Part 143: Episode CXXXVII: Their Tears... Their Suffering...Episode CXXXVII: Their Tears... Their Suffering...
Music: Grand Papillon!! ~ Pro Wrestler
Many more strong men await Joachim and the gang. No sense in keeping them waiting.
Transient bovine form... Empty stock, empty stomach... I am the Oxen Devil... Moooooo!
We now move on to the beef league of the scourge of Curry Men. They said select three men but the squared circle has no place for such frivolities as gender. Only muscle. So Karin and Yuri will square up for another match alongside the path to the peak of wrestling perfection.
Here we have Changri Korma a Fire elemental curry with 420, blaze it, HP. Chingri Madras is a Light elemental flavor with 440 HP. And Chingri Masala, a breezy Wind elemental Curry Man with 430 HP. Each of their spiciness levels inflicts status debilitations identical to the previous round of Curry Men.
This time there are two Chingri Masala and a Chingri Madras.
Again, it seems like there was no talk between whoever localized the enemy name/description stuff and the actual in-game script. As do all the Library entries (did I mention every single goddamn Curry Man gets a Library entry?) Chingri is a curry made with prawns, you know the large shrimp-like things. But all in-game dialog is about beef and their original Japanese names are just Beef Curry - <Spice Level>. Someone fucked up during this enduring shitpost. But I can't blame them too much. I mean look at the state of affairs...
Now two parts Chingri Madras and a pinch of Chingri Masala.
The Himalayan Indian restaurant in town survived the pandemic and I maybe felt compelled to pick up some chicken tandoori and lamb madras curry. It was pretty fucking good! Even if some of my less than healthy innards were not pleased with this unfamiliar adventure into the seldom eaten. Younger me would have done a vindaloo but I have had some less than optimal digestive issues the last few years of the slowly killing me variety, so I'll have to make do toning it down a notch. Curry -- still pretty fucking good!
This time it's just a solo fight between Joachim and Chingri Korma. You're, we're back to the solo match well.
And a solo against a Chingri Masala.
Let's date this LP for you in the future reading. I was editing this update while Jeff Bezos strapped himself to a rocket and said he was going to space...
Just Chingri Madras.
I took a bathroom break and cleaned out my SO's cat bowl and gave it a fresh helping of food and some pets. As it is a cat. And you've got to pet the cat. It's just what you do. And that motherfucker was back from space already? 66 miles up? That's not going to space. That's strapping yourself to a rocket and falling back down. Fuck off, you discount Lex Luthor shitlord and your vanity project. That's more of a shitpost than this sidequest.
But I digress, as I've run out of things to talk about in this sidequest. But guess what...
...So has the game. It cannot keep up with this joke. There aren't enough flavors of curry to keep this shitpost going and there is no way a player is going to actually want to do 100 rounds of food puns and fighting palette swaps of the same enemy. And the developers don't want to program that shit either. So FUCK IT! We're briefly going to draw power from the Xenogears Narration Zone and just skipping to the 89th floor now!
There were many harrowing battles...
But... we just didn't do them. What was that void with the text? I saw a chair with a spotlight over it in the distance and some sort of swinging cross thing... Am I the only one that thinks that was super weird?!
<closes eyes and clenches fist> The journey to true manhood is dense with mystery.
One, two, moo! Time for you to leave us, you jerkies! Mooo!
We're back to the tag team card so the Harmonizer/Grand Papillion ultimate max alliance is back on until further notice against the first round of Chingri Korma and Chingri Masala.
Someone out there has Man Festival Vice President on their resume applying for a middle manager factory position in a dusty city somewhere in India sometime in in late 1920 and an eyebrow is being raised. And this is a Chingri Korma and Chingri Madras fight.
Do not partake in the microwave curry. Especially if it is a combo of Chingri Madras and Chingri Masala.
