Part 141: Episode CXXXV: The ChallengeEpisode CXXXV: The Challenge
It's time. It's time to do it. It's time for... The Man Festival. But...
Music: Rising Sun ~ Japanese Town
We do have a tad bit of set-up here. We want everyone to be at peak performance. And I mean that equipment-wise, I'm not grinding. I just want to finish this cursed LP.
I made up a Stud Car quiz now that I've got all the cards. You're gonna give it a try, right?
None of this is in character, but...
Okay, okay! I'll do it!
So our first endgame trial is carefully studying the details of the beefcake porn cards. This is linked to finishing out Anastasia's ultimate weapon. Yeah, not into it either on that front...
The quiz questions and answers if you want to do that... That's your time. I won't judge:
What does chef and restauranteur Miccoli, have in his left hand? A fry pan
How does soul man O'Brian, top bodybuilder, wear his hair? Afro
What does France's top bodybuilder, Marcel, do for a living? Sommelier
What color loincloth does the last samurai, Ogasawara, wear? Red
Who is England's top bodybuilder and super-sleuth? Ashley
What instrument does the popular musician O'Brian, play? Sax
What can you smell if you rub the vest of the masked wrestler? Curry
What is the occupation of Russia's top bodybuilder, Kalpin? Ballerina
Japan's top bodybuilder, Mr. Samurai, what's his name? Ogasawara
What does the ultimate matador, Enrique, have in his mouth? A rose
How many world bodybuilders that appear on cards have their back turned? 1
What does Marcel, France's largest sommelier, have in his right hand? A wine glass
What field does Dr. Oliver, Germany's top bodybuilder, work in? Gynecology
How many bodybuilders that appear on stud cards have nothing in their hands? 2
What is the occupation of Italy's top bodybuilder, Miccoli? Chef
What color underwear does the Indian top bodybuilder, Mr. Wrestler, wear? Black
What does Oliver, German Mr. Doctor, have in his left hand? Medical records
How does super-sleuth Ashley like to spend his spare time? Reading
Which ballet did superstar ballerina Kalpin perform entirely solo? Swan Lake
People call Enrique, Spain's top bodybuilder, the "Iberian..." what? Red Tornado
And thus we gain the fifth and final Silver Angel for Anastasia's ultimate weapon quest.
And so we're leaving town and the continent to cash that shit in. Remember Edgar? The weird old guy that helped Anastasia do crimes and nearly got executed for treason when Rasputin was being a dick? Well...
Music: Town of Twilight ~ European Town
Well, we're going back to see him as he did have a sidequest involving collecting five of these things for reasons unknown. Let's turn that in.
E-Edgar! What's wrong? You look exhausted!
I'm sorry... There have been a lot of matters the Emperor and the Empress have needs for me to attend to.
There might be a small matter of a revolution on the horizon and that isn't too great for your family.
Pfft. These paupers will never dare.
<very concerned look> Uh-huh.
They want me to make something to help you. They know you're not about to stop all your crazy adventures...
Mother and father asked you... But you're so worn out, Edgar!
Well, I'm getting a little old for all this. I've been staying up all night the past few nights. But it wasn't a waste. I've finished it now! My heart and soul went into this. My ultimate Easter egg...!
...Sorry you went to all that trouble for me! It's very kind of you. Thanks.
It's no trouble at all. Mess with this all you like. Out of the country. For at least the next two years.
Look, just trust me on this one. Do you have a place to vacation?
I am becoming fond of Japan.
Excellent! Just... stay there... for a while. A few years. Maybe in exile forever, I'm not sure?
You'll thank me later. But... in the end...
Please save your thanks for the Emperor and Empress. Oh, Princess... There's something on your cuff...
Huh? Hey! I found that the other day. It's fashion! It might not be of any use, but it's still fashionable!
Let's see... Ah, there you go! All gone! Huh?! An angel? A S-Silver Angel?! P-Princess, where did you find this?!
This? I dunno. I came across them all over the place. Five of them in all.
Several boring sidequests. I don't want to talk about it.
Five?! You got all five?!
What's wrong with you?! You've been acting all weird ever since you saw this useless scrap of paper!
Don't you know?! About exchanging five Silver Angels or one Gold one? For the legendary...
I... uh... ahem! I just think it's such a beautiful design. I fell in love with it as soon as I set eyes on it. If they're no use to you, Princess, perhaps you could let me have them?!
Why did you change your tune all of a sudden? What are you hiding?
<shakes head and shrugs> N-nothing! I'm not hiding anything I... I should just go and make the final adjustments to that Easter egg... But I don't know... I'm just so tired. If only I had something to get excited about, that would really perk me up...
Talk about transparent!
Are you a traitor to the state?!
NO! No, no, no. But I have an ultimate weapon.
Well, that's different. But...
<looks at Yuri> I'll say! Well, do you think I should give them to him?
I don't see why not.
I have zero stakes in this.
