Part 9: Crasheriffic.
Other horribly retranslated bootlegs should get lp'd.
Considering the reception this LP has gotten, I'm figuring that weird bootlegs and other nonsensical games will be my LP idiom for the future. I'm having fun, the goons are laughing, no horrifying Pokemon fanfiction is being posted, everybody wins.
Also, now there's an actual forum goon by the name of VOLCANO BAKEMEAT. Speaking of Bakemeat, I'm starting to worry that the second post of the thread won't be able to hold all the recipes and entries.
Anyway, because someone requested it, let's have a look at Terry's coach card!
Not a whole lot to say about it, really, compared to the rest of the game the card is pretty uninteresting.
And the gymnasium guru guy is apparently a Buffy fan.
So yeah, the theme of this gymnasium is ice if that wasn't immediately obvious due to the Slip N' Slide flooring.
The subtheme is "horrible game-breaking crashes". Something about the coaches here really pisses the game off. I'll provide some suitably surreal Pokemon music. Jiugs in particular have a nasty habit of making the game explode, if you look closely at the bottom-right of this mangled mess you can see it.
Right, let's try not taking on that particular coach on the other side of the room.
I'm the one who played the game, and I can't even tell what's going on here.
Finally, some stability! Boomr, show that Hole what you can do!
Okay, that's not what I meant. Although, it's rather impressive that somehow, through some deranged way, the crash screen's color palette got changed.
The other coaches, thankfully, are a bit more stable.
Time to fight Willow, who is actually an old man. And a gourmand, apparently. This is a man who has sampled many a quality Bakemeat in his time.
Huh, Bawu's evolved form does horrible things to the game, what about unevolved?
How does the emulator crashing sound?
I'll be honest, this had me very worried that the LP would have to stop here due to this part of the game being so broken that it couldn't be completed.
Well, let's try an instant kill cheat code, maybe if I can get rid of the damn Elf before it can fuck up the game this can be salvaged.
Pictured: The game locking up.
Okay, Plan B. AKA "Time to blow shit up!"
Guano's Edu only manages to bring the Yide's health down to half, surprisingly. It's a pretty solid wall.
Toast is called in to finish the job, although not before Willow uses a drug on the Yide to heal it up.
Crap, that's what I was afraid of.
A nostrum later, and Guano is back ready to blow up yet again. It seems that taking Jiugs out in one hit is enough to stop them from crashing the game. That or I got lucky.
Terry has no interest in stepping on anything rabid, thank you.
We didn't even get to see what the badge was called this time, but at least we get the usual Skil out of the deal as well.
Judging by the description, apparently this Skil doubles Asperity, whatever that is, but only if two mutually exclusive conditions are met.
Now that we've taken care of all that, time to head to Yuanzhu city, west of the burned tower.
Boomr's Eg-Bomb makes quick work of just about everything along the way.
The road doesn't have much worth discussing yet. By this point, depraved girl scouts are just an ordinary facet of Terry's life.
Gah, it spreads from the girl scouts to adult women now! The creepy fetish crap is like a contagion!
Although this one is uninfected, it seems, choosing to discuss dairy products instead. Whatever works.
The nearby farm is small, but darn if they don't go all out on their barrels. Thematic and everything, they even moo!
The barrel in here wants to not eat fruits. Absolutely no fruits. Fine with Terry.
You put milk in the pail, and then it has milk. This isn't Missile Bomb science.
I forget if these guys learn Edu or not, but either way, the team already has Guano. Even if the little buggers shoot economically sound denominations of wealth out of their ends.
I am Magneto, master of magnet!
Uh, Porno, there's this building right behind you...
At least Terry has a concrete destination now. Thanks?
Let's poke inside the Gymnasium anyway.
The local head coach, Yuzi, has apparently been spending all of his time at the bell tower anyway. Might as well head in that direction!
Before that though, this guy in the building next to the Elf center gives Terry a Secre!
Let's check out this bell tower, anyway. Yuzi must be around somewhere.
A sailor in the vicinity horks up a speech at Terry after a battle.
The people in the tower all refer to Yuzi. Poor guy's been worried sick about something here.
Wow, Yuzi is one effeminate-looking dude.
He advertises a drugshop to the south of the city, asking Terry to go there for the sick Elf.
Turns out that Slave can't use Power to cross the whirlpools. So I catch a Jelly, which can, to fill the role.
Off towards the alleged southern drugshop!