Part 24: My First Kiss Was In The Rain. It's Gone Downhill Since Then.
Tsukinami is big on arbitarily naming things with Japanese words and vaugely defined prophecy and ninjas and using the Tin Tower music because JAPAN.
It means MOON WAVE do you get it?? Yes there's a statue of Daikatuna there.
One of these outdoor stalls sells gimmick Pokeballs. Quick and Dusk are hard to beat so these aren't that useful in most cases. Level Balls for massive massive gaps and Heavy Balls for some of the legendaries are the only useful ones.
so this place sells every really good hold item at once. Choice items lock the user into the first move they select but boost Attack/Speed/Special Attack by 50%, for Band/Scarf/Specs respectively. Focus Sashes protect the users from one-hit-KOs once and Focus Bands have 12% chance to block any KO.
The choice items are the big buys here, especially a scarf for Duke Nukem as he only spams Hyper Voice anyway.
A guy chops down a plant with his bare hand. This would be impressive if Cut were an HM in Uranium.
The old man is some sort of ninja master sensei type, and as is required of them he has psychic powers.
Except the game won't call them psychic powers in a setting with psychics.
The six arts are the stats, yes.
And his six students are those EV training ninja. I could do this sidequest now but, you know,
The scrolls do not say "Enemies on every side" 1/10 leaving awful yelp review
The two clans are TSUKI and NAMI
do you get it yet
Hokage is here and he wants a rematch to reclaim his title. It'll be later.
That's not everything in town but I guess I wanted to get Fly so here we go!
The White Tiles: 13 Black Tiles: 7 Gym is- hold on. That's not right.
These statues are the clearest depiction of Aotius and Mutios we have. They're literally yin and yang, complete with the little dots.
And the ninja clans' rulers are the gym leaders. They aren't king and queen because [muffled excuses].
This is theologically very concerning.
Anyway the tile count is the gimmick of this gym. We have to make the numbers match by stepping on them.
This first one is really easy.
The ninja speak in haiku, but not good ones, and it doesn't work when text boxes only show two lines at a time.
The junior trainers have mono-type teams, to match absolutely nothing the leaders do.
The massive number of events on this map, 224 from this tile puzzle, makes it lag like a motherfucker.
The ninjas in black are the wave ones. Their names are random japanese words I know from anime. Their sprites are awkward edits of Janine's from HG/SS.
Zapmander continues to be better than everyone else, by getting his own mega evolution.
It has Drizzle, which causes rain. It improves water move damage and makes Thunder never miss, and wouldn't you know it, Zapmander has a high special attack with STAB on water moves and Thunder!
Mega Electruxo is one overpowered jerk.
The white ninjas are the moon ones. Their names are random japanese words I know from anime. Their sprites are awkward edits of the Shadow Triad from B2/W2.
They're all easily defeated by Zapmander and My Fursona.
I thought you had to have them balanced right when you get to the door, but it turns out if at any point you get them equal it is solved. How dull!
It's like Fire Blast & friends, but I want Surf's perfect accuracy.
Do you need so many fucking tiles, jeez.
GET IT, GET THE NAME AND HOW IT WORKS
Anyway we're finally here at the gym leaders.
You see clan moon has this white thing going and clan wave has a black thing and I don't get it at all honestly
Oh they're married, seriously why are they still prince and princess?
Oh boy more story time!
Unlike Rosalind this one is easy to summarize in two text boxes.
So for making out to end a war, the gods bequeathed the two with divine gifts.
Yes, they are over 100 years old and still look like vauge young adult-age. It's very stupid and pointless.
Since there's two, we have to fight one then the other in a marathon of conflict. I have easy plans.
OFSelects: Boris- Feedbacker
Immortal priest-king ninja in yukata or something, what a world.
He leads with an Umbreon. As you expect it's Moonlight/Toxic/Confuse Ray/Dark Pulse with Leftovers, to be as annoying as possible. But I know its weakness.
Substitute, which I got way back when, has been biding its time for this Umbreon. Confuse Ray and Toxic can't hit, and Mega Gyarados's dark type and high special defense means Dark Pulse can't break it.
Eventually Kaito gives up and withdraws Umbreon, but that gives me enough time to Dragon Dance to +3.
Luchabra effortlessly breaks the sub, but Close Combat's defense decrease does not agree with it.
And with her immense power, Nep-Nep can just one-shot Luchabra, Umbreon, and his other thing Vilucard.
And his last Pokemon is an Arbok? Okay I guess it has Intimi-
One of Uranium's new megas for existing Pokemon! Arbok gets more medusa-esque, and becomes Dark/Poison.
And its ability becomes Petrify, that -1 speed thing that Chimaconda has.
+2 Aqua Tail.
That's Kaito down, but Hinata's up next!
Do you get it yet, she has a sun-themed team, as expected of the leader of clan moon.
Also that vs. sprite is kinda weird.
Feedbacker's still going, it'll never stop going.
Nep Nep instantly obliterates this Flareon with Aqua Tail, but that's not enough of a story.
This Flareon is a real bastard, and not in the way you're thinking. Flareon cannot learn Solar Beam, yet this one has it. The player cannot obtain a Heat Rock at any point, but since the other rocks are available that's a different kind of mistake. What's not a mistake is that this thing was designed around having the ability Drought, which it actually did in earlier versions! But it has Flareon's actual hiddena bility Guts, so it's very confused and Hinata's entire team falls apart without 8 turns of automatic harsh sunlight.
Gellin fails to KO with a Thunderbolt. You go, Nep-Nep.
Of course both of them have three max potions, because fun.
Rocket Man can plow through things with Flame Impact.
Especially when Coatlith relies on that harsh sunlight to have basic functionality, letting Rocket Man get a free Swords Dance.
Hinata's last 'mon is Whimiscott. You know the drill now.
It has a dumb looking mega evolution.
One of these things is a little off, if you look.
Whimsicott cannot learn Spiky Shield. Nothing in Uranium learns Spiky Shield normally. That it's even in the game is weird, but here's a Whimsicott with it just to fuck you over.
You know, if it used it.
Get it, yin and yang in balance ARE WE DEEP YET
Hinata gives us a TM that does not work on Flareon. If you use sunlight through Mega Archilles, stop playing already.
Kaito gives a useful niche TM that can help some guys avoid trouble, because losing 60% of your HP isn't as crippling as Will-o-Wisp sometimes, you know?
Upon stepping out, Bamb'o calls because we have all the badges in Tandor! We'd be going to the championship now but...
Suddenly, Uranium remembers it has a story, and it's going to ram into us at rapid speeds!