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Riho Futaba Series

by SelenicMartian

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Original Thread: Demolition Girl and other adventures of Riho Futaba

 

Introduction

Welcome to an LP series dedicated to Riho Futaba and the Simple 2000 series, you poor bastards.

WHO IS THIS RIHO FUTABA?



Riho almost started a singing career in 2004*, but her main job is being the incidental mascot of the Simple series by D3 Publisher. You know, the series which gave us such classics as Earth Defense Force and... Onēchanbara, and... uh... The Sniper 2, Snowboard Racer 2, Metropolismania 2, Street Boyz, and that's just the shit that was localised.

*actually, it's a game soundtrack CD.

RIHO LIVES EVERYWHERE.

Riho has starred in a couple dozen games, but at least half of them are basically poker for the DS or the PS2, and many have never left Japan. That includes:





The title of this one is, apparently, 'Love*Smash! 5.1 ~The Rebellion of Tennis Robo', and it almost made it to Europe.

There's also:



Ew.

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THE GAMES:

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Riho's Western appearances are weird and colourful.
We'll start with the game that made Riho famous:

Demolition Girl
/2004.05.20/
Originally Simple 2000 Volume 50. THE 大美人 (The Gigantic Beauty)



Wait a minute, I've seen that Euro skyline.



Thanks, 505. Now I want to see Riho in Raw Danger. As the danger.

I messed up the recording resolution, so there's a black border for this one

Video #1: Model Unleashed.

Video #2: Run away!

Next up: smiling in the face of perversity:

Paparazzi
/2004.06.24/
Originally Simple 2000 Volume 53. THE カメラ小僧 (The Camera Apprentice)



Something got lost in translation, I fear.

Video #3: Not pizza.

Next up: all dressed up and no cars to throw:

Fitness Fun
/2004.02.26/
Originally Simple 2000 Ultimate Volume 18. ラブ★エアロビ♪ (Love*Aerobic)



Why take a rhythm game about a bikini model workout and make the cover look like it's aimed at women?

Video #4: Deprivation.

Next up: The Club Fight.

Fighting Angels
/2004.06.24/
Originally Simple 2000 Volume 55. THE キャットファイト (The Catfight: Woman Cat Legend)



The titles should be swapped between the two cover variants.

Video #5: Riho's favourite pastime!

Next up: Fire Pro Wresting Rejects.

World Fighting
/2003.12.18/
Originally Simple 2000 Volume 42 THE 異種格闘技 ボクシングVSキックVS空手VSプロレスVS柔術VS… (The Various Unarmed Fighting Disciplines: Boxing vs Kick vs Karate vs Pro Wrestling vs Jujitsu vs...)



Thank you, 505 Games. That Japanese title is distilled incontinence.

Video #6: Fighting round the world.

Next up: too sexy for PEGI.

Pink Pong
/2003.12.11/
Originally Simple 2000 Ultimate Volume 15 ラブ ピンポン (Love*PingPong)



- Sure, the original cover is fine, but we need to make it sound like it's a porn movie.

Video #7: The worst ping pong.

Next up: wet floor.

Party Girls
/2004.09.30/
Originally Simple 2000 Volume 63. もぎたて水着!女まみれのTHE 水泳大会 (Fresh-Picked Swimsuits! The Swim Meet of Covered Woman) [I'm getting these insane translations off Wikipedia.]



No, I'm not showing the PAL cover here, watch the video.

Video #8: Guaranteed fun for all!

Next up: smelly girl.

Zombie Hunters
/2005.06.23/
Originally Simple 2000 Volume 80 THE お姉チャンプルゥ 〜THE姉チャン特別編〜 (The Sister Champloo ~The Sister Special Compilation~)



Hey, put Riho back on the cover, you bastards

Video #9: Riho's true age.

Video #10: They did lots of tests on me.

Video #11: The undub patch.

Next up: the best game?

Zombie Hunters 2
/2006.06.29/
Originally Simple 2000 Volume 101 THE お姉チャンポン 〜THE姉チャン2特別編〜 (The Sister Mixture ~The Sister 2 Special Edition~) [Same sodding symbols, plus '2'. Why is the translation different?]



I've seen that Aya picture before.

Video #12: Time for a nice, hot shower.

Video #13: Goh the Crow.

Video #14: Soon, it'll be over.

Next up: the Simplest of them all.

All-Star Fighters
/2005.12.15/
Originally Simple 2000 Volume 91. THE ALL★STAR格闘祭 (The All*Star Fighting Festival)



How sweet of the European cover designer to add a character from a never-localised game.

Video #15: Slutty Pikmin.

Video #16: Riho Cubed.

And that was all I've got on Riho Futaba. Let's never talk about it again.

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Ramos invites us to take a peek at Riho's fandom





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