Part 6: Savage Liz
6. The Savage Liz.
Once again, some requests just got omitted due to my failure to remember and manage time properly.
Is it that time of year again?
What time of year?
Where I've to pay attention to what Lizzie's up to.
Sir, that's every month.
Ugh. Well how's she doing then?
She's pretty accurate in combat, but her deadliness is limited by her strength. She cant take a hit, and her brain is still squishy so she's a bit too short on mana to use magic effectively. Oh, and she's got absolutely no conversation skills whatsoever, sir.
Lumberjacking will inexplicably fix all of those shortcomings, right?
Barring one, no, sir.
Blasphemer! Dare you doubt a daughter of the heavens?!
It'll make a man out of you!
Yooouuuuu diiid thiiiis to meeeeeeeeee!
Holy fuck! Quickly, Cube! To the salon!
It's not a job for a girl with no sense of artistHOLYMOTHEROFGODpleasedonthurtme!
Lizzie brutalizes the customers, though her muscles quickly atrophy from exposure to a bad batch of toxic conditioner and cooties.
I-is she gone yet?
Lizzie's left pretty distressed by the whole ordeal and blows off some steam in town after lifting Gendo's wallet.
? What? Oh son of a bitch, she did!
July, and for inexplicable reasons, Gendo has signed up Lizzie for Theology and Poetry classes that he can barely afford, and arranged for a little trip to see the nice folk at Pedo Lake to pay off his debts from schooling.
I'm Gendo from the house by the bridge.
I'm Lizzie from the basement of the house by the bridge.
So what have you learned today?
That God doesnt really give a rat's ass that I sold a fraction of my soul to the Devil. As long I promise Him what's left, he'll protect me from all sorts of bad shit.
Oh god you're back.
Riiiight into... the danger zone...
Get the fuck out of my class.
Riiiight into... the danger zooooooooone!
Stupid puny monsters, why wont you leave Liz alone?!
Lizzie, what is best in life?
To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Oh, and coercing imaginary creatures to give you more cooking skill!
Wrong, wrong, wrong! It's all about the loot!
S-sir! I dont really think this is appropriate for the young mistress!
Relax. What's the worse that could happen? That she'll put her immortal soul in jeapordy?
Cube, shouldnt you be bringing Liz's sorry ass back here right about now?
Uhm, she actually made it back home unhurt today sir.
Well I'll be damned...
Hey, quit reading the spoilers!
The Shinkicker household celebrates by selling the jewels and rolling around in the mountains of cash.
It's August, and Gendo enrols Lizzie into Art classes by mistake!
(Really, I was hoping that she'd finish a painting before the festival, ah well.)
Look, I know you're really set on earning that Art Degree, but that's not going to get you a real job!
Just go back to your grey boring life you dried up prune!
Look, at least sit in on some of the other classes okay?
I take it all back! They let you use flails in the class debates! This is the best school ever!
(Lizzie ended up switching into the Diploma of Applied Pyromancy.)
Well that was fast. What's next for your charming little girl, sir?
She could spend more time deforesting the world.
And building up her endurance. By... feeding ponies.
I'm thinking she's really enjoying this too much.
Also, Harvest Festival.
Go! And return with honor, or do not return at all.
God Dad, you're such a drama queen.
who's Francoise More?
Some horrible stuck up bitch I'd imagine, mistress.
Hey! That's not nice.
Oh you cow!
I'll teach you to turn your back to me!
I say! Violating your opponent's posterior with a splinter covered log simply isn't very sporting.
You're lucky I dont ruin your face!
The most rewarding part is the money.
What the hell is a Damu-Damu?
That... I think.
Oh my god. What's wrong with your face?!
The fight goes slowly. Liz can barely scratch Damu-damu's thick hide...
Damu-damu cant land any blows on Lizzie...
And Magic just makes him giggle.
Eventually the crowd gets bored and the General is forced to step in.
I could have had him if we'd had the rest of the day! And maybe a bit of tomorrow too!
I was cheateds!
And that brings us up to the end of October! Next update: November! and December!