The Let's Play Archive


by slowbeef

Part 10: Meet Chris Goldwin

edit: haha, look who accidentally hit submit while he was previewing the BBcode! Guess proofreading's gonna be under the gun here!

Previously, on Policenauts:

No smoking lecture this time, just an awkward ride in silence.

This is Beyond Coast Central Hospital, the biggest hospital on the colony.
No kidding.
Let's see what we dig up on Mr. Kenzo.

From the Prologue on out, all the gameplay script files are location based. Meaning every menu, item, and flavor text having to do with BCCH is in a single script file called GAME08.SZ. Likewise, the Prologue was GAME01.SZ, the spaceplane and spaceport was GAME02.SZ, etc.

BCCH is an important location in the game, and as such it's one of the largest of the SZ files. But we had a problem - SZ files are divded into two sections: 1. The script, where the game's logic programming happens and 2. The text, where all the text is stored. Neither of these sections can exceed 64k because the file header specifies their size with two bytes apiece. FFFF is the max value allowed, and in decimal, that's 65k. BCCH is the only place we ran over.

The good news was that Policenauts - for some reason or another - kept a lot of junk around. In other words, there's stuff that's text in the PC98 version which is voice-acted in the 3D0/PSX/Saturn versions... but the text from the PC98 version is still around in the game files, even if it's never used. So cleaning up some of the stuff Konami had left in brought GAME08.SZ back under its maximum buffer size.

If we couldn't have done that? I guess we'd have to have further re-engineered the game to accept larger SZ filesizes. I remember looking into it before I tried the cleanup method, but it fortunately wasn't necessary.

Move; Enter

Let's head inside.

We're in the lobby.
Look at this place. How are we ever gonna find someone who knows Hojo?
But this is all we have right now. Let's just ask around and see what happens.

Look; Reception

It's the hosptial's information counter. Why don't we try asking about Hojo.
Good idea.


May we speak with you for a moment?

"Hi welcome to the future where EVERYTHING is sexy!"

Yeah, so, nurses of Beyond Coast, huh? Fun fact: My mother's a nurse, so that is one costume fetish completely out the window for slowbeef. Even worse, my sister's a French maid and my aunt is a cavewoman, so I wasn't left with a lot of options growing up. No, I do not wish to extrapolate on what I mean by "options."

(Actually, these are receptionists, not nurses. The game got that right.)

Yes, which doctor are you here to see? Oh, actually - First time here, is it? Take this form and tell us about what's bothering you.
Look, there's nothing wrong with us.
We're with BCP. We need to talk to you.
The police? How can I help you?

Talk; Receptionist

We're looking for a missing person. His name is Kenzo Hojo. He's a Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals sales rep. Apparently he used to come here regularly.
A Tokugawa sales rep?
You know him?
Sales reps use the staff entrance. We never see them out here.
So who would?
You should try talking to the director.
Sounds good to me.
You'll need the director's permission to question anyone anyway.

Ask About; Director

Where do we go to see the director?
The director can be found in the director's office.
Why do I feel like an idiot.

So we can ask about the Director's Office to open that up as a new location (and we do), but there's some other neat stuff we can ask the receptionist, like:

Ask About; Hospital

This is the largest hospital on Beyond. We've also been designated as one of the colony's emergency relief facilities in the event of an accident or disaster. Our organ transplantation technology is the most advanced in the world. We're well known even on Earth. There are many people who come all the way from Earth to receive treatment here.
It's easier to obtain organs here on Beyond than it is on Home, you see.
Why's that?
They've established a unified organ distribution network and transplant coordination system here. There still isn't a consensus between countries on Earth on how to handle the organ issue. You have to go through a lot of red tape to get anywhere there.

Ask About; Hospital

The first floor consists of outpatient examination rooms, while the second floor and above house patient rooms and ORs. There's also a zero G treatment ward located in the center of the colony.
Yeah, we saw the elevator outside.
We have approximately 800 doctors on staff, divided into 25 departments.

Ask About; Her

So, is there a name I can put to this beautiful face?
Are you... trying to hit on me?
Destiny has obviously brought us together for some reason we've yet to understand. I'm just trying to get to know you, that's all.
Those lines will get you nowhere, buddy.

Harumph then!

Move; Director's Office

What? Who? Reception? From like a second ago? God, we really are the worst cops alive.

You're the director?
You were expecting a man?
You just... don't seem like your typical director. That's a Home accent I detect.

I call bullshit on this conversation. You see this in games every so often where there's female... I dunno, Bazooka Captain or Army Ranger or something usually reserved for a man. And the main character goes, "You're that position?!?!" And the woman calls him out on it, and later proves herself. And we all learn something about pre-conceived notions, and maybe even ourselves.

