The Let's Play Archive

Resident Evil 3

by The Dark Id

Part 41: Episode XLI: Decisions, Decisions...

When last we left our heroine, she had discovered Umbrella's devious shed hideout. That and Raccoon City is getting blown the fuck up in a few hours. With that said, let's get on with it...

Satisfied with her trolling of secret rooms inside fireplaces, Jill proceeds back outside.

That's saying a whole lot coming from this guy...

The only remotely useful thing Carlos mentions when Jill snaps out of it is "Nicholai! Bad!" What does she do...?

Being pawns would suggest there was any sort of plan, plot, or scheme in play. Evidence shows there is even less than none. There are agents in play to deter planning whatsoever with this group.

The fuck is there to study still that hasn't been done in any one of Umbrella's numerous labs? Even then, that's about a day's work to get the ins and outs of zombies. What more can be learned in an uncontrolled environment? People are really fucking dumb around zombies?

"That's their story and they're sticking to it."

The fuck is this legendary combat data that Umbrella wants from all these mutants? Are they making a FAQ for GameFAQs and need all the moves? I bet there's a big fucking ASCII at the top of the thing shaped like the company logo.

Thus, Nicholai abruptly departs. Along the way he falls into a sink hole, lands in a sewer passage full of poisonous gas. This gas also happens to be flammable and the place goes up like a match when Nikkie stumbles over a stick of TNT left by bank robbers who's heist ran afoul due to the viral outbreak. He is then blasted clear across the park and lands in a ravine filled with bees. Zombie bees.

He will emerge without a scratch in the final act.

Jill heads back outside. Another rumble shakes the area.

A view of the somber Sewage Grove Memorial Cemetery opens up.

By the look of things, you've equipped your safety helmet. Good girl.

Indeed, no one can stop Mr. Domino.

Bigger boobs at the sacrifice of an old lady left hand. Was it really worth it, Jill?

Jill once more finds herself down on her ass. This is a common theme in this series.

Don't be a giant phallus. Don't have a teethed vagina. I've ran out of jokes for both...

A monster you've already fought a day ago in an extremely gimmicky mini-boss fight.

They're not even trying to be remotely subtle with this. You are staring at a gigantic mutant sentient penis...

...With a fucking teethed vagina inside of it... Thank you Capcom. We've come full circle.

Despite the utterly deviant creature design, it's a remarkably dull boss fight. The highlights are as pictured.

The death throes of the creature summons the only instance of a Resident Evil character just climbing over a damn fence.

Jill proceeds to the other side of the park.

Thus did the epic saga of the walk in the park come to a close.

Jill proceeds up the stairs and ventures forth the location that jettisons Umbrella from amoral fuck-ups to cackling Saturday Morning villains.

Another peculiar sound of what is likely a monster ambush waiting to happen. At this point Jill still hasn't gotten that whole "run the fuck away from every noise ever" instinct in. I know it should say 'creak'. I don't give a fuck, there's a creek down below there and it was making that fucking noise, got it?

I honestly can't think of a single way the Nemesis is possibly hanging beneath that rope bridge doing this without taking the whole bridge down or falling off like a moron.

Tonight's forecast. Cloudy with a chance of Van Gough.

With a forty percent chance of mutant rear. Low of sixty-five.

Jill finds herself with precious few options. Either pushing a monster three times her size off the side of the ravine. Or leaping about thirty feet off the cliff.

Running is not an option as the bridge is suddenly out.

Also, a missile is heading straight for it.

Also, a T-Rex. A zombie T-Rex.

The bridge is also on fire.

"So make up your damned mind what it's going to be..."

This decision decides how the next act will play out and which of the two endings our heroine will obtain. The result of each option:

Push Nemmy Off - (SPOILER: Jill begins the "Dead Factory" going through the front door. Nicholai dies a gruesome death. Jill escapes on a helicopter.)

Jump Off - (SPOILER: Jill begins the "Dead Factory" in the lower levels. Nicholai steals the rescue chopper. Jill is rescued by a cameo character from Resident Evil 1.)

With that said...

Tune in next time for:

Final Act - Jamboree's End