Part 4: Introducing: The Elendians!
And I missed the vote, but I would have voted for Serene anyway because I like "feisty."
(I knew before I even started the thread that Serene was going to be the most popular choice. She also happens to be my favourite, so I find this state of affairs perfectly acceptable.)
Ursula, the mysterious woman who appeared at Heaven's Gate, used the Sacred Tongue to summon the holy beast Aghart.
The Grim Angels succeeded in defeating Aghart, but in the midst of battle, Ein disappeared.
Meanwhile, Ledah crossed Heaven's Gate and finally set foot on Riviera's soil.
At the end of each Chapter, you are graded on how many turns it took you to complete it, and how many items you have remaining. (Note that this is turns taken on the map, rather than in battle.) This adds to your score, but it also affects how many Trigger Points you'll start the next chapter with.
Sadly I didn't get a double S, because I did goof around a bit. However, you get more than enough TP from S-ranking your battles, so it's not really a big deal.
The village of Elendia is your base of operations, so to speak. You return here between chapters to rest up, and there are often sidequests (read: fetch quests) to do and items to find that'll help you out a lot in the next level. There's usually something new every time you return here, so it's worth your while to spend some time wandering around and chatting to people rather than immediately charging into the next stage.
He's awake, Fia!
Lina, is that true? Thank goodness...
You just fell from the sky!
Do you have any injuries?
You don't, right? I rubbed ointment over your body while you slept!
All over it.
And we washed your clothes, since they were all dirty!
Oh, don't be embarrassed. Nudity is a beautiful thing. It is how all the wonderful creatures of nature are brought into the world. I, for one, long for the day when society sheds its stifling notions of "decency" and embraces-
Uh, right, that's great. What'd you say your names were?
My name's Lina!
And where exactly am I?
We're in Elendia, a town in Riviera.
Riviera? That sounds...familiar.
Can you say your name?
No...Ein! That's it. I'm Ein.
Ein. What a lovely name.
Do you actually like it or are you just patronising me?
Where are you from, Ein?
...I can't remember.
Could it be amnesia?
Wait! I bet my wallet has a few things that'd help remind me. Where'd you guys put-
Silly Ein! I went through your clothes before we washed them! You never had a wallet!
No, I have a feeling I remember-
You never had a wallet!
...are you sure? I-
oh god what was that
What was what? Oh, you mean...this?
how can you pronounce a heart THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE
YOU NEVER HAD A WALLET
I NEVER HAD A WALLET!
That's right! You never had a wallet!
I...I never had a wallet.
Well, until your memory returns, why don't you rest here?
Is that OK?
Of course. Make yourself at home.
Let's examine the table before talking to Fia. This gets us...
Sweet. Free bread. (He actually says this. Best line in the whole damn game.)
Now let's have a chat with Fia and get our first glimpse of the affection system in action. When we talk to her here, we're presented with three options.
Getting her name right will lead to an increase in affection, represented by a heart forming above her head. Getting it wrong decreases her affection, represented by a breaking heart.
And that's pretty much all there is to it. Aside from your dialogue choices, there are only two things that will affect the affection values. One, if a girl falls in battle, it'll lower her affection. Two, if a girl strikes the finishing blow in a battle, her affection will rise.
Since you people deemed Fia unworthy, we are of course going to respond with:
Ein, it's Fia.
Option 1 lowers affection, 2 raises it, 3 has no effect.
Still a little dizzy.
Maybe you need some more ointment.
No! No. That's OK. Really. I'll manage.
Are you sure? Lina has lots of ointment here. For your body.
You know, now that I think about it, I'm not so bad. Thanks anyway.
It rubs the ointment on its skin.
See me after class, Lina.
Well, I already met you while you were sleeping...
Nothing. Never mind. I can't smell any ointment on you, so I think we're good.
Anyway, the name's CoCo. I help out around here. Lately, I've been feeling like Lina's personal maid...but don't tell her I said that. Please.