Now we're getting a Wild Speed: Super Combo of leagues of top Curry Men in the spiciest of meals of Chingri Vandaloo a 450 HP Dark elemental curry. Fish Curry has also taken a heel turn and joined the New Beef/Prawn Order. And Chingri Madras is here too because they've got good mic work and social media presence. Karin is coming back in for this round.
This fight has the rude quirk of the party being surrounded at the start everyone will take some bumps to sell the angle.
Defeating that trifecta unlocks the last breather of the Man Festival and we're going to definitely want to save our game and make sure everyone in the party is topped off to max before we point at the Wrestlemania sign for the PPV event of the Man Festival.
<steps forward> I'll take this one! You all go on up!
<clenches fist> He is putting his manhood on display! For honor! And glory!
OK. Phrasing... But. Whatever. If it makes this go faster...
What a man!
Joachim leaps to the next level and the rest of the party follows.
The final gauntlet of Curry Men before we reach the top level is all going to be 1v1 matches with each of our party members, hence why we took those preparatory steps at the very beginning before we began The Man Festival. This is the part of the sidequest where things could turn rotten because this all does have to be done in a single sitting and we're taking actual mid-boss level Curry Men that have a respectable amount of HP for a solo fight and inflict damage not to be entirely scoffed at compared to the rest.
The Curry Prince is a Light elemental class Curry Man with 1120 HP. His gimmick is he will immediately cast Gale and his attacks will inflict debilitations to Kurando's speed had we not a Pocket Watch equipped.
But with Jutendouji in his kit, Kurando can easily take this fool in three rounds with little effort. Anyway, now to climb down 93 wrestling rings with poofy pants.
There's a change of pace! Gone all matter-of-fact, eh? I'll take you on!
Hasn't the only thing you've said in months been explaining or questioning situations further?
You get dialog?
You're one to talk.
More than you.
Joachim and the gang leave Gepetto to take the heat.
Dry Curry Man is an Earth elemental, being dry and all, and has 1120 HP. His deal is he'll immediately boost his Special Attack power and inflicts Deadly Poison had we not put a button on avoiding that beforehand. And with Gepetto's frail old man that is underleveled, because literally, nobody has ever used Gepetto at length playing this game, that would be a problem losing a third of his HP every turn. Spamming Advent is the way out of this business. Alongside healing every other turn because, again, underleveled as hell.
Beyond that, Dry Curry is what if I want the curry meat part but not the liquid stew part. Just dump that on a bowl of rice. So you basically have a chili con carne and rice. Which doesn't sound too bad, honestly. Apparently, it's pretty popular in Japan with some egg on top. Which... again, not too bad sounding. In fact, that sound amazing at about 3:00 AM after a night of drinking. For some reason that is reminding me of the time I visited my sister and we drank for 12 hours straight and had a Rochester Garbage Plate. I would not order this under normal conditions but drunk at the wee hours of the morning we are in flavor country.
Gepetto... I don't know how you got this high up. But good luck climbing down 94 floors.
Wait a minute! ...That smell! You're not curry at all! You can't trick my nose!
I know every curry in the world's stank!
Lucia is left with her nose.
This false shadow of a Curry Man, Hashed Beef Man is a Fire Elemental with 1120 HP will use Mirage to increase his Evasion rate... against a character good for nothing but magic casting. And will also attempt to inflict Up Ring with its flailing. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. You take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato... Baby, you've got a stew going!
Pictured: The conclusion of times I ever use Lucia in the game. I mean, Gepetto and Kurando too. Kurando I would at least consider in a pinch. Those other two? Cast them off the side of the Tower of the Holy Ring.
<steps forward> You go on. I'll deal with this one. I was born poor. This one's for me!
Plus "veggies" has two g's in it and I take issue with your syntax!
The party bounces to a higher social class.
Being poor means the Dark element and 1120 HP with just casting Mirage as its only trait of note. Karin, I know your family was down on its luck but it didn't exactly feel like you were from the streets giving you have expert fencer training and that you were a moderately high-ranking German military official before this adventure. You aren't finding enough loose change to get something off the McDonald's dollar menu for a bonus meal while waiting two hours for my mom to get off of work to pick me up from school poor, Karin. I was. So fuck off, you bourgeoisie having to scrap by only being comfortable middle-class fake ass poor.
