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Saints Row 2

by Kaubocks & Panzer Skank

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Original Thread: SAINTS ROW 2 - A carefully scripted narrative LP about friendship



Saints Row 2 is fantastic. When the first game came out I didn't look at it as much more than a Grand Theft Auto knockoff, and after trying it out for myself years later my suspicions were mostly confirmed. The main problem, to me, is that it didn't have much character. It felt like it was trying too hard to emulate something it wasn't meant to be. But when the game got a sequel and had a chance to grow into its own personality it was a beauty to behold.

I love everything about Saints Row 2. The characters are interesting, the city feels alive, and the story has such an unmatched blend of being ridiculous, dark, and still managing to feel grounded in reality (barring a few extreme examples). It's a perfect little world encapsulated in a video game and it's time to tear that world a new one. My good friend Panzer Skank will be joining me on this adventure because not only is she fun to play video games with, but through some eldritch magicks she always manages to somehow break every game she touches. With a game as unstable as this, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for spectacular things to come.

For the most part it's safe to go into this game not knowing anything about the first game. There's some references here and there but there's very little you can't infer by putting two and two together. I'll point out anything I feel might need a little explaining, but if you'd like to learn for yourself feel free to check out this great LP of the first game by Edna Mode.

We're probably not going to crack down real hard on spoilers. That's not to say we're going to talk during the cutscenes, actively spoil the game in the videos, or that we aren't going to show off absolutely everything we can-- but for the both of us this is our favorite Saints Row and we're largely just reveling in the craziness of it all and playing around with mods. We're just trying to have fun and we hope that everyone else has fun by proxy.

Sadly, not even this game is without its flaws-- the biggest problem being that the PC port was outsourced and is nigh unplayable. The port is notorious for crashing frequently, mistakenly thinking USB devices are controllers, stuttering/lagging, running at almost twice the normal speed, and for missions just straight up not appearing in the game at all! Not all hope is lost though, as Idol Ninja took it upon himself to fix the game with the mod "Gentlemen of the Row". This mod not only fixes these problems but also adds in a slew of new content, such as new clothing options, new skins for your gang members, and modified weapons. So if you think you're familiar with the game, don't be surprised if something new and zany happens in these videos. We'll ideally turn on more and more options as time goes on to keep things fresh and to see what horrible new things this mod brings to the table.

Episode 00: Intro
Episode 01: Jeffrey
Episode 02: The Calm Before the Storm
Episode 03: So That Went Well
Episode 04: Slam Dunk Tennis
Episode 05: Crater
Episode 06: Inside Ocean
Episode 07: Please Stand By
Episode 08: Things Were Looking Up
Episode 09: Donnie
Episode 10: Stealth Mission
Episode 11: Antarctica-safe
Episode 12: Just Ask IdolNinja
Episode 13: The Car-eating Building
Episode 14: Jessica Escaped
Episode 15: Nukamingo 9001
Episode 16: Dissension
Episode 17: Rocket Man
Episode 18: Finagle's Law
Episode 19: Slang of the Week
Episode 20: Bonercopters
Episode 21: Nature is Amazing
Episode 22: Rocket Things [SSLP]
Episode 23: Mistaken Identity
Episode 24: Naked Pictures of Shogo Akuji
Episode ドニー: A Glitch in the Matrix
Episode 25: Where Eagles Dare
Episode 26: Guardian Angel
Episode 27: Hell
Episode 28: Dick Dragon
Episode 29: Amber Alert
Episode 30: Casual Friday
Episode 31: Gentle Summer Rain
~Bonus 01: Hell Part 2 (The Re-hellening)
~Bonus 02: A Regular Day in Stilwater

Episode 10: [1]
Episode 13: [1][2][3]
Episode 14: [1]
Episode 15: [1]
Episode 16: [1][2]
Episode 18: [1]
Episode 25: [1]
Episode 27: [1]
Episode 28: [1]
Episode 31: [1]

Waking up from an exploding-boat-induced coma can be rather startling; even more so when you come to learn that your former gang is no more. The Boss (originally The Player) rose the ranks of the Saints rapidly until he was set up by the previous leader and knocked out by a bomb. Escaping from prison, it's up to us to not only piece our life but also our gang back together.

Saints Row handles co-op by not really acknowledging the other player at all. On their end, THEY'RE the boss and they see themselves in their cutscenes. Twice the Boss, twice the terror!

