IntroductionAlternate Thread Titles
* Fuck Rebellion Developments.
* Can someone please remind Rebellion Developments it's no longer 1994?
* The entire staff of Rebellion Developments can die of cancer for all I care.
* Quake III textures on Quake II models, but released in 2009!
Shellshock 2: Blood Trails is a first-person shooter video game developed by Rebellion Developments, the same talentless hacks responsible for the recent disaster Rogue Warrior, the awful PS2 port of Call of Duty: World at War, and the mediocre 2010 Alien vs. Predator game. They're actually responsible for the original AvP on the Atari Jaguar as well (which wasn't complete shit back in '94), the engine of which I can only assume they recycled for this game.
It is the sequel to Shellshock: Nam '67, which was developed by Guerrilla Games and published by Eidos in 2004. Luckily, it barely has anything to do with this game, and as such is not necessary viewing. This abomination came out 5 years later, in February of 2009, and somehow manages to look worse than it's predecessor despite having far higher system requirements. I'm sorry; did I say "far higher system requirements"? I meant to say that it takes an abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous toll on your system, despite the fact that it looks no better than it did back in 2004.
You play as Pvt. Nathaniel "Nate" Walker; a young marine with the personality of a paper plate. He was drafted in 1969 and brought to a U.S. base in Pleiku to extract info from his insane brother (Sgt. Caleb "Cal" Walker, protagonist of the original game) regarding some lost cargo known as Whiteknight, which causes people to go insane (such as your aforementioned brother). And so, you must blast your way through Vietnam, slaughtering the Vietcong and eventually zombies. This game isn't too heavy on the "story": Just get from point A to point B and you'll do just fine. Along the way, you must contend with broken AI, repetitive level design, a thousand lame cutscenes that run way too long, and total fucking boredom. Luckily, you're pretty much immune to bullets, so there's no real difficulty to the game until a few levels in when enemies start spawning directly behind you and clawing you to death.
Welcome to Hell, soldier. My name is Habermann, and I'm here to guide you through the metaphorical rivers of Hades on my comfy little metaphorical riverboat. Along the way, I will be joined by some guest commentators, who will inevitably regret their involvement moments after they stop recording.
|Episode 1: "Host" (Guest starring Hbomberguy)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 2: "Quarantine" (Guest starring pawnstick)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 3: "Infection" (Guest starring EnigmaticCardboard)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 4: "Refuge" (Guest starring a drunk Habermann)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 5: "Trip" (Guest starring Fuck Seeker)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 6: "Hunted" (Guest starring Psycho Serum)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 7: "Captured" (Guest starring EnigmaticCardboard)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 8: "Payback" (Guest starring Sir Jimbo)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 9: "Evac" (Guest starring Baggot)||Dailymotion||YouTube|
|Episode 10: "Whiteknight" (Guest starring Hbomberguy)||Dailymotion||YouTube|