I'll try not to.
I'm serious. Sometimes she puts me in a jar with poison ivy and doesn't let me out.
OK, seriously. I promise I won't say anything to Lina. Now I have to get going.
don't leave me alone with her
At this point, we are met with a classic RPG device; the game switching off the plot and stubbornly refusing to reactivate it until you've engaged in a vapid conversation with everyone in the immediate area.
We'll just go from top to bottom here.
NEXT STOP: PIXIA RESIDENCE.
All the grown-ups talk about them.
My daddy says that all women are demons, and that makes me a demon larva.
...your dad said that, huh? OK. What's your name, kid?
Alright, Molan. I want you to listen to me very carefully, because this is very, very important.
Your father is absolutely right.
Fight with me! (He actually says this.)
Uh...fight you? Sorry, I can't. I'm a little busy.
C'mon! Put up your dukes!
Look, I'm a grown-up, so I can't go around fighting kids. OK? Maybe when you're a little old- ow!
Oh! I'm sorry, mister. Did I hurt you?
Yeah, a little bi-
I'M ONLY LIKE SIX YEARS OLD
...I should go.
Hi there. I'm Kyle.
And I'm Mylene.
Nice to meet you both. I'm-
Hey. Did I say you could speak, woman?
No you didn't. Do I look like I care? Maybe once your lazy ass gets a JOB, you can start acting like anything you say in this house is worth a shit.
Job job job. Always with the job. Just what the hell am I supposed to do for a job in a village that has maybe fifteen other people in it? Why don't you answer THAT, since you're so damn smart?
So go out and cut some wood! Do some hunting! Weed the goddamned garden! Anything so's I don't have to look at your ugly face all day!
Well, I can see this is a bad time, so I'm just gonna, uh...
Ugly? We'll see who's ugly once I'm done beating some sense into your head!
Oh no! Lardass is gonna beat me! Good thing I could have all my shit packed and be halfway to Rosalina Island by the time he manages to get off the fucking sofa!
OK, you two enjoy your domestic violence! Bye now!
Hey, I'm sorry for what I did earlier. Really. I want you to have this staff as an apology.
Really? Well, thanks. That's very nice of-
Somebody help! This mean guy took my staff!
What...I...you just gave it to me!
Alright, fine! Take it back! Just take it!
I NEED AN ADULT! THERE'S A BAD MAN TRYING TO MAKE ME PLAY WITH HIS STICK!
Hey! You! What the hell are you doing to my kid?!
shit shit shit
NEXT STOP: HOBBIT SMITHY.
Before you say anything, let's get one thing straight. One crack about the Shire, or Gandalf, or the One Ring of Power or any of that crap, and I charge you a fine. Compensation for lost productivity.
Whatever time I have to spend scraping your brains off my floor is time I could have used for blacksmithing. You follow?
Got it. No Tolkien jokes.
Good. Long as you remember that, we're cool. Now, what's that rusty piece of crap you're lugging around? Let me see that for a second.
Hi hooo! Hah! Hahhh!
...did you just hammer the rust out of that sword?
As a side note, I love this little guy. You find this completely random junk in your travels, and you've no idea what it's for or what to do with it. Then you come back and talk to Chappi, and he just says "Hey, can I see that for a second?" and boom, he hammers it into a brand new weapon for you. He never asks for anything in return and he never complains. Totally underappreciated.
NEXT STOP: CRYSTAL CAVERNS.
Ouch. Tough crowd here, huh?
Do you know what my job is?
No, I don't.
My job is to stay in this cave and dig up crystals. Without any tools. All day and all night. Do you see these horrible, twisted things on the end of my arms? They used to be my hands.
Nobody feeds me. I have to scrape the fungus off the rocks around here if I want to eat. A lot of it is poisonous and it makes me vomit. Sometimes it comes out with blood in it. When I do get to sleep, which is maybe once a week, I have to squeeze into a crack in the wall and drag a boulder in front of it so I don't get eaten alive by rats. And this has been going on for about twenty years.