But a hospital director? Come on, Jonathan, women were in that position in like late twentieth century. At least he makes a token attempt to cover it up.

Meet Chris Goldwin, who shares a voice actress with Lorraine Hojo.

I'm Ed Brown, head of Vice.
I'm Jonathan Ingram. I'm here from -
Ha-haaa, I knew it! I thought I recognized you guys. You were Policenauts, weren't you?
Uhh, yes...?
You mean you don't remember me? We posed together for that magazine cover when I was a model. About 30 years ago. Remember?
Ooohh! You're Chris? Little Chris? Wow, you've really grown up!
Oh yeah, I remember.
Grown up more than I'd like. I can't believe it's you guys. What a neat surprise. So what's up?

We're here about a missing person. His name is Kenzo Hojo.
Hojo? Never heard of him. Is he a patient here?
He's a sales rep with Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals. They said you do business with them.
May we speak with whoever handles your pharmaceuticals?
Sure, I guess you mean our pharmacist. He's in charge of all our drugs. Anything else?

Ask About; The Pharmacy

You have your own pharmacy here?
Beyond has the same medical system you find in Japan, where a doctor can also serve as pharmacist. When people get their prescription in a hospital, they'll receive their medication from its pharmacy. We have our own pharmacy since there's no separation between prescribing and dispensing in our medical industry.
The profit margin for drugs here is astronomical. Doctors rake in an extra 20 to 30% by dispensing themselves. Hospitals and drug companies make a killing in this system because the price of drugs for patients is so high. One of the reasons Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals has become so successful is because it lobbied for the implementation of the Japanese system on Beyond in the early days of the colony. Plus there's the fact that people here prefer to take a drug for something even if they don't actually need it. All this has led to over-prescription, a large drug profit margin, and a medical industry that benefits doctors and hospitals instead of patients.

(Note: This is not a misprint! Ed legitimately has strong feelings and did thorough research about prescriptions on Beyond.)

Personally, I'm against doing things this way. We should be working on separating the industry like places on Home. But as a businesswoman, it's great for us. The hospital wouldn't be where it is today without this system.
Yeah, I get all that, but what about the pharmacist?
Oh yeah, the pharmacist. You mean Jun Ishida.

Ask About; Ishida

What can you tell us about this Ishida?
Jun Ishida is an employee of Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals assigned to us here at the hospital. He can be a bit of an odd character, but he gets the job done.
He works for Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals?
We have an important relationship with Tokugawa. A number of their employees work here. We could never just shut them out.

Ask About; The pharmacy's location

Where's the pharmacy located?
Through that door there. The two rooms were originally one. It's a little inconvenient, I know. We split this room up, and that's where we put the pharmacy. The window's out in the hall, of course.
You make sure no one steals anything, huh?
Ha ha ha.... I guess you could say that. We're planning on moving it soon since it's been a pain having it like this for so long.

Ask About; Her

So how did Beyond's first teen idol wind up in charge of its biggest hospital?
I quit modeling 20 years ago. My parents were doctors here on Beyond. But then... they were killed in that spaceplane disaster... That's when I inherited this place. I'd gone to medical school, and this was the only thing they left me. I'm always busy with something, whether it's here or somewhere else.

Ask About; Her Job

My main job is running the hospital, but since my area of expertise is organ transplantation, I help out a little with that as well. For instance, I'm a consultant for the Beyond Coast Organ Procurement Network, the Beyond Coast Organ Distribution Network and various other transplant groups. I also work as an intermediary between transplant coordinators, donors and recipients.

Look; Left Picture

It's the cover of a teen magazine from 30 years ago. They've got us and the other Policenauts on the front.
Seeing you guys brings back so many memories.

Examining parts of this picture reveals that Gates was Mr. Popular among the Policenauts, Tokugawa never smiles when he takes his picture, Salvatore's gained some weight since then... and Chris was 14 when this picture was taken. Back when I ROMhacked this game, that seemed a little weird. Now though, with Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez and all that shit? I guess Kojima really was ahead of the times.

Look; Right Picture

(Note: Chris will recross her legs at some point in the conversation. Some idiot named "Silverwings" who did a "review" of Policenauts (that Diabetus and I once Retsupuraed) compared this scene to Basic Instinct. In fact - and I am aware they're sexualizing Chris- it's fairly innocent, and not really anything like that. Just throwing that out there. Fuck you, Silverwings! You know that piece of shit had the nerve to hit us with a copyright complaint too?)

This your kid?
That's... somebody else's baby.
It's not yours?

