Part 26: Copy/Paste
SexhaverSr, not content to just have sex and make me a shiny that gets me an Archilles, is now part of the team.
565 BST (even if the wiki insists its special attack is 80 instead of 100 (it's 100)), 60% paralysis off of Sky Fall and flinch off of Air Slash, a whole host of assets. Dunseraph is merely good unlike the excessively good guys I've been using.
Mostly, some sort of dragon angel is the most stylish way to fly.
This update is mostly sidequests because only just now do I have Fly.
Tinkerer gives us the Scuba Gear, to replace Dive.
Oh when I first got Surf I forgot to get this.
Yes, Inflagetah has a mega evolution. No, I don't know why it needs to be even better.
First time I've been able to check up with Bamb'o in a while.
I wrote a whole bunch of words about Volt Switch and they all apply to U-Turn except more things learn it and it can't be nullified.
Since we're finally here at Bamb'o's lab again, who wants another evolution roundup?
132 base speed because why not? It just needs to be faster than canon Pokemon that aren't even in this by a slim margin as a form of jacking off. Competitive lets it turn Intimidates into free +2 special attack, or Technician lets it have superpowered Draining Kiss, Icy Wind, and Frost Breath. It barely registers in the power scale but holy hell is this thing aggressively competent.
Puffluff evolves into this if it has higher speed than attack, because that coding was already included so might as well force it in somewhere!
Seriously this is the worst fucking sprite. Why does the head look glued on? Why is there no suggestion of depth to the rupee besides shading? Why, if the idea is a bug cocooned in ice, is the rupee textured like a textile?
And then it evolves into Volcarona but with even more polarized stats. Less defenses, more special attack and speed. Freeze-Dry is always a hell of an asset but christ it's a Bug/___ moth with a 550 BST, distributed as 85 base HP, high special attack, speed, and special defense and bad attack and defense, with an ability that inflicts a status on contact, and a movepool mostly suited for using Quiver Dance.
Oh but our moth sits on legs, totally different and original!
On the other hand, a chupacabra combined with a luchador is original. 110/85/85 defenses and a giant STAB drain punch lets it actually use poison/fighting's defensive attributes fairly well, with Poison Touch backing everything up. It's merely okay, which is a hell of a lot more than I can say about the moth.
Felunge evolves when it levels up and knows Rest. It naturally gets this at level 40, though the TM44 will let you do it whenever.
120/105/95 defenses, 155 attack, but it's slow and Lazy forces it into a gimmick 'mon for NPCs more than a thing you can use. Probably something you can do with it's really big movepool and Sleep Talk. Didn't grab the TM82 in Vinoville? Tough.
This thing having no special defense is oddly comforting. Look! It has a flaw that can limit its usage and prowess! I mean, you're stuck using Sniper-boosted Overheats (not a bad niche tbh) instead of some of this game's comically broken shit but if they set out to make an RU thing with the paragraphs about its strengths and weaknesses being roughly the same size, they hit it. And its BST is 498 instead of 560 with inane distribution!
Tubareel is interesting stat-wise without being obnoxious as well. An intense 100/140/85 defense set is complimented by Strong Jaw-backed Crunches or Pursuit/Knock Off with Intimidate. It doesn't have any stupid moves and has to make concessions with its movepool besides its Dark STAB instead of having everything. Now if didn't look completely baffling we'd be in business.
I like how its Pokedex namedrops aliens that don't look like literal flying saucers, as if to invite comparisons to how literal this concept is.
I think the devs were mad Bronzong wasn't the best because this has Recover, a beefy 115-base special attack, access to Overheat, Heat Wave, and Focus Blast, and frankly it's just wacky how pushed some of these things are, and how little most of it matters if they don't resist fire because Inflagetah is in this game too.
Like, Raffiti has Sketch so it has literally every move, but unlike Smeargle it has other things. 75/70/70 defenses might let it survive something, 90 speed is reasonable. 80/80 offenses are probably reasonable behind a Dark STAB. Quick Feet and Insomnia are fun abilities for something with limitless options to use. Like, there's a reason Smeargle has 20 base attack, you know? Yet this thing is +20/60/40/60/25/15 on Smeargle's stats.
Must everything be absurd?
I guess not. Coatlith has 110/70/70 defenses and 100 in speed and special attack, and a vizier's curse to make its movepool automatically be Giga Drain/Dragon Pulse/Earth Power/Nasty Plot. Levitate and Chlorophyll are useful sometimes. It's just ok.
Sally is a girl, hence why she doesn't have a mane. They turned of layer 3 in paint.net.
Fire/Poison is actually defensively amazing besides the ground weakness, and 95/90/100 defenses are enough for it to get in there and lay down Petrify and get a Nasty Plot off, or just use Overheat with Contrary because why the fuck is that a thing!?
Xenomite becomes more obvious of a knockoff. Make jokes about Onix using Harden, at least no Pokemon are actually modeled off of H.R. Geiger artwork.
Haagross has a pretty good set of resistances, with Magnet Rise in its toolbox. Like everything in Uranium, it gets Nasty Plot, but it also has Recover and Toxic Spikes if you want it that way. It gets a signature move, Sticky Terrain, that blocks priority moves. Sun & Moon came with Psychic Terrain, that does that and boosts psychic move damage. Undersold a bit there, eh, sport?
And we round it off with two of the eeveelutions, obtained through hold items instead of leveling them up at specific spots.
Giving props to Uranium when it deserves it. They didn't put either of them at the ass-end of the game.
Tsukinami has a hotel, because when you think reclusive ninja village past deadly pirate-filled oceans, you think tourism.
