The Let's Play Archive

Protostar: War on the Frontier

by Samovar

Part 6: To quote A. Schwarzenegger: You are one, ugly, motherfucker

Going from the most voted names that can fit with the naming scheme, the beasts of Boobolla are called Punkbeast, Arachnot (since that fitted and incorporated in the fact that it isn't an arachnid) and my personal favourite, the Flatypuss. We return to Garriod to drop off our goods, give news to Dr. Hawking...

Hmm? What's this?

: This is a private channel!

: Take it easy, now.

: I was given your account by some fellow named Hawking. He passed me a tip through Newfront.

: Give me more details.

: I completed my internship at this Outpost nearly a month ago, but I've been unable to return to Gaea sector because of this situation with the Skeetch.

: So, now you have loads of free time...

: ...and not much to do. In short, I've been looking for a ride out of here. Hawking suggested that you might be able to help me.

: Well, I'm no a taxi service, boyo. I need a good Biotech officer.

: Then it's settled, I'll transfer to your vessel immediately, Commander Samovar.

And with that, we've now received our fourth crew-member for Biotech. Without even trying! Now, I'm no employer, but I was under the impression that searching for labour is just a BIT more tough than this.

Calling up Hawking doesn't give you a chance to confirm Lindquist at all, he just goes through the regular rigmarole of 'Thanks for discovering a whole range of new and unidentified species to Human science; more money plz.'

As for announcements...

Dang yo! Still, it is almost impossible to discover every single thing yourself before the computer does it. I was concentrating on the animals since they are a bit more engaging than the planets - so that's my excuse.

WHAT?! Oh this is bullshit! I was JUST about to get to that location and discover it first! grumblegrumblegrumblegrumble.

In case it wasn't pretty obvious, this game isn't forgiving about what it finds first. With that in mind, let's get to 030,045 before ANYTHING else is discovered!

As it so happens, 030,045 is the next place we were going to head to anyway, to check out the last, peaceful, alien species in this place. Vamanos!

This star system is pretty sparse all round; just the planets and Hive IV and Nehrad. So where the hell are Hives I through III?

Hmm. Scarce materials? That's unusual for homeworld planets; they're usually chock-a-block with resources. Oh well, I'm sure that won't be relevant in any way whatsoever!

Well hello there! Nice landing craft you've got there! Let's have a closer look...

Well, enough's enough, let's give these guys a call and see what's up wi-


: Uhh-uhmm, I-ah, hmm.

: It's.. an.. uh, it's an...

: It's an honour for me to be in your presence.

: Statement acknowledged.

So... uh... let's uh... talk? Why don't we?

: So... can you... tell me about yourself at all?

: Drone is Ghebraant.

: ...

: ...

: ...

: ...

: Oh... it's gonna be like THIS, then...

Yep, in case the Biotech briefing didn't clue you in enough, the Ghebraant are pretty much like this, all of the time. At least their brusqueness is not due to arrogant condescension, I suppose...

: Well, if Drone is Ghebraant, then what is Ghebraant?

: Discussion concluded. Contact terminated



Yeah. These guys are gonna be a hoot to work with. Still, there's a bit more we can do on this cockroach hotel of a planet...

You may have noted in those shots that there are very few minerals for us to harvest on this planet. Yes, Hive IV is one of the most desolate places to go in this sector for mining. It's really incredibly tedious to visit. And hard to make a good impression.

Well, the first thing you can always do to make the aliens happier with you is to sell/buy things at a loss. So, without any further ado, let's get to the nearest city and mingle with the locals!

I've made a huge mistake.

Well, these guys may not have much in the way of personality, but at least their music isn't half-bad, at the very least.

I think it is plainly clear that these guys don't feel any way in particular about compliments, so let's just be plain candid with them.

: I want to purchase.

Something I neglected to mention; that in addition to surface materials, you can also buy species-specific manufactured goods. Of course, the only reason you'd do that would be to get on their good side. So... let's go for the... Praseodymium. Whatever the hell that could be.

Anyway, enough of this Kabuki theatre; let's get to the meat and potatoes.

: I was hoping we could talk.

: Statement acknowledged.

:Yeah, THAT'S not going to get tedious any time soon.

: So... how about your local... governance?

Competition is stopped.

: What's the deal with yer home planet? There's barely any raw materials present on the surface.

: Homeworld is depleted. Discussion concluded.

: Jesus Christ, who the fuck gave you yer education on communication skills? Calvin Coolidge?

: Fine, We'll talk later, but first, I best be to shiftin' myself. Haven't quite strip-mined your homeworld ye-. oh. Oh wait, nevermind.

Yep, to get these guys to like you, you have to (if memory serves) to sell them a whole bunch of raw goods cheap, because they managed to turn their planet into a barren wasteland. Stupid aliens. Don't they realise that's MY job?

Anyway, it is time to get outta this place. My skin is crawling and I need to relax somehow. Before we go looking for some more resources, let's see how our crew is! Ask them a bit about themselves, etc. etc., Cassi first, I think

: Word, yo

: This is Cassi; can I help you, sir?

: I was just wanting a bit of background info, as it were. You were in Newfront - what do you hafta say about it?

: Newfront offers the best opportunities for Humans in this region of the frontier. Of all the outlying corporations, I believe ours will most likely support Gaea sector.

: I'm ready when they are!

: are aware that Newfront is a corporation, right? They're no a bleedin' Gurkha brigade, mate - they're profiteers. That humanity's major line of defence in the face of an alien hegemony is DeBeers in space is not reflecting well on our species as a whole, ken?

: That's what Lenin said about Israel Gelfand, Sir.

: ...That he was DeBeers in space?

: Profiteer, Sir.

: Fair enough. However, forgive me if I don;t think that Newfront will establish full Communism now. What about the Skeetch?