Look; Baby

He belonged to someone I knew. He's cute alright.

Look; Chris

Look at how young you are.
That was a long time ago.
You seem... a little sad for someone your age.
I was 19, if I remember right.

Look; Purple Bottle

I get it sent to me by a friend on Home. Go ahead and smell it.

Smell; Purple Bottle

Yeah, it does smell like lavender.

So all this is great, but what the hell is Chris holding in her right hand?

What's inside that pouch?
A massquito.

Yeah, it's a micromachine modeled after the mosquito. Little devil's gone haywire. Just does whatever it wants. I finally caught it a minute ago.

Ask About; Organ Transplantation

What are the dangers of organ transplants?
In the past the biggest problem was post-op rejection, but we've overcome that with the development of Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals' immunosuppressant cypusloidine, as well as masked transplants, which don't trigger a rejection reaction.
Masked transplants?
It's a revolutionary procedure that's eliminated rejections in recipients. With it we're able to mask the organ's HLA class I antigens before transplantation.
I'm not too familiar with it, but with its introduction the number of organ transplants has risen dramatically.

Ask About; Artificial Organs

What about using artificial organs?
We're a long way from developing organs that can be used long term, function as a complete replacement for the failed organ, and are small enough to be inserted into the body. We do have machine organs and bio organs, but the only replacements that can currently be classified as complete are artificial bones, teeth and a type of blood used exclusively for transporting oxygen.
You're talking about the artificial blood AP uses.
There are machines that can function as supplementary hearts and kidneys outside the body, but there are problems with internalizing them. The most advanced artificial kidney I can ever see us developing is continuous ambulatory peritoneal dialysis.

Ask About; Radiation

Which organs are affected by cosmic rays?
The ones with rapid cell division rates are affected the most. For instance, bone marrow, lymphatic tissue, the mucosal epithelium of the digestive tract, the reproductive organs... Then come the kidneys, the liver, the lungs, the skin, blood vessels... The effects on sperm and fetuses are the most pronounced.
Yeah, I know about that. You had to avoid conceiving for at least 6 months after returning from space before.
The timeframe's been reduced, but Amphibians still have to be careful with that.

Ask About; Massquitos

It's a mosquito-type robot developed by Tokugawa Heavy Industries and Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals.
It's designed for drawing blood from people and animals and administering shots. With this, you can draw blood without the subject feeling a thing. It can also be used for donating blood They've been hit with a lot of criticism, but these guys are one of the reasons we've been able to keep AIDS and other diseases under control here.
They fly by flapping their wings?
They were designed through biomechanics. I don't know the details.
We saw a hologram of it at Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals.

Suddenly the pouch opens and the massquito escapes! ... If you're genuinely annoyed with all the boob jokes and bouncing in this game... just scroll down to the images of the next guy. I'm sorry.

No! We have to catch it! Watch it doesn't suck your blood!

It lands on the wall.

It landed on the wall, Jonathan. Hurry and grab it! We can't let it escape!
What do I do?

And so begins one of the more embarassing scenes of the game. So you move your cursor toward the massquito but it flies away and-

Don't move, Chris! Stay absolutely still!
Just hurry!

But you go for the massqutio again and-

I like where this is going.
Will you let me try this time?
Forget it. She asked me to do it.
I know you. You're letting it get away on purpose!
Stop wasting time, will you!
Sorry, Chris.

And you go for the leg, but it flies away and lands...

So yeah. Even if you wanna play as a non-pervy, non-gropy Jon Ingram, this one time, you have to.

You gotta be kidding me!
Why don't you let a grown-up handle this?
I was born to do this.
I hate my life.


I love this case.
Well... thank you, Jonathan.
No, thank you, Chris.
Umm... yeah.... I seriously wanna hit you.
You guys make quite a pair. The two of you belong in your own buddy cop movie.
Good thing it didn't get outside.
You're right. Well, you've certainly made my day more interesting.

Move; Pharmacy

Can we take a look at your pharmacy now?
No problem. It's through that door. By the way, Jonathan? You ever considered quitting?
You mean this?
You know I had to say something. I'm a doctor.
You have your perfume, I have this.
You got me there.

...He- he does? What kind of terrible doctor are you?

It's just about my only defense.

And with that, onto the BCCH Pharmacy.

Relax. BCP. The director knows about us.
The police?
You're Mr. Ishida, right? The hospital's pharmacist?

Look; Computer

This is the same thing they had at Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals, isn't it?
Of course. This links the Tokugawa Group via network. It's called the T-Gear99. Everyone in the Group uses it. Only Tokugawa employees can log onto it.