Kiricorn counts, so Elmer counts.
Kiricorn's mega evolution basically makes it Mega Absol but better, by having more stats and more moves. The only reason I'd say special Mega Kiricorn would be more common is Moonblast's accuracy, but really it can go either way with equal proficiency.
Fennel is a character from Black/White who introduced the Pokemon Dream World, a weird website one could go to to see that the servers were stuffed and if you were lucky, chase the pipe dream of getting hidden abilities.
She's actually part of a sidequest, as Dick Solomon mentions something he saw for once. Fennel may specialize in Pokemon dreams, but dreams are dreams.
This is where this sidequest ends, as it isn't finished.
C'est la vie.
The actual move tutors, who are responsible for some of the absolute fuckery with movepools. They require four shards of a given color. You find shards from coral smashing. It's a pain, but a Harptera with access to Gunk Shot, Drill Run, Knock Off, and Sticky Web is certainly tempting!
Labyrinth has some deep water and since I have Fly I go for it.
One thing is the mystery 3rd fossil.
Explosion works off of its 5th gen mechanics, meaning it no longer halves defense. Sad! But -ate abilities' boost to damage gave Explosion a second life as the one-stop one-shot hail mary it was. Theriamps like Zapnap are the winners here. Glad!
You can also teach it to Chainite, offing itself is the last place it can go for its edge anyway.
Rochfale again, for the fossil guy.
Oh, the 1/8 chance for a girl, nice.
I regret evolving you. What is this, a hunchback in a wrestling singlet with a gold face guard and its forearms replaced with ingots?
Rock/Fighting, high attack and HP, not much else. Yada yada.
While a bit worse than Drain Punch in power (and yes it's 70, I checked moves.dat), Golden Fist has a needed utility.
Midas can generate money with those ingots she had surgically attached. 5 per level, doubled by the amulet coin, may not seem like much, but it's per-use so I can get $2140 per run of that rich boy in the second town! Not enough to buy out everything, but I never have to make the choice between fun toys or basic essentials again!
Oh yeah, I replaced the wild Pokemon battle music. This the 5th and final change.
OFSelects: T. Rex - The Slider
With the other shit dealt with, I finally get the ninjas. They have the same lines except with their specific name and stat.
They each hand an item that halves speed when held but slaps an extra 4 EVs of their respective stat on whatever is normally yielded. This is HP, so a Tubareel would give 5 HP and 2 defense.
The only ninja that's hard to find is special attack at route 10, because we go past "out of the way" to "seriously weren't there some walls?" levels of off the beaten path.
With all six gathered, the ninja try to pretend to have individuality. All that happens is the HP guy likes curry because it's a cliche I saw in disgaea 2.
Also this is the punchline.
I know I will at least once, but I don't want to mess up typing Ninja Ranger Good Human Hokage Dick Solomon.
Yatagaryu is that weird dragon Cameron had. It's apparently a ninja master's Pokemon, though the game never says if yes Cameron Stormbringer is a ninja master as well.
Pro: the game lets me decline this to save after the dialogue but before the gift Pokemon to make sure I get a decent one.
Con: why couldn't you for S51 or Garlikid
Con: the game is confused about even flags a little
Anyway, Volchik is the first of this game's three psudeo-legendaries, Pokemon that start off weak and level slow and evolve slower, but end up as 600-BST masterpieces of combat.
Once the clones are shoo'd, the ninja training dojo is ready. The ninjas are all in one spot, and their punching bag minigames are free now. You can literally hammer A to max a selected EV, since the menu defaults to the minigame.
But what's this about training battles?
Each ninja has 5 copies of the same Pokemon, and they give 3 EVs of their stat. Dunseraphs for HP, you see. So it's a base 15 EVs per battle. The power items increase this to 35 per. It'd take a little over eight battles to max an EV this way. If you have something for their one thing, it's really easy to blow them away, like Ice Beam for Dunseraphs.
Trainer battle music also hit its 5th and final form.
OFSelects: Lazerhawk - Overdrive
Attack guy has Baariette, and like My Fursona they are instantly evaporated by fairy moves, like, say, Mega Syrentide's Hyper Voice. They like Foul Play's high BP even if they have much higher attack than the target.
Defense guy has Gargryphs, and any reasonable Surf or Giga Drain should down them. Hell, you can teach a lot of shit Earth Power too.
Each ninja is worth 1560 ryo, not a lot but better than non-golden fist sources.
Special attack has Krilvolvers, and even without very specific Thunderbolts it should be trivial to poke their tiny special defense.
Special defense has Electruxo, and while Electruxo is built like a house and has only two weaknesses, Grass-types are well poised to bash them with Giga Drains.
Electruxo is also the best experience of these guys, cresting over 4k per with the Lucky Egg. Dare I say, 20k per battle is... reasonable? We finally have a reasonable experience source? What the fuck?!
Speed has Inflagetah, and Inflagetah is as Inflagetah does. Extreme Speed and Flame Impact backed by Acceleration. It might be easier to just use ther power item for speed, since it takes some real rocky bastards to withstand this much abuse.
This ninja stuff is so convenient I am confused it's by the same devs who put Fly so late in the game. The money may not be great but it's enough to buy a revive or a quick ball and a half. The EXP won't help for getting to 100 but it sure as hell is enough for endgame levels. The EV training either through fights or punching bags helps you get an edge over your opponents, who are as a rule rocking a flat 85 across the board.
Yet the watering can is in the post-game.
With all that business settled and my team buffed up from secret ninja training, it's time to go to the Vinoville Hazard Zone and stop CURIE once and for all!