Part 28: Episode XXVIII: Staring Ettiquite

Episode XXVIII: Staring Etiquette


Music: Old Smudged Map ~ Europe



Remember what an ordeal it was to make it from Paris to Wales what with having to go through multiple subterranean labyrinths, taking out a local crime syndicate to charter a boat across the English Channel due to wartime conditions and evading marauding secret cult baddies? Yeah well, none of that is necessary in order to just waltz into Italy. I guess the war is on vacation for a few weeks and Sapientes Gladio is taking a break from being a mild nuisance to our band of dipshits.


NEW Music: OohLaLa! ~ The Beautiful Girl From Florence (The theme of being horny on main.)





Indeed, apparently tracking down a fortuneteller with only a first name to go by in the middle of a city of around 250,000 people is a trivial matter as we open the chapter already at her establishment. It has quite the décor...







We are treated to a busty lady who manages to levitate a set of tarot cards by raising her arms, gyrating her hips and flashing her underwear repeatedly at the camera. As you do. I've never gotten my fortune told. Is this how it works? Or is to a regional feature of Italy?





The woman continues an elaborate dance number as the tarot cards begin to flutter around the room. Watch we're in the wrong place and this lady is just a Force user and the tarot cards are just there for flair.



The party seems very impressed with the display and watch as the cards flip and tumble around the room. Well, most of the party does. Yuri is somewhat fixated on another part of the show...



That's amazing...
Yeeeeeeah...



I wonder how she's doing that...?
Yeah...



She's not using any wires...
Yeah...



Awroo...
Yeah...



Yuri, it's good you haven't transformed into an asexual sulk sack like many protagonists who lose their significant other in a tragedy and all. But please stop being horny on main. Anyway, it seems this extra from Deadwood is the one getting their fortune told today.



The woman's dance ends and the tarot cards return to circling her as she draws from some manner of power and the appropriate card for the customer's fortune is selected.



Whoa!! <clapping>
Incredible!
Yeah...



And here comes your fortune...
<whispers into the man's ear>
Mhhm... Mhm...



<stunned gasp>



I guess it wasn't what he was looking for. That frontier gold claim must be a bust. He's going to have to get the Pinkertons on that prospector's case for the false claim now!



Hmm. Good day. Hm.

The fortuneteller says good-bye to everyone as they leave the establishment. Little known fact, Japanese style bowing was all the rage in Europe during The Great War but fell out of popularity once peace returned. It's one of those things they seldom mention in historical records.



<chuckles>
<waves> Thank you, ma'am. Most appreciated.
<waves good-bye>



Thank you.
Yes... Ugh...



<waves> Come back again!



Seeing out the last of the guests exiting the door, the fortuneteller turns back and frowns seeing who is still left in the room.

Music: ENDS



To be fair, I'd also probably be frowning if I turned around and saw I was alone with this lot. I mean... they brought a fucking wolf in!



Fortune reading is over, everyone.
I put the tarot cards away and stopped the music ten minutes ago...

A very short, portly old woman enters the room.



There's a three-month waiting list here. Now give up and go on home.
<nods>
How did you all even get through the front door without an invitation? ...And did you bring a dog? You let them bring a dog in here?!
I-I didn't see it until...
It's actually a wolf.
You all! Get out!



Can't you just bend the rules a little more?
You must be deaf, old man. Out best girl does not come that cheap!
<smiles>
Did you all even pay to get in here?!
Well... not exactly...
The door! Now!
A man named Thomas told us about you. He said that you would know something about a group named Sapientes Gladio.



Sapientes Gladio?!
......
Hmph, that old business. Forget it. I haven't got the time!
Oh, please, kind lady! Won't you please help us on our quest?
...Could we not refer to this as a "quest"? That sounds really lame. There's better things to focus on right now...
Awroo!
I know, right?
......
...And what do I get? I suppose you have no money either?
Well, I umm... Uhh... That is... Hmm...
Yuri, you're in charge of this. How is our group finances?



Everyone notices Yuri has just been staring at titties this entire time with a big stupid grin on his face.

Karin takes umbrage with Yuri's continued horniness and punches him hard in the arm.



Yuri! Don't be such a jerk. Why don't you just ask her, already!?
Oww! That really hurt! Why'd you do that?! What do you think you're doing?
Hmph! <scowls>
......
Umm, pretty please...?
Are you actually for real right now?!
Umm... with sugar on top?
......
What? That really hurt! I'm not on my game right now!



......



Dah... Alright...
Mmm-hmm!
...Wait, that actually worked...?
Hmph.


Music: OohLaLa! ~ The Beautiful Girl From Florence



Oh, well. I suppose I'll have to help. Let's see...
...You two. You're going to have to work it off, on your backs.



Huh?
<concerned frown>


Music: Town of Twilight ~ European Town



<points at Karin> It's simple. I want you to go with Lucia here and get me a flower to use in my incantations. A very valuable flower. What do you say? Should be a piece of cake for you, right?
A kid your age. You've got to be at least what...? Level 9 or 10 by this point?
...Or maybe you'd rather perform a sexy dance or two...?
A sexy dance?! Wh-who, me?!
Of course, you! Do you think anybody else here would look good in a see-through outfit?
What, am I going to put the canine in it? I'm still not happy about that, by the way. There BETTER not be any fur left behind here or there will be hell to pay!
...Awroo.
S-see-through?!



Even Blanca is intrigued. Zero response out of Joachim, though. I mean, though let's be real. In that ridiculous outfit, I think everyone got a full load view of that experience back during the rainstorm in Southampton.



Joachim steps forward.



<points at Joachim> You keep quiet, sicko.

Joachim falls to his knee in defeat.



Hey! That wasn't very nice...
_{...I think I'm a good dancer...}
<steps forward> All right, fine! I won't do the dancing, but we can certainly go get that flower you mentioned.
<shakes head> *sigh* Too bad. You have such a lovely figure...
And you certainly aren't leaving much of it to the imagination.
...W-what's that supposed to mean?
Awroo...?
Yeah, for real...?
Quiet you!
<points at Karin> Ah, well. Get me that flower, then, as fast as you can. Lucia knows where it is. Good luck, now, everybody!



Perhaps it's just the fact I've had bad experiences with mysterious flowers and fantasy quests in the but something about this seems somewhat sinister to me. I guess we'll find out soon enough. Tune in next time as we explore the expansive... block of Florence allotted to us and then maybe go track down a flower of ill-repute as Shadow Hearts: Covenant continues!






Video: Episode 28 Highlight Reel (It's a very impressive dance number.)





Carla Concept Art - Tall anime old ladies do not exist. By the way the tiny old crone was Carla.