Part 15: I don't give a shit about wood, I'm not a chemist

I didn't link the music last update because it's weird here.

PU-Anthell.ogg

This is the music for Anthell and for Route 10. It's a remix of something. When outdoors it has this overlaid on top of it:

BaykalForest.ogg

You know it's a rainforest when it has generic rainforest sounds overlaid.


Our passage this way is blocked by bugs.


...Ha? He's not even named Grylls or anything.


Splendifowl is Birbie's final form, and it's a half-decent special attacker.


Spark is Zapmander's electric move of choice for now, and it's not because Spark is good. It's level 37 when it really gets juiced.

Or when I give it Thunder and roll the dice, but fuck that.


This gag repeats like seventy times over the course of the game, with the only change being in which environment the trainer is doomed.

It's never funny.


The perfect place to put a French-speaking woman to arbitrarily reference Kalos is in the middle of the fucking rainforest. OK????


Route 10 isn't nearly as dangerous as the NPCs make it out to be, honestly.


PU-AmatreeTown.ogg

It's a Mother 3 song, Monkey Delivery Service, barely adjusted to a different soundfont.


Despite being extremely backwater, it has the same NPCs and tilesets as a regular town! There was even a TV and Wii U in one building at first, but that got removed at some point before 1.1.

You know, instead of realizing how fucking pointless this gimmick is and putting more TVs and Wii Us in.

Oh yeah this guy is telling me about ANTHELL


It has THE QUEEN OF BUGS


OCCASIONALLY PEOPLE DIE THERE

this has been your daily urban legend about bug's. Or maybe a shitty summary of invasion of the spider-ants. you know it's kinda funny how many good endings come from saying "NOPE" and going home after just seeing spider-ants.


It's like they went all in on this remoteness gimmick but forgot to make it have a point besides there just not being a PC.


TIKO is the GYM LEADER. He DANCES. That is HALF of his CHARACTERIZATION.




Oh hey there buddy. Toxic inflicts Poison's weird cousin that starts at 1/16th instead of 1/8th but doubles every turn. Also, everything that can use TMs can learn Toxic.


In addition to not having a PC, the shops trade in those berries you find on the trees instead of money.


They sell some okay swag.


They also sell Pokemon. Evolved ants and the fire-types from Route 9.

None of it's really worth it because you can't grow berries worth a shit and it's easier to get all of this stuff elsewhere for money. The restoratives are at least in bulk.


Tiko, the gym leader, has been missing since he went to Anthell.

I guess it isn't an urban legend if the only important person in the entire town gets eaten by spider-ants.


So he gives us the juice to get past eight sprites.

You see that red-roofed building? It's the Pokemon Center Equivalent. Really, this town has all the normal town features except a PC.

Why bother with your gimmick, then?


Anyway we spray these ants and piss them off.


There are trainers past the ant blockade. They are mildly insane.


And they all have bug names like Roach or Fly.


They say creepy things about Mother. It's blatantly obvious this is Seikamater.


And there's a lot.


They only have five bugs between them.


The evolved ants, Nimflora, and Unymph.


That's not a lot of variety for how many there are to chew through.


At the bottom we find Tiko tied up in a web. There are a bunch of bugs, but they're patient and don't do anything.


Tiko also WEARS A SKIRT. That is the OTHER HALF of his CHARACTER.

Do you think this goof is inherently wacky? No? Well fuck.


Unfortunately the Queen is awake and she's mad we're spouting bad jokes!


We can't catch Seikamater because fuck you.


She's a great big normal/bug thing with a wacky color scheme.


Rocket Man can down her in two Flame Impacts, but she helpfully demonstrates what happens if you don't have a really good offense.


She can buff both defenses.


And heal herself.

And why not just complete the trifecta of order moves? They're Vespiquen exclusive in the official games, but at least here it's another bug queen getting them.

Anyway, if you can't beat her down extremely quickly she can buff her defenses sky-high and heal up, and she's no slouch at killing you.


It's okay we can't catch Seikamater, because with this...

With that we've saved Tiko and can take his gym challenge!


Do I, like, tie it on her face with string?

The Sharp Beak is the flying-type boost item, perfect for a thing that spams flying moves.


Is this a homosexual slur or a literal description of a fire-type specialist who dances as a hobby?