Part 25: This Is Just The Start Of Maze Related ShenanigansHowdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we went through the Exhibit of Oddities, where Zach was...Kidnapped? Not exactly kidnapped, but he was dressed as a pig for an exhibit, which he escaped and then won the big pig race, which lets us meet the queen. Just before the break, we--
...Oh. Zach was about to be made into the main course.
By a French stereotype, nonetheless.
And much like the actual French, this guy is a dick.*
*I don't know if the French are actually dicks or not. I only have TV and movies to base that off of.
Sacre bleu is an actual French term, meaning "Holy blue" and it used as an exclamation akin to "Jesus Christ!"
Jesus Bleu, you're still going to cook him!?
Run, Zach, he has a ladle!
And what I assume is a filthy mouth! I don't speak French!
On the bright side, we're not going to be eaten anymore. On the unlit side, I'm not sure where this leads to, so we still might end up being eaten.
...Oh, of course. It leads to a maze on the inside of the castle's walls.
As the update title suggests, this maze here will be the first of many we'll be combing our way through.
There's no combat here, so we don't have to worry about any of that. We've just gotta find the right ways through.
I'm not going to show a play-by-play of how to get through this place. It's honestly not too difficult to find your way through, and there is one secret in here, but you'll probably end up stumbling on it, if you're going through it blind.
These air vents are scattered about and lead as points to boost us up and out of here.
Zach pauses long enough to take a whiz on one of these trees before moving along.
These doors each lead back inside, to a different point of entry for the maze. They're all linked together and if you're not sure of what you're doing, you'll come back to them fairly frequently.
You'll come to plenty of spots that have treasure chests in them, too. Zach, being a dog without opposable thumbs, can't open these chests.
I'm sure you all understand the implication of that.
This update isn't very long. I could combined this one with the last update and we would have been perfectly fine. I'm not sure why I didn't. I guess I felt the switch from exhibit to pig race to meeting royalty to dungeon maze was just stretching it a little too far.
Ah-ha, a door! Finally, some real--
Well, shit, it's locked. Definitely not getting that door open, thumbs or not.
So back to the maze we go.
This maze isn't too bad to navigate through; it's a lot of straight paths, so nothing is going to really trip you up unless you take a piss break and come back and forget which way you were going.
After wandering enough to find a secret passage, you'll notice that certain patches of the room start lighting up, signifying that there is something important there. And it's good to go wander over there.
The secret area path is really easy, too. It's a straight shot with no deviations; as long as you find the right way to go forward, you'll getting out of it.
It leads us to this crazy-ass old woman.
Not quite sure how, since I'm pretty sure we have no way to hold a key, but we do have a sidekick around that has the proper appendages and digits to run such machinery.
However, we can keep talking to this woman, just for some neat background information.
For those of you who don't know, bursitis is an inflammation of the bursae. I personally suffer from bursitis of the hip. Some website I found off Google has this to say about it: "Hip bursitis, also known as Trochanteric bursitis is inflammation of a bursa or small sack of fluid between tendon and bone which prevents friction. The bursa can become inflamed causing pain in the hip."
Basically, when bursitis has kicked in, it makes things quite painful and you have quite the hitch in your giddy-up. A quick cortisone shot clears it up pretty well. I'm not sure what tonic she's taking to treat it, but since we're in Ye Olde Times, I'd reckon it's probably opium mixed with some tonic water.
I'm more worried about you, granny. I hope you'll be okay.
Still, we heed her advice and run off.
We're actually fairly close to the end of this maze. It's a pretty easy one and a nice entry for what we can get used to seeing.
Before, we were on the west side of the castle, out on the balcony with its three doors. When you hit the east side with its three doors, you're two steps from being done.
Just follow this path on down...
And we get put into a cutscene! Zach runs along automatically here, so when you lose control, you're finished with the little maze.
It's a good thing Zach is free. But what trouble is he going to get into now?
It's big, shiny, and your kitchen has Korean influences.
Uh, sure. I'll let you think I agreed to those.
The rest of us get braised lamb, but Queen Bluegarden, we've decided that you get a tossed salad with low-fat dressing.
I've never understood people in restaurants that snap at the wait service for their food. I'm pretty sure that's going to accomplish nothing that you want it to, and only serves to make you look like an asshole.
I forgot to mention that this was the sequel to Canine Drift.
Guadalupe Hidalgo! It's his canine companion!
Not on purpose, Your Majesty. And especially not before we got the chance to eat.
That's profiling! I'm pretty sure that's wrong, no matter the time period!
That's a hell of a jump for that, man. I think you're being a little unreasonable here.
I won't argue with you on that point.
And one of my favorite dialog options in this, or any, game. It's just so corny, I can't help but love it.
Not that it did us any good. They probably kicked us in the ass once or twice for our bullshit.
There's a switch outside of the cell door that this guy stands on.
We'll get to that switch in a minute.
Psh, four more images, and I'll be halfway free. Just you watch.
With that, the jailer moseys on off, leaving us to our own devices.
Such as planning to break out of prison before the guy's even out of earshot. Gotta respect those cojones.
And with that, we're halfway free!
This is where I leave you off. I'm pooped, and it's bed time.
However, next time, we're not only to free York, but we're also going to get a free Defender collar for Zach while we're at it! Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen, for the next exciting episode of Secret of Evermore!