We came to talk to you about a Kenzo Hojo from Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals.
Hojo? Something happen to him?
He's gone missing.
Really.... It has been awhile since I last seen him.
So you do know him.
That's right.

Ask About; Hojo's Personality

What kinda person was Hojo?
I couldn't tell you much about him. We only knew each other through work. He was a traditional Japanese type of guy. Different from Beyonds like me. It's not like him to just disappear.

Ask About; Hojo's Whereabouts

Any idea what might've happened to him?
Not really. He's not the type to take off like that. But a number of the Terrestrials who come here end up going a little screwy and skip out. The rate of mental illness here is several times higher than the bases in Antarctica. I'm a Beyond, so I don't get it. It's been a good while since the last time he was here. I wonder what happened to him.

Ask About; K-9

It's Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals' newest DDS, a capsule that's distributed evenly throughout the body even in weightlessness.
How does it work?
It uses the difference in osmotic pressure between areas of the body to control the release of a drug. Gravity doesn't play a factor at all. Hojo was bringing samples of it over.
I wonder if that's what I got from Lorraine.
Is it that big a development?
Yep. Well, something that uses osmotic pressure isn't that new, but the one in K-9 is by far the most effective.

Ask About; The last time they met

When was the last time you saw Hojo?
Lemme think... It was the last K-9 delivery, so that would've been the 15th.
Delivery? I thought K-9 wasn't on the market yet?

...Jonathan, are you paying attention? Saito went over this!

They're only samples for data gathering.

Ask About; The 15th

What happened that day?
Well, he brought over the three sets of K-9, then -
Wait, three sets? His whiteboard at Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals said 100 sets.
That's ridiculous. They're only samples. What would we do with all those? Give 'em out to people left and right? K-9's not even on the market yet.
Point taken. So we've got 97 unaccounted for. Anything unusual about him?
Actually, he did seem a little edgy. He was always so professional, but he was more emotional that day. Said he was going to meet with President Tokugawa after he left. That's what he told me, anyway.

Ask About; Tokugawa

President Tokugawa? Good old Sadaoki.
Regular Joes like me see him maybe once in a blue moon. But Hojo was different. He got invited to eat with the president pretty regularly. The president prefers to associate with other Japanese.
Same racist fuck.
Yeah, he's always been like that, big-time.
The president might be able to tell you more about him.

Yeah, we learned that Tokugawa only eats with other Japanese, and not the likes of Jun Ishida! ...

Ask About; Tokugawa's Whereabouts

Where would we find Sadaoki?
The president will be at the Tokugawa Building. It's the massive pillar in the middle of the colony. We all call it the "Prop". That's where he spends most of his time.
Yeah, everybody here knows it. One of Beyond's biggest landmarks.
Time for some sightseeing.

I think that's enough for now.

Move; Exit

Thanks for your time.
See you.

Thanks for your time, doctor.
See ya!

I think that concludes our time at BCCH. Coming up, we try (and fail) to meet the fourth Policenaut, Joseph Sadaoki Tokugawa - and in his stead, go visit Hojo's daughter.

Hey, who is that guy in the red hood thing?

Look; Man with Red Hood

Check out that Chinese-looking dude.
He's got a hand towel tied around his head. A lot of them do that to keep warm. Why would anyone in their right mind be doing that here?

Talk; Man

You wanna talk to him? I don't like this... Hey, you with the towel.

Hooray for our millionth Snatcher reference of the game! It's Napoleon, on Beyond Coast! Before I'd played, I'd known Napoleon was in the game, but I was hoping it was in some capacity... well, larger than this. Not that I was a Napoleon fan but I was willing to take whatever scraps I could get in lieu of a Snatcher sequel.

Lemme guess - friendly neighborhood law enforcement, am I right? I could pick you out from the other side of the cylinder with those outfits.
Well, my associate is. ...Man, do I really look that bad?
Name's Napoleon. I'm an informant on Home. Nice to meet ya.
You won't get much business from me. I don't use informants.
- aaa... aaa... aaa... achoo! - Eh, technically I'm on vacation anyway. I came here to see if they can do something about this SNOW-9 allergy of mine. But look at me, -aaaaachoo!-. Damned thing's gotten worse. This place is a joke! -achoo!- "Space's California" my ass.
Riiight, well, good luck with your... whatever's wrong with you.

What in God's name did you do to your hair, Gillian?
Gillian! It's me! Napoleon! Don't tell me you lost your memory again?
Look, I don't know what your deal is, but you got the wrong guy, pal. My name's not... Gilligan or whatever.
Strange.... Your face. You guys could be twins.
Leave him alone, Jonathan.