Carlos is a Saint through and through, which is saying something considering the Saints have all but disbanded years ago and he wasn't even a member in the first place. Nevertheless he's willing to put himself in harm's way to help the Boss escape prison so it may be worth asking him for more help down the line. RIP Purple Donnie.

Everyone's favorite mass murderer, Johnny Gat is a Gary Stu in everything but his name. Cool, smart, and invincible, Gat will kick your ass two ways to Sunday and not even break a sweat in the process. Gat returns from his appearance in the first game as a general for the Saints, going head to head with the Vice Kings to help fake the death of his girlfriend Aisha. He's the closest thing the Boss had to a best friend so when Johnny's in trouble it's up to us to save him.

Johnny's girlfriend and R&B/hip-hop diva Aisha is currently living in secrecy-- rarely, if ever, leaving her own home after having her death faked in the first game to get out of her recording contract to Kingdom Come Records. She currently lives with Gat, who prides himself in being her protector. Dead twice over.

fuck Pierce

Shaundi does a looooooooot of drugs and a looooooooot of men-- both of which are going to prove useful in her knowledge of how the Sons of Samedi operate and her network of exes feeding her all the information we'll ever need.

fuck Shaundi

He took us in. He took our life. We took his in return.

A slow piece of dumb garbage for idiots that smells and also it's stupid. It can't even handle a little nuclear explosion every now and then. Wouldn't be so fucking bad if A MISSION DIDN'T HINGE ON ITS SURVIVAL.

Very little is known about The General. His background prior to coming to Stilwater is unknown, as is his name. He has a very polite, cool, and professional demeanor, yet controls his gang through fear and intimidation as his reputation as a ruthless warlord when he needs to be. He has no real standing headquarters for his gang, opting instead to keep watch of his gang by driving around in his hearse-styled limousine. Had less speaking lines than his subordinates and died to rockets and septic waste.

Much like The General, there isn't much known about Mr. Sunshine. He acts as The General's right-hand man and has extreme distaste for Veteran Child. I don't care how fucked up his face is; I ain't scared of him.

Local DJ of a radio station nobody gives a shit about (Gen-X), Veteran Child also DJs at the night club On Track. He's pretty much just in the Sons of Samedi for the drugs, but still fairly loyal to The General. Has extreme distaste for Mr. Sunshine.

Son of Kazuo Akuji, founder of The Ronin. Ruthless, cocky, but also a bit of an airhead. Has insecurities about his poor relationship with his father, but does his best to lead The Ronin as his father runs the Japanese branch of the gang.

Shogo's right-hand man. Should honestly be in charge of The Ronin but hey look at what you can accomplish by being related to someone. Extremely skilled swordsman. Never uses a gun. Fear this man at all costs. Died with honor.

Kazuo Akuji rightfully thinks his son is a blundering idiot. Leads the Japanese branch of The Ronin. Is a 'boogeyman', according to Johnny Gat. Lesser known fact: much better skateboarder than his son.

All this science I don't understand. It's just my job five days a week; a rocket man.

Leader of The Brotherhood-- a gang full of people you'd expect to find in a coked-up sideshow. Most likely the only person more muscular than Kaubocks's third boss, aside from Sexual Grimace. Tries to negotiate with The Saints peacefully but WE THE SAINTS WE DON'T NEGOTIATE YOU WANT TO NEGOTIATE WE NEGOTIATE WITH GUNS. Currently has a sick nasty burn on his face from a radioactive tattoo.

Another returning character from the first game! Donnie was a mechanic for the Westside Rollerz. He became very close friends with a 3rd Street Saints member Lin and ultimately has a minor hand in her death. With the Westside Rollerz being no more, he now works on cars for The Brotherhood.


Donnie PLEASE.


Maero's girlfriend. Comes from a rich family but gave up her cushy life to spend her time with Maero. Most notable for being the only person capable of calming Maero down when he gets worked up.

oops i threw her

Guitarist for the Feed Dogs! He plays guitar and makes tattoos. Maero's best friend. That's about it. Respects Maero so much he wanted to join in the "horrible burn" party. He's probably dead but we didn't actually see it on camera so who really knows???

Honestly my favorite character in the game. Acting as the Head of Ultor's Special Projects division, we still don't really know just how deep or far his influence spreads just yet, but I'm sure he's got something special planned just for us.

Fanart and gifs

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