So excuse me if I don't really feel like laughing at your shitty puns.
(I am a terrible person.)
NEXT STOP: MAGIC GUILD.
My name's Claude.
I collect all sorts of...is something the matter?
I just spoke to Ritz.
Ritz? Wait, let me guess. He told you we've been making him dig for crystals bare-handed for twenty years or something, right?
Yeah! How can you put the poor little guy through that? Don't you people have souls?!
Dude, he feeds the same story to everyone who comes here. It's a load of nonsense.
Seriously. The truth is, nobody makes him do it. Nobody even wants him to do it. He's been told over and over again that he's more than welcome in the village, but he refuses to come out of that cave. I myself have tried to bring him food dozens of times and all he does is throw rocks at me.
Yeah. To be honest, I think he just does it for the attention. In the end, we all decided it was best to ignore him. You should too. Maybe he'll stop doing this to himself when he realises he's not going to wring any more sympathy out of it.
Huh. OK, then. I guess I was getting all worked up over nothing. Sorry for yelling at you.
Hey, don't worry about it. Like I said, he does it to everyone.
Well, thanks for letting me know. I'd better get going.
(Excellent. The fool doesn't suspect a thing.)
omg burn the witch
(That right there was the pinnacle of my writing ability, folks. It's all downhill from here.)
NEXT STOP: UNDINE SPRING.
I was so worried about you!
Um...I'm sorry, who are you again?
Who am I? You forgot?! All those nights we spent together! (She actually says this.)
Don't "what" me, mister. You owe me some child support.
IF I HAD TEN OR MORE DRINKS THEN IT DOES NOT COUNT. IT IS A RULE.
Relax. I'm just kidding. Anyway, I suppose I owe you for saving my life, so here's a ribbon.
Awesome. Nothing says "gratitude" like a ribbon.
And then she gave us a Ribbon.
If any of the girls wear the Ribbon in battle, it protects them from status ailments. Just like it does in every RPG. Why is that?
If Ein uses it, however, it actually removes all the positive effects on the party. Apparently the sight is just that disturbing.
(By the way, since all these fairies look the same, I should probably mention that this one is NoNo, the one we helped out back in Heaven's Gate.)
Oh look, our inventory's full.
This is the most annoying aspect of Riviera, bar none. When your inventory is full and you pick up a new item, you have to discard something. Since you can only carry a maximum of twenty items, and they don't break all that often, you'll pretty much have to do this every single time, all the way to the end of the game.
If you play Riviera, you will see this message over and over and over and over again. The words "Select an item to discard" will end up burned into your neural pathways. It won't be long before the very sight of it clouds your vision with a blood red haze, and then the next thing you know you're clutching someone's entrails, surrounded by policemen and about to be presented with some very difficult questions.
You're a new face around here, huh? I don't really care, but it's bad manners not to introduce myself. I'm Lulu, and that over there is Meute the Undine. She can't talk, so don't you try taking advantage of her.
Wait, wait. She can't talk, so you name her "Meute"? That's kind of insensitive, isn't it?
What do you mean?
"Oh look, a little kid with no eyes! Let's call him 'Blinde'!"
"Hey Laime! How's that wheelchair working out for you? I'm going to meet Deaff and Reatard for lunch later, you want to come with?"
Hey, shut up! That's just her name, alright? I didn't come up with it.
Oh, my bad. So she told you her name was Meute, then.
...OK, you know what? Get the hell out of my spring.
NEXT STOP: GROVE OF REPOSE.
FUCK OFF I HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING TO WORK WITH SHE IS SO DULL.
Hi there. I'm Ein.
Nya! You smell funny, nya.
*sigh* It's ointment. Don't rub it in.
Yeah, I'm still getting my bearings. It's a little-
Now, if I was the one who picked you up... (He actually says this, and every other line that follows. Seriously.)
