Part 40: Episode XL: The American Way

When last we left our heroine...she died quite the hilarious death. But, for the sake of narrative...

We'll assume that Carlos didn't fold his arms and nod his head as the Nemesis smashed through the door and killed Jill by using her as a human hammer.

Now then, armed with a vial of purple stuff (sorry, no Sunny D at the store) Carlos proceeds to administer the antidote.

I don't even want to know how the fuck he did it...

No "how the hell did you cure me of the plague that's destroyed the entire city" or "what the hell were you doing for the entire previous day". Not even a "what the hell happened to your accent?"

Well, less 'killed it' and more 'it walked into fire like a moron'.

"At a plot convenient moment where you can fight back again. The fiend!"

The only thing that could possibly defeat this mad science is even more insane science. Something completely outlandish. Like a laser cannon or something awesome along those lines. Other than that, I think you're boned.

Hah. Good luck finding a bathroom around here.

Further elaboration upon this revelation, insight to the area ahead, the Nemesis' new abilities - all are deemed entirely unnecessary chatter. Carlos turns tail, leaving the likely groggy and disoriented Jill to her devices. Not even having the decency to see if the antidote he mixed up in a basement, down the street, is actually working properly. Prick.

Jill rearms herself after her day hiatus and heads out.

Eh?

By the Fires of Hades! The Nemesis is powerful enough to destroy loading screens. He can alter the very fabric of gameplay reality!

Run away! RUN AWAY!

Lucky for Jill, Nemmy gives up the chase after about two screens. She proceeds back outside where Carlos had just come.

Though, speaking of Carlos, where could he possibly have run off to? Considering there's only one path open and it requires a lockpick to acquire the key to get there.

Now, this messy room clearly isn't zombie related. Raccoon City just simply doesn't hire janitorial staffs. Oh, hey. Another file!

PHOTO E

Goddammit! You know what? The intro sucked. It had no money shots of zombie massacres and could fly in a PG-13 film. It's aged poorly and putting no less than five fucking screencaps from it and calling them "files" is retarded. Cut it out!

In the same room is...! A key on a key hook?!

Remember back when we were getting most of the keys in somewhat logical places? Those were good times. I miss them.

Oh, did I mention the city park was also about ten feet behind the Clock Tower and only accessible through a one-way street with no sidewalks, just like the hospital? Well, there you have it.

Scenic Raccoon Park presents itself. This is the hub area of the green setting. Paths stretch out to the west and east.

Let's check out the westward path first.

This opens up to a fountain and one of the least sensible puzzles in the game.

The fountain in the center of the area can be put on different settings depending on the placement of four gears. The thing can apparently detect the difference between black and white gears.

In the water is dozens of pennies marking broken wishes. Also, a hatch leading down and one final gear configuration to open the hatch and drain the pool. Sounds like a simple matter, right?

Well, it would be. Except, for no discernable reason, Jill is limited to only moving gears into the solitary open space on the arrangement. Also, she is only allowed six moves before the machine activates. Since just yanking out all four gears and arranging them properly would make far too much sense.

Nevermind how the hell black spray painted gears would have a different effect than silver ones. Affirmative action!

There's just a single bizarre puzzle to go, as I recall. Which I don't, but I remember that one as it's an extra degree of retarded.

I'm still puzzled as to why most of the sewer canals and larger than the streets. In related news stories, that big ass worm is burrowing past and crapping out offspring.

So within 24 hours, there's been an extremely volatile mutant scientist (multiple times), zombies, spiders, a gigantic alligator, and a huge worm all sharing the same sewer system and none of them have ever met.

The sewers lead up into the heart of a grave yard. You'd be shocked at the prices of the sewer front plots for the departed.

...fuck.

Thwarted by a locked wooden door in a graveyard, Jill is forced to retrace her steps.

Let's try the east path this time.

Hunter Gammas manage to get the drop on Jill in spite of the water being a foot deep, very clear, and fully illuminated by floating lamp posts.

Luckily, their plans didn't include avoiding shotgun shells. Had they, the runner up for most ridiculous death animation might have occurred. See the bonus content for details!

Moving right along...

Dead UBCS members? What a twist.

This fellow is clutching onto the 'Park Key' which looks suspiciously like my car key which I couldn't find yesterday morning. Crafty bastard.

He's also got yet another file. Probably folded up in his back pocket tucked in his wallet. Jill is just all about the feeling up of corpses.

WRITTEN ORDERS TO THE SUPERVISORS

Well, at least there's almost a reason behind Nicholai blowing up the hospital. Not so much why he was killing black guys in it or really, why he even went beyond the front room to plant a bomb. But hey, at least it's something.

Ya know, this sounds suspiciously familiar. Like, I don't know, the entirety of Wesker's orders in the original Resident Evil. Did the writers really need to fall back on rehash? They were doing so well thus far.

Further ahead is yet another locked pathway. 20:1 the key will be somewhere in that shed in the graveyard. As such, Jill heads back in that direction.

Thanks for not being jerks for once and respawning enemies all over the place, Capcom.

The little shed in the back of the graveyard proves to be more roomy than the bulk of the buildings encountered thus far. Jill notes the fireplace has a draft coming from the back of it.

Time to do things the Resident Evil way.

First problem is that there is wood in the way. Moving it is too much work.

The solution is, of course, lighting it on fire with the lighter and waiting for the lot of it to burn to ashes.

About a hour later.

Jill then smashes open the fireplace foundation by jamming a pipe into it and thrusting until it breaks.

Crawling through reveals Umbrella had a secret hide out in the back of a graveyard shed behind a fireplace which it had bricked up shut. I don't even know either.

First, the good news. The key to the back of the park.

Now the bad news: Reading.

SUPERVISOR'S REPORT

That is the worst plan I have ever heard.

Ted Turner.

Well, there's that assumption. There's also the fact that 2/3 of the team skipped town. Or, the fact that the Nemesis is fucking terrible at his job. But hey, keep living the dream.

Now, for the really bad news...

FAX FROM THE H.Q.

Hmm...what's the word I'm looking for. Eh... Oh yes...

Fuck...

Jill attempts to leave, but has her second broken communications device springing to life as she's nearing the door, of the game.

Ah crap. Lunch break is over already? I'm coming... I'm coming...

Tune in next time for Russians, worms, and the final big decision of the game in Episode XLI: Decisions, Decisions...

Bonus Content

The death animation that barely even makes sense:
Video