Part 7: Drinks with the Devil
7. Ever drink with the Devil in the pale moonlight?
Time to whip that unused brain of yours into shape. With SCIENCE!
Mysticism is the product of ignorance. Miracles and sorcery are nothing more than scientific phenomena. It is just that right now we lack the knowledge to explain their principles.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, right?
Wow, I'll have to steal that one.
Two weeks of hard science should help hone her intellect.
And a side order of Poetry!
December already? A little logging should help.
But it's the middle of winter!
It'll build character.
And a little adventuring to blow off steam.
Outta my way, losers!
Dark Side points gained!
Back already? Did you have a good trip?
I'm sure they're more afraid of you than you are of them. Wait... sorry, I was thinking of bears.
I've also scheduled you to study magic non-stop for the next 31 days.
Awesome! I love setting things on fire!
January also means that the prince is in town once again.
Hi Liz, what have you been doing with yourself this last year?
I made a pact with the devil and enlarged my collection of severed scrotums.
Uuuuh, th-that's nice...
So why's nothing been scheduled for this month anyway?
Ah, sir, we have a grand total of 31 gold. 30 of which will go to feeding Lizzie.
Oh shit, are we broke again? Lizzie! Pack your bags, we're skipping town!
Loathe as I am to suggest it, sir, why dont you have Lizzie work on treasure and bounty hunting?
Lizzie heads off to the mountains...
...and her bodycount rises!
And she picks up neat loot as well!
Cube, did we pack that light gun or not?
Hey, you didnt rip me off this time! What gives?
It was a mistake!
Neat. Oh, and I think there was some unfinished business I need to take care of.
Hahahahaa, I'd like to see you try!
How can I have been beaten by a human girl... Oouuh.
You seem kind of weak for a dragon. How old are you, anyway?
What! You're younger than me?! I thought dragons were all hundreds of years old!
Hrmf... loud-mouthed wench! There are young dragons, you know.
Well! You have a lot of nerve! I've beaten you, now get out of my way!
Well, that turned out to be quite profitable really.
I hope that'll teach you to manage your funds a little more responsibly, sir.
It sure did. Oh, and schedule Lizzie for another full month of magic classes.
Yes, who is it? Oh! It's you!?
Yup. How are you? It's me, M-E ! The world's GREATEST sorceress, Fay!
...(She just has to play it up, doesnt she?)
Oh, do you two know each other?
Lizzie, I'm very happy that you have been studying magic with such enthusiasm. As a reward, I'm going to raise whichever one of your magic abilities you want me to!
You want me to raise your magic attack?
That's what I said!
What the hell's going on in here? Wh... Oh. My. God.
Well, bye now. Dont forget to practice!
Cube, I think all this power is going to her head. Give her a spanking will you?
Nice try, sir, but I'll have to politely decline. She'll probably implode my head, set me on fire or something equally horrible.
Sir, if you'd at least take a few courses in financial management, perhaps we'd be able to avoid having to rely on your 11-year old daughter for all our income.
That sounds suspiciously like an attempt to make me a little less irresponsible.
*sigh* Very well sir. She's off go get more "lewt".
I think I've seen this in a movie once...
Well... in you go!
Dad, you bastaaaaaaaaard!
What'll I do? What'll I do?! Oh yeah... stab it repeatedly until it dies.
Did you want to make something of it?
If it's all the same to you, I'd rather just scamper away like a scared child.
Hiya again Lucy.
Please don't call me that in front of my employees.
Forget it. Here, have a drink.
Oh my gosh, the Devil's gotten my daughter into underaged drinking!
What have you done to my daughter, foul hell-spawn?!
SHE'S PLAYING WITH DOLLS! Curse you Lucifon! CUUUUURSE YOUUUU!
Let's sing a song!
What? Why? Oh. Oh no...
"Happy Birthday to Lizzie, GET BIGGER!"
Uh, well, I guess I'll go see who's knocking at the door then...
Oh, my, this is...
Hello, is this Lizzie's house?
Uh, hello. Who are you?
You don't remember? A year ago, I was an egg. You returned me to my mother.
Of course! The Spirit of the Spring! How nice! Look how big you've gotten!
We remain children for one year after we are born. While we are children, we have wings. When we become adults, we shed our wings and then must guard the spring for a hundred years.
We didn't ask for your complete reproductive and maturation cycle there...
What about your mother?
My mother will die soon. I will become an adult and take her place.
Really... You have to be seperated from your mother, only a year after being born. It's so sad.
It... it's just a speck of dust in my eye. (If you tell anyone I'll kill you)
I'm not sad or anything. That's just our rule. I came here today to reward you. Thank you very much for returning me to my mother. I will make your heart even more beautiful. Abra Kadabra, hocus pocus!
Hey, that's the spell that the Devil used on..
There is a blinding flash of light. When Lizzie comes to her senses, the spirit is gone.
Oh! Wow! She left some money!
This is sweet. So very sweet.
Lizzie's sensitivity went up 100 points too!
Though I like the other one where she gets to strangle small furry animals.
Phew. Took a lot longer than usual to get that one done. Next update will take us all the way to the Harvest Festival!