Part 2: Episode II: And You Thought Leon Was Emo...Welcome back, when last we left our heroine, she had gotten her ass kicked and tossed in jail for breaking into high security corporate facilities, like the hippie she is. With that said, let's begin...
Let's see, a lighter is demanded of Claire. Since, in the ten days since they initially captured her, they've not bothered so much as searching her. Those clothes must really be getting rank at this point.
We also get the assorted vital stats on Ms. Redfield, ripe for the Wikipedia bio updating. There's also a Playing Manual, but forget that. Now, about that lighter...
Ahh! Turn of the century generation graphics!
The narrator from earlier is nice enough to release Claire from her cell. That's one dedicated storyteller.
This fellow is Rodrigo Juan Raval, by the way. We'll be able to find his name as soon as this cutscene ends. But honestly, the guy has all of a dozen lines with about eight of them being squandered here, so I suppose he can have a proper title.
"It was a pretty awesome battle scene. Too bad you were down here and missed it all, huh?" *winks at the audience*
"The explosions, gunfire, and screams from upstairs. Bad things going down. God, you're slow. Look, there's some zombies outside. Get out of here. Yes, every last Umbrella site has a spare cache of the T-Virus, why do you ask?"
"Unless you're up for a ridiculous adventure. Are you up for one of those?"
"Well, I was coming down here to get my groove on, but you were already awake and I'm bashful so... Uh! I mean..."
We're now able to play beyond messing with menus. All good games begin with the inventory screen, ya know.
There's a few things of interest in the room.
Hmm, what's up wit this HEMOSTATIC MEDICINE? Could there possibly be a need for HEMOSTATIC MEDICINE in the future for err-
The escort's name is at
The end of the document.
Umbrella Medical, Paris.
3rd Security Unit Leader
Rodrigo Juan Raval.
There, we formally have this guy's name.
On the desk is also our first weapon, the Combat Knife. Which, unlike all other games in the series aside from Resident Evil 4, rocks the fuck out. It does moderate damage, but its key point is each swipe does about three to four hits a piece. Downward swipes will take out a zombie's legs in one to two swipes, at which point they're easy pickings in a handful more.
"Armed at last. You know... I wouldn't even be in here if it wasn't for you..."
"Just couldn't leave me alone to find my brother, could you?!"
Gee, I hope that whole horrific experience in Raccoon City didn't have any mental distress on poor Ms. Redfield...
Now, just calm down, Claire. If you kill him now you won't get spiffy items later. Think ahead.
Well, we have our first save point in this corridor. With the archaic limited saves of the older games in the series using ink ribbons in place. Wonderful...
A short jog down this dim hallway brings Claire to daylight.
Drama loading screen. Where it takes twice as long to climb this set of stairs as Claire's heart pounds. It's all very suspenseful. Hey...didn't we have manual walking up stairs back in Nemesis? What happened?
After roughly five minutes, Claire ascends the flight of stairs. At the top, she finds a wrecked truck.
Oil is leaking from the
A dead body and a
Briefcase can be seen inside.
Unable to claim either right now, Claire walks away from the slowly burning gas spilled wreckage. Gee, sure home it doesn't...
What an explosive surprise. *gets pelted with tomatoes*
Does anyone ever actually do that outside movies and TV shows?
The briefcase falls from the wreckage. Yes, it is important. No, we cannot obtain it now. No, not even with a steel pole to nudge it out of the fire.
A body also falls from the fire.
Claire, you look like you could actually be wondering what is going to happen next. Maybe you should have thought ahead before trying the one-woman army stunt on the evil corporation that's responsible for three or four zombie outbreaks up to this point?
"I'm back, baby. Did ya miss me?"
Claire falls on her ass. As that's what women in zombie movies do when confronted with easily dispatched shambling corpses.
Ahh! In game prerendered scene without warning! Things just got way uglier!
"Lady, for the love of God, bring me ingame. The graphics...they're horrid!"
"Just look at it. The fog's worse than Turok 2!"
"Ahh! God! My eyes. Make it end! Make it end!"
Claire would scream, but her face seems to have melted off.
*wipes forhead* That was scary. Anyway, Claire quickly dispatches the undead beasties, as the knife, as has been said, rocks.
A bit of zombie slaying later and Claire finds herself in the next area. Something seems to have caught her eye.
Some jerk opens up with a chaingun.
Claire ducks into cover, as this unknown assailant, while a cheating villain, adheres to entertainment media rules of gatling gun operators being horrible shots.
Little sis Redfield looks for a way to fight back.
"Thanks for the plot convenient weaponry, undead oven mitt hand."
Unable to see over the heat he's overcompensating with, the assassin peaks around the edge to see if he's gotten our girl.
Claire takes this chance to strike back.
A guy shooting a storm of bullets couldn't hit one person, but someone with a pistol from the same distance can take out a searchlight in one shot. Uh huh.
Oh God, that nasally voice. Please tell me this person has a bad head cold.
Didn't you hear that voice, Claire? It's one of them. Fire!
Gee, what tipped you off? The ability to recognize and evade gun fire, operate a firearm, or the basic speech and motor skills?
The idiot jumps down.
If he says anything about a three-headed monkey, plant one between his eyes.
A jacket that barely fits, a bright yellow shirt, camo pants, and a novelty neck collar from Battle Royale...
Meet Steve Burnside: douche bag.
"Somewhat likable character. How long until you die again?"
"Claire, Claire, Claire, Chair, no Claire, Claire-"
"So I take it you can fly whatever aircraft or helicopter may be stationed there."
"Sure, I played a lot of Ace Combat before being sent to this prison camp. No sweat."
*shrug* "Good enough for me."
This kid has ADD something awful.
But you looked like you were making so much progress getting to this alleged airport by camping out missing people with a chaingun in that tower.
"Wow, what a douche."
What a douche indeed. But just how much of a douche? Find out next time in Episode III: Steve the Douche
Steve Burnside must be heard to understand the hatred toward him: