Part 33: Lucille has messed up my mind
CURIE hands over 12K francs for their defeat. Even insane terrorists have to respect league rules.
CURIE's a bit pissed about that whole "pp stalling" thing.
Heh, idiot, you can't do anything without making creatures fight!
Ignore that part where just that happened.
Urayne, lacking PP, falls onto CURIE.
Actan decides now is a good time to jump out, after CURIE's mask breaks to reveal a teal-haired woman underneath. And I guess Actan removes the radiation somehow???
Lacking in particular momentum, someone has to run in.
Kellyn explains things that are blatantly obvious.
He's going to have to study this face for twelve hours, until then:
The important NPCs show up to congratulate us more, until
It's revealed that CURIE was the player's long-thought-dead mother all along!
Absolutely no one saw that coming!!
Yes thanks for explaining Jortsman, that's great of you.
Kellyin shouts at interpol agent Stormbringer. He's lashing out about his wife being a nuclear terrorist.
You know, since he spent years investigating that very spot.
"I mean, I knew she was a stone-cold fucking criminal, but"
Well mom always was a bit mass-murder-y.
She has used the brain machine too much and it made her brain break.
Cameron guesstimates the most convienient possible time requirement for a telepathy machine to cause terrorism.
Theo brings up that time he was stuck in a pod.
Hey, remember when the game forced us to push a button, and immediately after was CURIE fucking things up? Yeah.
Too bad it doesn't.
Theo remembers that being stuck in a pod is exceptionally edgy, and his wasn't very long at all!
Jortsman narrates obvious things for us, fuck him.
Kellyn takes the most evasive as to Lucille facing charges for nuclear terrorism, yet technically reasonable answer possible, and the two leave.
Meanwhile, Actan reveals it was actually fishing Urayne out of the lava.
Everyone states about five different ways to say it isn't trying to kill us by punching us anymore.
Urayne summons brainial beams to chat.
Composer never expected this to be the bittersweet dramatic backstory music, and yet here it is.
Actan gave Urayne an energy source, so it will no longer be driven by hunger.
Which means we finally stopped nuclear terrorism!
I don't know how Lucille survived for a decade, especially after the pod was unsealed. Can you feed someone with nuclear arms?
Urayne was just wanting to live, hence why it obeyed every cruel whim of a sadistic supervillain.
Secret research lab deep underneath Epsilon plant on...
The island doesn't have a name. I'm calling it Skull Island.
"Can it literally punch atoms?" "No it's not quite precise enough yet." "Dammit!"
Until... well it's hard to maintain suspense when you already know the entire story because it's not complicated at all.
The acronym is stupid, btw. Totally thought of the name first.
At first, Lucille treated it cold and formally.
Urayne drops some deep stuff instead of asking hey what's the pizza place's number I'm pretty hungry.
"that sounds really fuckin stupid" "Yeah, it is."
"still wouldnt show me their foil charizard, the shithead."
Kind of a lame-ass naming ceremony.
But I guess you wouldn't want too many people in the room when you're dubbed "piss".
"There's a place called Anthell."
"that sounds stupid."
"It is. It really is."
I imagine a power grid reliant on one thing punching atoms wouldn't be that great and Larkspur was shitty enough that he probably only had nuclear terrorism in mind since he's generically evil, but whatever.
This is about the time Larkspur got busted.
Lucille hid Urayne's thoughts because it wasn't meant to have them.
Remember Porygon? Me neither.
Lucille vows to protect the fledging creature.
She's put to the test!
You know, I'd think a reactor exploding would damage the tank, but, uh
So for ten years all they had to talk about was being hungry and Anthell.
The red siren effect continues into narration.
In both fights, Urayne's moveset is Atomic Punch/Half-Life/Quantum Leap/Overheat. I dunno. Felt like bringing it up.
But uh you still used your powers to hurt people because...
Urayne notices Hero of Tandor Ranger Ninja Good Human Hokage Dick Solomon's inherent nobility.
Urayne decides to travel to the world iwth Dick Solomon.
And this is finally when we get Urayne. I doubt Uranium has an ubers scene because the last save opportunity is before the fight and the game will auto-save with the ending. You kinda can't savescum it.
Actan decides to fuck off somewhere instead of stay with us.
Suddenly less useful people arrive and ask about the championship.
Theo, overwhelmed by Dick Solomon's heroic actions like PP stalling, forfeits the championship, meaning...
We're now Champion Hero of Tandor Ranger Ninja Good Human Hokage Dick Solomon!
Don't yell at me!
I only have five Pokemone because Actan buggered off.
Oh well, the real hero gets to be honored.
Yay! A really bland screen!
The credits take place ocver assorted fanart. Making fun of it would be a real low thing to do. Instead I'll make fun of the only people who deserve it:
None of you seven did your job properly! Why is Tiko even a thing?!
Eh, I know I've been critical, but Uranium's still better that FR/LG.
But just because the creidts roll doesn't mean we're done.......................................