The Let's Play Archive


by slowbeef

Part 34: Drive

When we last saw our intrepid heroes, they'd killed a Policenaut, Salvatore Toscanini, uncovered a horrible conspiracy to trade drugs for organs, and were planning on hitching a ride off the Moon and back to Beyond via the Mass Driver.

Exciting! So let's go to it.

Control is returned to Jonathan, and if there was any damage to his spacesuit from the gunfight, well, it doesn't affect anything and is not mentioned.

Look; Salvatore

He's dead.
The irony is he'll probably be the next one they put in here.


Huh. Something seems different here...

Look out! The cockpits are shut!

Welcome to my contender for the hardest shooting sequence in the game, and probably the second time you're actually in real danger of Game Over (counting the bomb). The Oberths hit hard, and continuously, so your health starts full and pretty much drains from this point out. It gets worse.

Very strangely, lock-on does not lock onto the Oberth's weak point: its gold faceplate. It locks onto the crotch. If you're using the controller, lock-on and then adjust upwards and hit the faceplate fast.

Unfortunately, when you do shoot, there's a lot of graphical fanfare - the screen flashes and there's a big translucent sprite to signify you're hitting something.

The shitty thing is that, as you can see in this screenshot, it's pretty subtle when you put the Oberth out of commission. So you have to pay attention to its guns, and when it stops shooting, lock onto the other, adjust up and kill that one.

Even knowing about this, you can see how close I came to biting it.

Thus far.

Unfortunately if the tour was anything to go by, we have forty other guys who are probably out looking for us, so let's keep on.

Move; Information Center

(It's the only place we have an option to go to, besides the No. 7 Factory.)

Ed, weren't you paying attention? It's the giant ramp. Salvatore even talked about it.

Look; Mass Driver

There she is. That's our ticket out of here.

Jonathan has no objections. Yet.

Time to head outside again.
Alright, let's go!
We gotta be quick. It's one-sixth the gravity. Lean forward and take little steps.
C'mon, we were both Policenauts. It'll be easier than Mars' gravity, anyway.

Welcome to the Mass Driver. Now we're gonna learn why this is a really bad idea.

Here we are. The mass driver launches payloads at mass catchers across space at speeds around Mach 7.
Did you say "Mach"?!
Once it reaches that speed, the payload separates from its bucket and is released at a force near 100 Gs.
100 Gs?! We'll be flat as A cups!
Relax, they're anti-shock pods. They protect all their organs and biomorts, remember? We'll be fine. Probably.
This takes care of our coffins.
Just go to sleep and we'll be there before you know it.
Really, Ed? Nice to see you're suddenly so optimistic. I've had claustrophobia since my accident.
Look at it as an opportunity to get over it.

If you haven't been noticing, I feel like this is about Ed's turning point in the game. He starts off as a guy who's getting cut off by Gates, talking about how bad his mortgage is and he reluctantly helps Jonathan...

Now, he's talking about riding a payload at Mach-fucking-seven and Jonathan's the one who's surprised. It's a subtle enough progression that it even feels a little natural. I'm almost willing to forgive Kojima for Raiden after that. Almost.

Look; Giant Ramp

That's the guideway, the mass driver's acceleration rail.
What's controlling everything?
Probably that building over there. Let's go check it out.

Look; Left Structure

That's the mass driver's control tower. We can get in one of the pods from there.

This unlocks a new option, which we're gonna take.

Get in pod

Uh oh. NOW Jonathan's cosmophobia rears its head.

Jonathan, there is NO other way out of here! You're just gonna have to deal with it!


Get in pod (again)

You go on without me. I'll stay here.
Jonathan, there is NO other way out of here! You're just gonna have to deal with it!

You actually have to look at the stairs and the building one more time to trigger the next scene. Out of nowhere:

Hey, why not watch the rest of the update in video?

What's it doing here? I thought only BCP has them?
Tokugawa must have their own unit.
Dammit! You'll need to hold me down!
You can do it, Jonathan!

Oh no, not a Goddard! !!! ...Eh. This is the EMPS typically used by BCP. Jonathan's health is refilled for this fight, but the Goddard is way more maneuverable than the Oberths, so you have a lot more wild shooting to do. Lock-on doesn't track a moving target well, and the Goddard moves frequently, so follow him with your cursor and keep firing.

It hits much less hard than the Oberths, fortunately. You can see my life bar's not bad at all. Unfortunately, for the rest of the Act, we're not getting any health refills.

Jonathan! Reinforcements!

Shit, two Goddards?! How are two easily vulnerable astronaut-suit wearing cops expected to fight off a couple of mechs?????

Well, look, it's a game emulating an 80's action movie, so assume Jonathan and Ed are taking cover and the bad guys have bad aim and we're all good, aren't we?


Okay, so remember, I was complimenting Kojima on Ed's character progression? Well... here's about where I take it back. This is the last we hear of Jonathan's cosmophobia: An optional thing. If we don't get in the pod...

Don't get in pod

I'll... I'll stay here.
Quit being a fucking bitch!
I'M the bitch? Just you go!
Goddman fucking son of a bitch! Shoot!

And you fight two more Goddards. And this repeats with Ed refusing to leave without Jonathan, and Jonathan refusing to leave until you the player kill more Goddards and say:

Get in pod

You're sure about this, right?

Too late now! See you at L2 if we make it!

And Jonathan screams as the pod is launched away from the Moon and back to Beyond.

And so ends Act 5.

(In a later interview, Kojima admits that the amount of G-force from the mass driver probably would've killed Jonathan and Ed.)