when asked to switch pokemon and the game froze. This time I picked no, and the result is kinda lame. Basically the same pokemon gets sent out again and again, no matter how many times you faint the pokemon it will come back. In short, you are stuck in limbo.
Of course, I am more clever than the game is. Just like with Bruno, a successful pokeball surely has to end the battle for us (oh man what does a superglitched hall of fame sequence look like the questions are endless)
Then the pokedex screen comes in and screws everything up. The game just freezes, not even any crazy noises ala H poke's pokedex.
Let's just pretend that didn't happen, and I ended up beating Agatha fair and square in a good match. It'll be easier for all of us that way. I hope.
Blablabla Dragons rule blablabla it's like my rapidash blablabla prepare to be beaten
So, not only does Lance have the same glitch pokemon as Agatha, it's also less interesting in that they just kept using evade and didn't have any good cries or anything. Lance is somehow, the most boring out of the E4, that sure is nice. There's nothing more I can say about it really.
Yep that sure was an exciting battle lemme tell you I loved beating up a bunch of your boring glitches. Let me tell you Lance, you have succeeded in having the dullest glitches out of everyone in your little clique. No amount of ominous or heroic fighting music will save you from that fact, and I think you should be disappointed in yourself.
Also you are a big fucking cheater in Heart Gold.
Now get out of my way so I can deal with Durpady I know he's behind you.
Hey Durpady, I want you to meet a pokemon of mine. His name is blocky, I'm sure he'll like you.
Man I didn't even get to send him out, god damn you are just one big giant pussy.
Blablabla Oak comes in blablabla something about growing up blablabla something about my squirtle which I completely forgot about in my PC box
So basically after Oak gives the monologue on why you beat your rival you're taken to this room to be admitted into the hall of fame. This room is interesting in that it has defined borders that the player never really gets to see, how big this room actually is is a mystery (hint: I'm pretty sure it's not that big). Due to this, the imaginations of many ran wild on what would be in this room that you never get to walk around in. Of course the rumors have required a hyperbole of requirements, like beating the E4 100 times until Oak goes "I'm sick of this!!!!" and leaving you to wander around this room. Where you'll find another door and go into pokegod land and catch pokegods like doomsday and are you seriously buying this shit?
See? Even gamefreak knew they're game was coded badly! This is practically encouraging you to break everything!
(.4 why did you steal the haunter sprite no bad .4)
(Blocky ALMOST froze the game here I swear)
Not bad for someone who abused the turbo speed button for all holy hell. (Oak suggested me to get Flash from his aide haha)
Credits! The perfect opportunity to explain what happened this update.
So the initial plan was to have a whole victory road update showing off the pokemon you could get by trading. That didn't work because for some reason the emulators refused to cooperate with me (I looked up like 20 different help sites and tutorials I swear). Then, I decided to show off another aspect of the missingno. glitch in where you encounter trainers by doing the glitch if you have symbols in your name. I can only assume this happens because the trainers share the same hex slot as the symbols used in text, kind of like how the celebi glitch works with beat up. Unfortunately I kept getting a beauty with a bunch of overpowered magnemites no matter how many times I switched my name around. You guys already saw a trainer with a bunch of magnemites in an earlier update so I decided it wasn't really interesting or worth showing.
Therefore, I decided to continue my initial plan of showing off a glitched E4, simply in a different method. Recall the Misty battle where we thought blocky, we encountered her in the grass and beat her up, but we didn't get any victory text or badge to show it off. I simply manipulated the images to make it LOOK like the glitched misty I fought was the same misty in the gym. This... Is pretty much what I did here except on a larger scale. Go in grass, activate code to make specific glitch trainer appear, and fight their personal glitches. Also instead of pokemon being in... the 60s (I think that's what level blocky was when I caught him) these dudes had levels going all the way up to 215. This was constant, no matter where I fought them (for misty where I fought her changed what level her pokemon would be). Of course, this only worked to my favor as I had to improvise and be creative with how I could bypass these terrible creatures. Think of it as a test to utilize everything we've learned up to this point about glitches .
You may also note that when I beat up Gary, his defeat message was vastly different from normal. Usually, instead of going all "I GIV UP!" Gary just whines about how he lost so quickly, like so:
The answer to this is very simple, when you have a specific trainer encounter code on with the gameshark, anything you face will become that trainer, even other trainers. In my case, I used this guy:
To be honest the idea was on the spot, but I found it to be pretty funny, and I think it ended the E4 update on a humorous note. What was even funnier (to me) was that after beating this guy, the music playing was the champion victory music, because the game thought I just beat the champion, it all felt so out of place.
This guy rules
Next time, the final update!