How about you getting picked up by me?
I...I don't...are you supposed to be hitting on me or something?
I'll keep you locked away.
OK. I'm just gonna go over there now. Alright?
In a safe place.
please stop touching my hair
At this point a new area (the Elder's house) opens up. Guess where we're going now, kids?
Let me repeat myself! Why'd you cancel the expedition to Rosalina!?
Fia! They're stopping the expedition!
No...we have lost contact with the Arcs of Rosalina Island. What if it was demons...? We have to find out.
Fia, my dear granddaughter, listen to me. This is for the sake of Elendia.
And that makes it okay to forget about the Arcs?!
Yes. Yes it does. In fact, I already have. Arcs? What are Arcs? I have never heard that name before in my glorious, Arc-free life.
Am I interrupting anything?
goodness what a nice spear you have i'll just be leaving now
Wait, Ein! Grandfather cancelled the Rosalina Island expedition!
OK. Does this knowledge grant me immunity to the scary lady with the spear? Because otherwise, I still think I should go.
The people there, the Arcs, have been killed by demons.
That's not true! We've simply lost contact with them.
But what if they really were attacked? If we ignore this, the demons will invade all of Riviera. Grandfather, please send a group to Rosalina Island.
Rosawhosawhat now? I've no idea what you're talking about. I'm old and senile, don'tcher know.
I'm ashamed of you!
What are you two going to do?
Lina's not giving up! The Arcs are my friends! We grew up together!
Lina, let's go by ourselves!
How are you going to get to a far away island on your own?
We'll use the magic circle!
Ein, you should go back to the house. You're our guest, and we have no intention of bringing you to harm.
Yeah! You go back home and rest. Leave us girls to handle it.
We'll just go to the island alone.
Putting ourselves in danger.
Risking our youthful, innocent lives for the sake of our friends.
But don't you worry your little head about it. CoCo will make you dinner if you ask nicely.
While you're getting waited on hand and foot, be sure to spare a thought for us as we desperately fight for our survival.
On the dark, unforgiving cliffs of Rosalina.
Cold and alone.
NEXT STOP: ROSALINA ISLAND.
Ledah, my man. Did you find Ursula yet?
Still working on it.
Her body lies in the centre of Riviera, somewhere in the domain of Yggdrasil.
L? Everything alright?
Yeah, yeah. I'm just...a little off-base, is all.
What? Where are you?
Uh...the middle of the ocean.
You taking a boat?
No, actually IN the ocean. Like, on the sea floor.
...well what the hell are you doing there?
I just...it just seemed like it'd be the place to go.
I don't get it. I tell you to find Ursula, you go under the sea? Why? Just...I mean, what the fuck?
Well, no offence boss, but it would have been pretty helpful if you'd told me where she was before I started searching.
Look, whatever. I don't care. Just get to Yggdrasil, alright? Don't mean to crack the whip here, but you're really gonna have to bust your ass to pick up Ein's slack.
I didn't think Ursula would attempt to stop me. In order to activate the Retribution, Ursula must be dealt with. I have no choice but to summon the Sealed One...but alas, I need souls to do so. That Malice...she has yet to collect enough souls. I need more...more Sprites must be sacrificed. All for the judgment of the gods...
Boss? Should I still be listening, or is this a monologue?
Could it be that the devious Hector is up to no good? What will befall our heroes on Rosalina Island? Is this LP ever going to start being entertaining?
There is only one way to find out! Assuming you do not play the game yourself! Or read the script! Or ask someone else who knows!
(ps the answer to question three is no not ever)
Coral Staff: Staff-type weapon. Physical damage.
Iron Sword: Broadsword-type weapon. Physical damage.
Longbow: Bow-type weapon. Physical damage.
Rapier: Rapier-type weapon. Physical damage.
Ribbon: Support item. Confers immunity to status ailments.