Part 4: Session 2.5: Robbing the Dead, Attempt #1: FAILURE
Session 2.5: Robbing the Dead, Attempt #1: FAILURE
As you stumble through the second door because no one bought a lamp, a golem appears and attacks you!
If you’re wondering why I had Joxer wait, I can explain with how the game works. First, initiative is rolled separately each round, so different people can end up going first. Second, parry attempts to block the first incoming attack in each round. Third, parry makes you face the person who attacked you first. Fourth, the AI almost always attacks the character directly in front of it. So if the lightweight glass cannon goes first in the round, he just might want to guard that turn instead.
That guy takes forever to kill.
How come you didn’t Paralyze it, Lewis?
I didn’t have to. He only hit you guys twice or so.
So what’s in here?
You can see three different containers full of bodies, in various states of decomposition.
What’s in the one on the right?
These dead were covered in bandages before they were buried.
Yep. In fact, they seem to hear you say that, and the mummies start to move and attack.
Alright, so this is the combat where you can see the little red squares that indicate where you can stand.
Ow, Belle Fleur took a beating. Do we need equipment to use Treat Wounds?
Oh yeah, I took that, didn’t I? Let me roll for it. *Roll* Hey, a natural 20! Sweet, you are super healed now.
Actually, high numbers are really, really bad in DSA. You want to roll under your skill level.
So what’s a 20 mean?
Son of a bitch! Sorry, William, I didn’t mean you.
Okay, who votes that I do all the wound treating from here on out?
Couldn’t I use that anti-disease potion?
It’s only tetanus. We should wait and get the right herbs; it’ll be cheaper in the long run.
Okay, that’s…er…Kurzmann and Joxer healed for 12 each. You want me to try with you…Belle?
Um, no thanks. I’ll just drink the healing potion if that’s alright with everyone.
Is everyone’s sheet updated? Then let’s move on. Did you want to check the other corpses?
Can we check the left side?
Hang on, he didn’t ask permission last time. Let’s do it.
Sure enough, these corpses don’t get up and try and kill you. Who wants to dig around?
I’ll do it; I’ve already got tetanus.
Wrinkling your nose, you take a few careful steps closer to the bodies. Suddenly, you recognize one of the corpses!
It’s the Servant of Boron from the graveyard above.
How’d he die off so fast? Is there another way in here?
I think he was dead to begin with, Hal.
Oh, the old switcheroo. We should probably kill the imposter.
Yeah, but later. We’re not done looting here yet.
Did you want to check the center pile? It’s just bones…
I think we’re done here. Can we go and find the next door?
Do you know what time it is?
Time for a golem attack.
Basically a repeat of the second video, but left in for completeness’ sake. Don’t bother watching if you got enough from the first golem combat.
Well, that was boring. So what was hidden in here?
More piles of corpses, same three-bin deal. Will you be trying again?
I search the right one!
Stop, damn it!
But I want experience!
Things could have gone better, but since they still at least won, I kept the result.
Hey, at least I cast spells this time.
Two characters unconscious and one dead. I think we’re done here.
Yeah, I can’t do too much with five hit points. Can we get out of here?
Well, you fumble about in the dark for a few minutes because no one bought a lantern, but yeah, you get out without seeing anything.
You sure you don’t want to go deal with the gravedigger?
Not with half the party, no.
So how does resurrection work in this system? Or am I completely screwed?
You pray to a god and hope he’ll raise you from the dead. Not very likely, but (assuming Bob doesn’t penalize us for pestering the gods) we should be able to do it in time.
Great, let’s go ask the Faerun guy.
Whatever. I’m dead, damnit!
Shit, keep rolling, guys.
Oh yes, now I remember; we should probably go to the Goddess of Life's temple to get a resurrection. She's the only one who gives even halfway decent odds without any contributions. Man, it has been a while.
Then let’s go to her temple.
Alright, you should be able to get directions to her temple without much trouble. Let me just roll on the random encounter chart here…*roll* Oh. Heh, heh. Oh my.
Oh, come on! You made that one up just for me, didn’t you?
You want to read it? It’s right here in the module. Anyway, the puke on your shirt lowers your Charisma by…3 points.
What?! Aw…well, at least it’s a dump stat. (Stupid daylight allergies.)
Don’t worry, it’ll go away after a day or so. Anyway, the other dwarf doesn’t seem to know what really hit him just then. He’s standing propped up against the nearest wall with a vacant look in his eyes until his companions pull him onward.
Can I go kill him now?
You’re still nearly unconscious, remember? Besides, we’ve got better things to worry about. Like finding Tsa’s temple.
Right. You cross the bridge, when suddenly…
I try to talk to one.