Really? Are you sure! You are sure! I won't give them back to you, even if you beg me!
That's extremely weird to say before I give a thing to you but OK...
I get it, all right?! I said I'd give them to you, so just calm down!
Now... now the legendary Can... Oh! I nearly forgot! Just a moment...
And thus we receive the ULTIMATE EGG, the Golden Angel. It's cursed but don't worry about that. It has +190 Physical and +207 Special Attack Power.
...I don't know. Something's not right. It's bothering me...
If this is referencing something, it's beyond me. But we're done ever speaking with Edgar or going to Russia again. It's a silly place.
Let's go to a much sillier place. Like Japan. It's time!
Music: Rising Sun ~ Japanese Town
We're going to be here for a while. And we're going to need to do some kitting out of the entire party. Particularly, we want a Pocket Watch on Lucia and Kurando to avoid Ring Abnormalities. Technically, Karin too but Anne's Cross takes care of that. Or a Crucifix but we're not giving that to those two. Gepetto should get a Cosmic Bracelet so he doesn't get his abilities sealed. Blanca is going to want a Will Power to evade SP Lowering. It would be bad if our good boy went Berserk. And finally, Joachim and Anastasia want Leonardo's Bears as Instant Death could be a threat.
With that all taken care of, we need to return to the squared circle of the wrestling ring and speak with the Great Gama.
<does squats and grunts loudly>
<notices the party approaching and stops> Oh...?
Oh! So it's you guys! It's a good day for a fight! You have come all this way. Do you think you can handle meeeeee?!
Music: Gathering God ~ Thrill
Teeeeeeacher!! We have come here to ask you a favor!!
Oh yes, favor asker! I'm open for questions 24-7!! If you got a problem, spit it out!! Open your heart. Your body will follow!! You will forget all your troubles!!
Uh-oh. It's started
This is going to get REALLY stupid, isn't it?
I have come here... to save the world! This may be the very last time that you and I ever meet! Mine is the soul of a TRUE warrior! I've never backed down from a fight!
Oh, yeah...!? Well, mister never back down from a fight, what is this favor you are asking of me?
The intensity is just incredible...
That's one way to put it.
I've come here for one reason only... For the Man Festival!!
The Man Festival?!
You don't mean it...
<folds arms angrily> You mean to challenge me in the Man Festival?!
Huh? What's that?! That sounds kind of... nasty.
I hate this already.
It's the ultimate test for wrestlers... The cruelest of all trials. The Man Festival...
The Man Festival...
Yes, the Man Festival! Countless wrestlers have tried, but every one of them has paid the ultimate price. The physical body is pushed beyond all endurance, and the spirit is tested to madness. Anyone who can survive the test will become heir to me, the Great Gama. But are you prepared to suffer the consequence of losing as well?!
<shudder and steps back>
I'll show no pity to the loser!
<gasps and steps back further>
Fail, and will pay the ultimate price with a baptism that will strip away your manly dignity.
<shakes in fright>
Even you, Joachim!
<flexes> Will be given no quarter!
I... I... I'll never lose!!
<clenches fist> Victory will be mine!!
Very well said, Joachim. I would expect nothing less from my pupil!
Wow! This is going to be great! We are going to be witnesses to history here!
Huh? Oh... oh, yeah.
Again, that's one way to put it... I don't know if you're old enough to see this.
I am not missing this for the world!
I'm not going to stop you. But... you are a little too enthusiastic to see... whatever this is...
Music: Grand Papillon!! ~ Pro Wrestler
The entire ring begins shaking and suddenly reveals...
...a second ring beneath it...
Oh yeah!! <grunts loudly>
...And a third ring...
In fact, it just keeps revealing more and more rings and raises high into a tower of wrestling rings.
...You've got to be shitting me!
Mmm. ...Time to begin the Man Festival! The Tower of the Holy Ring is coooooompleted!! Come on up to the top! I'll be waiting for you here. Yeeeeess!!
I'll be coming up to meet you!!
So. Are you all ready to fight our way up a hundred-story tall wrestling ring? That's where we are at now. This is it. The ultimate shitpost sidequest Shadow Hearts: Covenant has to offer.
Once we begin, there is no turning back. The Man Festival has begun...
Oh and as far as our opponents go in the Tower of the Holy Ring?
Meet the first of the Curry Men. It's weird dancing men in thongs with a plate of curry on their head all the way until the Great Garma at the peak of the tower.
Shadow Hearts: Covenant has starting giving so little of a fuck it is now giving anti-fucks and previously given fucks are being erased from the timeline.
Just one thing! You can't have more people taking part than the number of us in the c-committee, c-cluck!
<clenches fist> No problem! We'll storm this!
Chicken c-curry's pretty lean and mean! Don't be so c-cocky, c-cluck!
Tune in next time for... all this. This is happening. This is our lives now. In the ring.
Video: The Man Festival Begins (Watch this.)
Great Gama Concept Art - So that's how you tie that thing.