The Let's Play Archive

Pokemon Platinum

by Chorocojo

Part 33: Books and Magikarp.

I have always been tough enough, my simple friend.

Jorge you somehow manage to do EVERYTHING before I do. I can only assume you are brute forcing it due to the lack of my cunning and foresight.

. . . . what's wrong with you?


There's no ladder. How do I reach the top shelf?


Betray not your anger, lest ??? will
Weep not with sorrow, or ??? will
draw near.
When joy and enjoyment come natural
as the very air, that is happiness.
Let such be blessed by the hand
of Master ???.
Those words were spoken often
as customary.
. . . huh. Master ??? has some emotional issues.


Long ago, when Sinnoh had just been
made, Pokémon and humans led
separate lives.
That is not to say they did not help
each other. No, indeed they did.
They supplied each other with goods,
and supported each other.
A Pokémon proposed to the others
to always be ready to help humans.
It asked that Pokémon be ready to
appear before humans always.
Thus, to this day, Pokémon appear
to us if we venture into tall grass.

What? That's stupid. Who came up with this? Every time they appear to me they try to chew my knees off.


Three Pokémon there were.
Into the lakes they dove.
Deep, deep, drawing no breath.
Deeper, deeper they dove.
Into suffocating depths they dove.
Deeper, then deepest they alight.
From the lake floor they rise.
Bearing with them the power to make
vast lands, they rise again.
Huh. I guess things might really live in those lakes if I'm to believe superstition and folklore.


A young man, callow and foolish in
innocence, came to own a sword.

With it, he smote Pokémon, which gave
sustenance, with carefree abandon.
Those not taken as food, he
discarded, with no afterthought.

The following year, no Pokémon
appeared. Larders grew bare.
The young man, seeking the missing
Pokémon, journeyed afar.
Long did he search. And far and wide,
too, until one he did find.

Asked he, "Why do you hide?"
To which the Pokémon replied...
"If you bear your sword to bring
harm upon us, with claws and
fangs, we will exact a toll.

"From your kind we will take our
toll, for it must be done.
"Done it must be to guard ourselves
and for it, I apologize."

To the skies, the young man shouted
his dismay.
"In having found the sword, I have
lost so much.
"Gorged with power, I grew blind
to Pokémon being alive.
"I will never fall savage again.
This sword I denounce and forsake.
"I plead for forgiveness,
for I was but a fool."
So saying, the young man hurled the
sword to the ground, snapping it.
Seeing this, the Pokémon disappeared
to a place beyond seeing...

. . . I like this one a lot more than that other one about them being all friendly. Holy crap.


In the beginning, there was only
a churning turmoil of chaos.
At the heart of chaos, where all
things became one, appeared an Egg.
Having tumbled from the vortex, the
Egg gave rise to the Original One.
From itself, two beings the Original
One did make.

Time started to spin.

Space began to expand.

From itself again, three living things
the Original One did make.
The two beings wished, and from them,
matter came to be.
The three living things wished, and
from them, spirit came to be.
The world created, the Original One
took to unyielding sleep...
Pokémon images by nojo
I've heard this one, I think?


Look not into the Pokémon's eyes.
In but an instant, you'll have no
recollection of who you are.
Return home, but how?
When there is nothing to remember?

Dare not touch the Pokémon's body.
In but three short days, all emotions
will drain away.

Above all, above all, harm not
the Pokémon.
In a scant five days, the offender
will grow immobile in entirety.


Pick clean the bones of Pokémon
caught in the sea or stream.
Thank them for the meals they
provide, and pick their bones clean.
When the bones are as clean as can
be, set them free in the water from
which they came.
The Pokémon will return, fully
fleshed, and it begins anew.
image by nekonekoyukai

. . . world hunger my butt.


There lived a Pokémon in a forest.
In the forest, the Pokémon shed its
hide to sleep as a human.
Awakened, the human dons the
Pokémon hide to roam villages.

Pokémon that disguises as a human? That's kinda— You know, come to think of it. . . nah.


There once were Pokémon that
became very close to humans.
There once were humans and Pokémon
that ate together at the same table.
It was a time when there existed no
differences to distinguish the two.

Viola eats at the same table as me all the time I don't get this one.

FINE. What is so important that you would go into a library without someone dragging you there, Jorge?

Ah. Sense. This makes it.


Music: Rowan's Laboratory/Opening (Anime version)

Yep, I totally forgot that.

Nature does that, yup!

What. No. I'm not evolving. I'm legendary, you could say. (heh heh.)

process of Pokémon evolution works.

Go look at a thing that may or may not actually exist. Learn about evolution. Yeah ok.

to give you a Pokédex?

Oh right, Lucas. You're here. Thank goodness for that.

Wait. Are we splitting up?

Why are we splitting up? Wouldn't it be safer to just go all together?

Hey yeah good luck with the bidoof and starly out there. They're man eaters!!!!

Aww. I wanted that one.

"Your thick head and tough hide will protect you from the elements and wild beasts."

Haha gonna find you unconscious and beaten on the side of the road when I blaze on past you for once in my life.

It's true. He did say that immediately after getting his monkey.

"Also on Lady and Lucas to correct whatever you screw up."

Oh boy. Lake Valor.

. . . Campana, it doesn't make any sense when you do that.

Hey yeah thanks for the heads up "Get to a door frame!" or whatever.

I'm not explaining plate tectonics to you, Jorge.


"We're kind of lucky, I guess. All those random cameramen out in the wilderness."

"I know, right? Like if it's not hikers or people dressed like rhydon it's cameramen!"

. . . oh man, no. I'm out.

Oh god DANGIT.

Oh yeah. Care about safety NOW.

Darn you, old man.

Hey yeah, aftershocks of explosions. I get it.


Jorge, I will trade you.

. . . still offering that trade.

Way to go you've doomed us (me) all.

If you can manage to sneak the door closed he'll run right into it, it's great. He'll do it if you just slam it too, though.

Man, send Lucas out there, you've got him insured!


Hey, yeah don't send us together like some sort of super team or anything. Send me, the 12-year-old.

Be quiet, Lucas.

Music: RSE - Team Aqua/Magma Hideout (Anime version)

Aww man. That's mean.

Oh great, it's you idiots. I'm an idiot and forgot all about you. (You are forgettable, you see.) At least I can rest assured you were all too stupid to bring a second bomb?

What about the island that was in the middle of the lake to begin with?

. . . oh you JERKS.

Quantity, meet quality.

Aww man, my things better be fine. Also, I guess Prof. Rowan and mom.

Man, magikarp don't deserve that. Also, I'm surprised this lake doesn't have as many gyarados in it.

Hey buddy. Kinda need you to replace all that water.

Oh. Other things I wish I were more known for but sure.

Was she the one with the hair like the one thing or the hair like the other thing?


Music: Team Rocket Battle - HeartGold/SoulSilver

Choro Notes: Saturn
Saturn's a lot more. . . "not a crazy fucker" than Mars and Jupiter, but he's still kind of screwy. His pokémon of choice is also nowhere near as obnoxious as Mars's Purugly or Jupiter's Skuntank. It can still be a problem though.

Another bad guy, another golbat having the back of its skull caved in against a cave wall.

THAT'S what Mars's hair reminds me of! :D

. . . . that. That's a good trick.

. . . I'm noticing a trend with you Galactic guys.

don't crit don't crit don't crit

Ha ha ha!

Viola has the bug-type moves covered and you're set for beams at the moment.


'cause you dumb.

Well then you have a large supply of it from which to purpose!

Wait. Wait, you guys were LITERALLY going to make a new universe? LITERALLY?!

. . . poop.