Part 34: It's well past the point of going home
After the credits we are transported by some strange wizardry back home.
Kellyn and Lucille are here. Why they aren't at their ostensible home in Bealbeach is beyond me.
I can still sing the dead mom blues right, I almost had a band together.
Auntie leaves so that Kellyn can monologue at us. It has two main points:
It's weird this game ends on this distant of a hope. Too bitter, not enough sweet.
At least Auntie gives us a cookie.
Immediately on leaving home, Theo ambushes us to tell us how cool we are some more and restate what we just did.
actually forget this for like ever
Jortsman continues to tell us what we just did and now that we can do whatever without the nonspecific threat of nuclear catastrophe.
This is the one I do, because his other idea is Angelure Town which isn't a part of the game.
He also gives me this thing I hate.
I've mentioned hidden abilities, and we've seen some, like Poison Heal Gliscor or Contrary Chimaconda. The Poke Radar is Uranium's means of accessing them.
Uranium considers 194 a complete Pokedex. I'm going to get 201.
It's finally night when I get to Bamb'o's lab so I finally get a Gliscor. It's unironically one of my favorites, and I've waged countless wars of attrition with one. I miss Flying Gem-boosted Acrobatics...
Laissure has a meaty Earthquake and enough other moves to make it work. It's got a new-for-Uranium move called Subduction that's sorta like Overheat and Earthquake had a baby, and its mediocre special attack is carried surprisingly far by getting Eruption for no adequately explored reason. It's held back by 95 speed and no good recovery options, so it's a straight upgrade to Donphan rather than a broken motherfucker like most Uranium things.
Urayne changes from Alpha to Beta formes by the Nuclear Core item. The Gamma forme is unobtainable and exists entirely to make a harder final boss.
The tinkerer gives the item to replace Waterfall now, even before I get Waterfall. I think the game expected me to go to Theo's place (where Cameron would give me the HM) immediately instead of ignoring it.
Through imporperly-layered tiles we can finally go to Route 11 freely.
I'm fine with such a niche TM being hidden so. Better than keeping Flamethrower locked away.
I remember in RSE when Gardevoir and Weezing having this made them big deals by default, then D/P introduced this TM and like every ghost and fire could get some real physical tanking on. Offense was free to get stronger because defensive moves became better. It's important to provide counterplays.
Uranium misses this, because Inflagetah is immune to burn.
I've got a decent stack of repels!
It's time to pop the radar!
The radar's mechanics are really weird and complicated so lemme sum it up real quick. Use it in grass and some tiles shake.
These have mons. If you defeat or catch the mon it shakes again, and you fight another mon of the same species. Otherwise, like if you fight something else due to bad luck, it ends. Or sometimes it ends arbitrarily. The longer it goes the more likely hidden abilities and shinies are.
It takes 50 steps between actual activvations. Somehow, Uranium's radar feels "off". I can't put it into words, but I was never good at the radar to begin with, so what the fuck do I know?
I keep at it in a better patch of grass. Since the radar only works in grass, Uranium has a lot of things that don't ever appear in grass otherwise show up in random places with the radar. Like, say, Route 11 has Devimp since otherwise it's only in caves.
So here's a Devimp, showing off its hidden ability. And the increased rate of shinies from the radar. And a name that's half Powerpuff Girls reference and a band name.
Disenchant is new for Uranium, and I really really like abilities that take things that aren't resistances (dark/fire is neutral to fairy) and makes them resistances. Its normal abilities are Defiant (+2 attack whenever a stat is lowered) and Intimidate (-1 attack to the opposing team when it enters (and what Defiant mainly answers)) so the HA isn't necessary. I just like it because it makes it edgier. Little effite fairies can't even touch coldsteel the pokemen.
Okay, so this next bit needs a bit of preamble.
"the first update posted:
After tragic backstory, we get control. First thing I do is check the PC item storage to get a potion, like in Red & Blue.
This is the only time PC item storage is relevant as the player has infinite item capacity. I don't know why besides that it's a default part of the Pokemon Essentials script package.
This means the PC has multiple menus, but the only one I have used since withdrawing this potion is the Pokemon boxes. This means I mash through everything else until I get to the boxes.
The game has done nothing to break me of this habit until suddenly,
A post-game only event happens instead of the boxes, the only hint I was about to run into this avoided because the normal PC selection menu was replaced by nonsense. A menu the entire game up to this point I skipped through as quick as possible because the only pay-off for not doing so is that it takes longer.
Also this happens randomly, it just so happened to hit me as I was trying things with Chicoatls. It happens randomly at the PC so it replaces the menu you'd access to get ready to capture a level 90 wild Pokemon.
Oh yeah, this event involves Pokemon at a higher level than god. Because god's level 80.
Yes, the music is a chiptune remix of Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.
And you have to do simon says to progress, for no reason, since there's no penalty for failure.
It's extra tacky.
After two rounds you hit the 'punks, obviously.
They're level 90, in a double battle. You may not know this, but against a wild double battle you can only catch one Pokemon because you have to KO the other first. So even with everything else you can't get both punks.