Only 96 floors of climbing down flashing the whole of Japan with your bright blue panties! Lord knows you've done it to me every single time you've been in a battle the entire goddamn game. At least Alice Elliot had the courtesy to not have extremely contrasting colors when she did that non-stop in the previous title.
Awroo! Aw-awroo...! (Looks like it's my turn...)
Awroo... Awroo... (Do not ask me why... I'm just reading from the script and the director is motioning me toward the fight...)
Joachim and the others leave Blanca to a bout not about wolves.
The Curry Sage has 1120 HP and is of the Light element. It was originally the Curry Hermit in Japanese. I suppose being a sage of curry is respectable while a hermit of curry is just... some asshole in the woods that fixes himself curry for lunch. This one casts Surge to augment its SP Attack down innate physical hit abilities hence why we gave Blanca a Will Power accessory to combat that at the start. Otherwise, we just get Blanca's ghost familiars and the furry founder of the Boy Scouts of America to trounce this guy.
What are any of us doing here, Blanca? What are any of us doing here...?
<marches forward and points> Egg! This one's for me! Let's see who's number one, shall we?!
I bet your eggs don't even have supernatural properties!
They are the whitest of egg white shells you have ever seen in this curry!
...You mean egg whites?
Yes! The shell's texture is pristine!
The shell the egg whites came out of?
Yes, the white shells in the curry.
...The shells in the curry?!
Yes, the egg whites.
No. The shell is a shell.
Yes, the white shell. The egg white.
The egg white is the part inside an egg that isn't the yolk.
I don't follow.
You crack open an egg and there is the yellow mass, the yolk, and the rest that is the egg whites.
No, the hard shell is the egg whites.
No it is not! That is a SHELL!
The white shell... The egg white.
Did... did you cook the shell and put that in your curry?
Yes. I cooked the egg white.
OK. I cannot subject everyone else to something this stupid. You all can go. I have to hurt this man.
Egg curry is just substituting meat with softboiled eggs if you're doing a vegetarian thing. Seems alright for breakfast. Egg Curry Man is a Wind class enemy with 1120 HP.
They hit quite hard, especially against the very squishy Anastasia. And are just tainted with Instant Death. This is another fight like Gepetto's where it was a big attack, maybe a second big attack with caution since Anastasia is somewhat underleveled. Heal between those times. But this one did manage to get two critical hits in a single turn. Which did not take Anastasia out of the game. But via the magic of just making a save state on an emulator and letting nature run its course.
Music: Death and Defeat ~ Game Over
Should Anastasia have sped up the timeline by a few years and met an early demise, it's worth mentioning that The Man Festival does have a unique Game Over screen. Of a rendered plate of curry, naturally.
Music: Vicious 1915 ~ Battle in Europe
But that's not what happened! While everyone else has just tapped out of participating and helping Joachim in The Man Festival. Anastasia is staying in as group manager because she wants to see the final throw-down title match between Joachim and Gama so she will ascend to the top. But not before...
Yeah, yeah, whatever! Looks like this one is up to me...
Protagonist duties... I got it... I'm cutting curry out of my diet for years after this.
Joachim leaves Yuri behind and ascends to the summit.
It's up to Yuri to take on the final Curry Man -- Cutlet Curry. He is of Fire element and has 1120 HP. And is a dishonorable lout as he is the only Curry Man who uses offensive magic and has access to every second to last tier elemental spell on top of casting Gale at the beginning. But... Yuri has Neo Amon so no big deal.
And with that, the menace of the Curry Men has been vanquished. All that remains is the summit. Floor 100 of The Tower of the Holy Ring. The Man Festival Main Event awaits... A battle of muscle. Will. Strength. Honor. And a question deep in all men's hearts will all be answered.
In the ring...
The Great Gama's Insignia - Jovial.