: Those demons killed my crew mates... my friends!

: And now their fleet is sieging Human space! I won't rest until we drive them back into the pit they crawled out of!

: ... seiging?

: Well, besides from a poor command of English, tell me a bit about yourself.

: I was raised at a settlement on the outskirts of Gaea sector.

: So I joined Newfront in search of fortunes here on the frontier.

Just took this one to demonstrate I'm not making these dialogue mistakes by myself.

: The Skeetch now threaten to destroy all that I have. I've seen my friends here in Thule die at their hands...

: ...and the fates only know of what's become of my family!

: Fair enough, big yin; I'll leave you in peace. Try not to start dressing up as a bat or wear skull-shirts by the time I get back in touch, please.

: Thank you for your time.

Yikkak next! Let's see what he looks like on-screen instead of in F.C., eh?

: How can I help ya, Samovar?

: I was hoping we could talk.

: Whatever ya say, boss.

: Do you have any particular insight into the Kaynik and Kaynik anarchy?

: Most o' my species follow traditional methods of operation.

: These 'r based on seizin resources from others.

: We should be okay so long as we give 'em what they want.

: Can you blame them? Have y'seen how tedious it is to mine stuff in this bloody sector? Whit about the 'government' for lack of a better word?

: My species have been without a formal government for generations. Most Kaynik owe allegiance ta one o' tha faction leaders.

: These rival factions compete fer resources 'n territory.

: LIBERTARIANS! Well, at least yer not suggesting that dog-eat-dog is the better form of governance. Whit about yersel'?

: I didn't see much future in joinin one o' the factions, so I applied myself ta learnin new skills at Frontier Craft.

: It's safe ta conclude that persistence really does pay off.

:Whatever y'say, Robert the Bruce.

Lindquist next, I think, then we'll go off for a bit more exploration, I think.

: It's my pleasure to be speaking with you.

: Aw... I'm all embarrassed.

: ...

: ...

: Please don't say that to me ever again.

Wow, you don't really have much to say, do you? Tell me about yerself.

: I was raised in our home system, on Venus Platform Two. It's one of the orbital cities reserved for distinguished citizens.

: I eventually attended a prominent Biotech University on Earth.

: My research here is completed, and... well, the rest is history.

: Y'mentioned research. In what specific field?

: My sponsor hope to develop artificial sentience. There are lifeforms in Thule with attributes essential to their experiments.

: The Skeetch are preventing me from returning with the results of my research. The rest is confidential, Commander.

: Welp, just never go to Engineering while yer on this ship, then. What about the HDC? You annoyed at them at all for failing at letting you get back to publish yer results?

: The Human Defence Coalition is an impartial force funded by a corporate pool.

: Many find it's the only way they can afford to remain in the Gaea sector.

: All HDC troops have withdrawn to defend critical positions from the Skeetch.

Hmm. Is this really a Human coalition we want to be saving?

Anyway, let's see if we can't find a new system. One with stuff we can mine and give to the Ghebraant - hopefully win them over. Why not some place like...



And here we have the big bads of the game, the Skeetch. I fucking hate these guys, and you should too. Their armaments are always Level III, as well as their defences, they launch pursuit pods of their own which you can only avoid by travelling in a straight line AWAY from said pods , allowing them to catch up and blast you because...


...wait for it...


...they have Level IV engines. Which we can NEVER get, because once you kill all crew on a Skeetch vessel, their ships auto-destruct.

I HATE these guys. But for the sake of the thread, I'mma gonna show you what it is like to fight these guys. But before I do...

Well; here goes nothing...


That was considerably more hair-raising then it needed to be. Oh yeah, also remember to de-activate the tactical systems. Everyone will count it as an act of aggression if you apporach them with them on.

Now that we can take a deep breath in and not have to worry about being literally vaporized, we can take a little look around this sector...

Planet number 4 is of interest to us; namely because it is:

Nice! Let's do a wee subjective scan...

After the subjective scan, we get the following screen:

Of course, this I'll put up to thread voting, but I'll tell you the remaining planet names, in case you want to keep it in the sector's aesthetic.

The remaining planets are (out-going-in):




Something intrigues me about Tridderak... Looked surprisingly... green and blue. And in a GOOD way...


Yeah, we can pick up some new life-forms here, since we lost a chance to name one at Hive IV, I figure the sooner we can get these found, the better.

With these three guys under our belt, I think we can get started on naming these new life-forms, what do you say?

First up, the three from Hive IV:

: and tactile senses... pushes body with two strong legs... webbed membrane traps substance... digestive fluids absorbed through brain case... asexually produces offspring after terminal mummification.

you are a very strange animal.

: ...tactile and taste senses... driven across terrain by high winds... protected by shell cage... amorphous body gropes in any direction... infrequent asexual production of single egg husk.

: ...electrostatic and audio senses... tail anchors to rocks in high winds... six breast hooks for gripping victim... piercing mouth daggers... infrequent mating between sexes produces twin eggs that are sheltered in rock nest.

Someone put up that flying scorpion comic

And finally, the three from this planet:

: ...visual and olfactory senses... bright collar emits odours to attract prey... tail pincers used as anchors... asexual reproduction through separation of segmented body.

OK, a cross between a tapeworm, a centipede and a snake. Thank God it only lives for 4 years.

: ...primary senses are visual and taste... collects nourishment with elongated tongue... suspends by tail when resting... frequent mating between sexes produces small litters of offspring.

Oh my gorsh, that's a cute beastie

: ...primary sense is visual... clawed forelimbs for land travel and defence... protected by scaly hide... colourful dorsal fin for swimming and to show disposition... annual mating between sexes produces few offspring.

Amphibian reptiloid.

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

So; what shall we name that planet and these five creatures?