It takes some effort, but you finally get a conversation going with someone from the smaller of the two factions. “Idiocy! Madness!” the guy shouts. “The seeress could have helped him just as well, but no, they have to carry him all the way across town.” A woman on the other side shouts, “Quenya may know a lot of things we shall never learn, but the dwarf will get much better care from the herbalist, that much is certain!”
What was that?
Some dwarf got wounded, and they’re arguing over which healer to bring him to. Is there anyone who looks like he’s in charge?
There’s a large Thorwalian in the middle of the crowd who looks pretty warrior-like. In fact, you hear him shout, “The dwarven mine has been attacked by the orcs! Stupid prem-flounder faces with their ridiculous argument about who’s the better healer! We’ll form a posse and show those mangy blackpelts!” Some of the people in his vicinity are applauding loudly. “We’ll overrun those ugly vermin like the avalanche overran the mine years ago!”
The big guy in the middle wants to kill a bunch of orcs who took over a dwarven mine.
A dwarven mine? Must not have been that good to get beaten by orcs. Can we go there next?
We’re not done with the graveyard, though.
And I’m still kind of dead.
Well, you don’t get much chance to choose, since the mob is carrying you with it. They first eventually reach the herbalist’s house. The woman seems to know her business: the first thing she does is chase everybody out who isn’t needed. Then, led by the Thorwalian, the crowd marches on the market square, shouting vicious taunts against the orcs. Mind you, the closer you get to the square, the softer those shouts grow. When you finally reach your destination, you look behind you in amazement. There’s no sign of a posse. In fact, you see neither hide nor hair of the mob! The Thorwalian is the only one of them who actually made it all the way here, but seeing the others have abandoned him, he decides to attack some stout instead. He disappears inside the nearest tavern.
That was cool. I like that guy. Can we go meet him sometime?
Can we get back to raising me now?
So where are we? The main square?
Yep, the marketplace barn is just behind you.
We leave and head towards Tsa’s temple.
STOP DOING THAT.
Sorry, but you keep walking past all the places where these things happen. I’m just going by the module here.
At least his little old lady voice isn’t nearly as creepy.
I’ll give her some food.
As you’re fumbling through your pack, the beggar woman continues. “Even just a small coin, for old Lea?”
I keep searching?
You find some food and give it to her. “Most people don’t give me anything, because they think old Lea doesn’t notice anyway. They think old Lea’s too stupid to know,” the old woman babbles on. She gives you the impression of senility, but William?
You notice that her eyes are moving around constantly, taking in everything that goes on around her.
She’s a spy or something, isn’t she?
Can I give her a coin, too?
When you put the coin into the old woman’s hand, she quickly hides the gift. “Ooh! Many thanks, noble gentlefolk!” she shrieks, and then performs a deep curtsy, lifting the hem of her skirt with outstretched arms and bending dangerously close to the ground. “Hah hah! Old Lea isn’t stupid, oh no—she sees everything, hears everything, and remembers everything!” She taps her forehead with one finger, like this.
You mean like this?
Don’t do that. It’s bad enough Bob keeps acting this stuff out.
“Have you come from afar, then, noble gentlefolk?”
“Yes.” Can I tell her my backstory?
Sure. In fact, you all can.
I’ll do that.
Sounds like fun.
Might as well.
William, how about you?
I would, but then, I’M DEAD. Not that anyone seems to care.
“Hah hah! You are widely traveled, then, noble gentlefolk! Have you ever seen the elven king dance in the pale moonlight?” William?
What? Sure, I saw him dance around a campfire or something.
Without paying any further notice to your words, Old Lea moves away, still caught in a strange trance and apparently unable to perceive mundane reality. You watch the beggaress until she’s well out of sight.
Great. Now can we PLEASE resurrect me?
You eventually reach the front gate, where you can see Tsa’s temple.
Finally. We go in.
Inside you see…wait, that’s not right…oh, my mistake.
That’s actually the temple of Rahja, goddess of lust, wine, and inebriation.
Oh, I am definitely coming back here later.
Yeah, Tsa’s temple is actually the one just across from it.
Sweet! Now pray, guys, pray like the wind!
As you can see, Tsa also restores hit points.
I am healed!
Unfortunately, it’s dark by the time you leave the temple. Unfortunate, because there aren’t many lamps out and no one bought a goddamn lantern.
Do you really want us to fumble through the dark until we find an inn?
Good point. You…find one. Easily.
(backup). This plays in all taverns.
That doesn’t sound like a synth trumpet.
Is that someone making trumpet noises with their mouth?
I think so. So, you guys buy a cheap room, then?
Yeah. We should probably get going, too; it’s pretty late.
You know, I got him resurrected, but I’m not sure I want to keep this character.
Yeah, no kidding.
Look at our character sheets; my guy basically does everything yours does, but better.
Yeah, but anyone can do that. I wonder who I should roll up next…