This event only occurs once. You can't get the other one without trading.
Since I have Zapface and a bunch of wild chicoatls I am in no shape to even try catching one. God, everything about obtaining your own Daft Punk is ill-conceived and poorly executed.
If I weren't a filthy fucking hacker this might be the end of my Pokedex dreams.
420DrakeIt up there is my post-game Fly-haver, since it's a dragon that I haven't really used before and I like dragons.
Now that I have the ability to climb waterfalls, let's find some areas that are post game-only due to being behind waterfalls.
HIM is now a big bad Beliaddon. Beliaddon's name is a fusion of Belial, a demon who may or may not be the devil or a personification of evil, and Abaddon, the personification of the torments of damnation who may also be the king of the locusts that destroy humanity in the end times. Beliaddon is a literal demon from Hell.
"Beliaddon's pokedex posted:
Its kind came out of a fiery chasm which contained an otherworldly portal. A furnacehotter than the sun burns within its chest. If it burns you, the pain will never fade.
It's the third of Uranium's psudeolegendaries, and the one with 145 base attack and the most edge.
Its signature move modifies normal type matchups and is always super-effective against fairies, slicing through homo shit and my mom's bitching instantly. This includes Syrentide and Luxelong, who normally resist fire.
It's also an absurdly high-level move. HIM is in fact the lowest level a Beliaddon can be and have Infernal Blade.
I just want to mention for a second that Dick Solomon is using a pickaxe to pull a surfboard up a giant waterfall.
It's actually a waterfall past a sliding puzzle in the second cave that has the important waterfall.
We're immediately accosted by a high-tier patreon backer!
No, really, that's what happened. A guy helped finance Pokemon Uranium so hard he's now an NPC for this post-game area.
There's carvings in an ice wall. We don't get to read them.
Instead Adam relates what they supposedly say to us.
Apparently Lanthan is in the Lanthanite Core of Mt. Lanthanite. Even after finding Actan at Mt. Actanite, this feels like a bit of a stretch.
Adam is a partner for this area.
Five seconds past the carvings, we run into another person who knows about this part of the cave.
HIM may or may not be overleveled for everything in the game. Or maybe it's just his soul on fire making him seem above everything he fights. He effortlessly rips of the wings of this butterfly and buries it alive.
Funeral of Hearts.
Fuck this gimmick.
Damn staight, it's me, Champion Hero of Tandor Ranger Ninja Good Human Hokage Dick Solomon, and my demon from hell.
I kinda like the look of this screen, as little sense as it makes but this part is super-short so it doesn't do anything with it really.
Probably for the best, all Uranium knows to do is strength puzzles.
Get it? It's Game of Thrones! At least this isn't a reference that beats me over the head.
Adam wears a Gengar hoodie.
Why, in the post-game, is this TM here? Hell, why did Uranium make this a TM? Every psychic is better using Psychic.
It does look like a place to save at before walking two tiles up and pressing A.
Adam of course has to throw down, because you don't get put in a Pokemon game to just be a partner in a dungeon.
Seriously dude your Gengar hoodie looks goofy.
HIM is very high level from just plowing through everything, and gets to plow through everything more as a result.
Normally this would be a problem but HIM also has Drain Punch and Earthquake to round out his coverage.
oh my god
So the game has Gengar and its mega stone in it entirely because it's Adam's favorite Pokemon.
Uranium's Pokedex has 201 Pokemon in it. No Ghastly or Haunter.
Buried alive by... Crunch?
Yeah I was right the first time.
Gengar shouldn't try to get into open fights with physical dark-types, unless you get that 70% Focus Blast hit.
Lanthan shows up to tell us to get off of its lawn.
Lathan is a physical house of a Ground/Steel Pokemon.
HIM decapitates it with Infernal Blade, slaying it instantly.
So, yeah, I accidentally murdered Lanthan because I wanted to see what would happen. Turns out Adam screams in horror as Lathan's carcass melts into the magma.
Then we wake up back at the top of the waterfall?
Turns out this game is really nice about this legendary and has some sort of groundhog day thing if you decapitate Lanthan instead of catching it.
Next try I only mostly beat it up and thow Heavy Balls at it.
After all, it weighs a ton and a half.
The moose has some ludicrously good stats to go with Ground/Steel typing. 110/130/109 on the defenses, and 106 base attack is good enough when it's backing a STAB Earthquake and Metal Cruncher (that move Actan had). Its ability is Sheer Force, which helps its Steel options immensely but doesn't do much for Earthquake. It does have Nasty Plot and Calm Mind and a robust special movepool of moves with side effects, so perhaps its somewhat piddly special attack could get to work too.
It has Stealth Rocks, Knock Off, Thunder Wave, Toxic, and Substitute to go with its resilience. And Torment. Perhaps a Tormenthan would be workable like Tormentran was.
I haven't mentioned it, but East and West Tandor have their own maps for Fly. The only way to quickly go from one to the other is the boat between Venisi and Bealbeach.
Minor nuisance #255. One more and it rolls over to none, at least!